Enviro-Bear 2010
by Blinkbat Games
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Description
Who is driving that car? Oh my God, a Bear is Driving! How can that Be?!
How to play:
* Grab stuff with your finger.
* Eat Fish and Berries.
* When you are FAT enough, drive into a cave to Hibernate.
* You can throw stuff out the windows and sunroof!
Version 1.1 now supports older iPhone systems, and progress saving. um, yay!
Famous people also like bears:
"The driving controls provide as realistic of an experience as I can imagine if I were a bear driving a car"
- TouchArcade.com
"Enviro-Bear 2010 is a game made by crazy people ... practically impossible to get to wherever you want to go"
- SlideToPlay.com
"The best, and only, bear-driving-a-car simulation Come for the absurdist humor, stay for the limited, but deceptively deep game design."
- Anthony Burch, Destructoid
"It's fantastically manic and unapologetically absurd, and any would-be quibbles about the touchiness of its vehicular controls are instantly headed-off and negated by the bare fact that bears don't know how to drive cars."
- Brandon Boyer, Offworld
OMG, better yet, check out all those wacky user reviews!
What's New in Version 1.1
OS 2.2.1 compatibility.
Progress will be saved.
Customer Reviews
Bear-L of FUN
WARNING!!!: All of the NEGATIVE reviews are FAKE and obviously posted by sworn mortal enemies of the developer, who is a genius. Do NOT not buy this game.
Now, let's get real: if you could take the realism of Gran Turismo, add the storyline and special effects of a Hollywood blockbuster, have Jesus write up a soundtrack and have it sung by Meatloaf, Sting, and Justin Timberlake, you'd have something like Enviro-Bear. My girlfriend saw me playing the game--and I actually feel silly calling it a "game", it's more like a world where your darkest fantasies come true and then you're snapped RIGHT back to reality (f*** this badger!!!)--and when she saw the screen she instantly became 9 months pregnant. Three tense minutes later, and my firstborn son was delivered.
Pure artistic genius
The next time someone starts spouting off about how, "video games are not an art form", I now have demonstrable proof that they are wrong. It portrays things in ways that literature, painting, or music could not possibly equal. This game completes me.
A generation gap?
This game gets mixed reactions -- I think maybe younger gamers are too used to modern "arcade-style" bear-driving simulators. X to accelerate, circle to stop, square to devour salmon, triangle to throw badger out the sunroof?... gimme a break! That's not "simulation" -- that's an arcade game!
Enviro-Bear 2010 harkens back to the old-fashioned "hardcore" bear-driving simulators of our childhood, right down to the graphics and the manual salmon-skeleton management. This is how we did it in the old days, kids -- manually, in real time, and with just one meaty paw to juggle it all.
Yup, this game is HARD. If you can live for 5 years, through feast and famine and overfishing and oversleeping, consider yourself well and truly old-skool. Can you handle it? HANDLE IT WITH JUST ONE MEATY PAW? Otherwise, save your "gift cards" and spend 'em on some, I dunno, Towel Defense or whatever kids play these days.
- Category: Games
- Updated Jul 27, 2009
- Current Version: 1.1
- 2.4 MB
- Languages: English
- Seller: Blinkbat Games
- © Justin Smith
Requirements: Compatible with iPhone and iPod touch. Requires iPhone OS 2.2.1 or later.
