Pirate Utility

Description

The Pirate Utility includes the functions of the Pirate Insult Generator and the Pirate Translator. It also includes extra features such as copying insults and translations for pasting into other apps and sending insults and translations directly to the Mail app.

The Pirate Insult Generator assembles full piratey sounding insults by randomly selecting threats, insults, adjectives, nouns, and exclamations from a variety of lists. The end result is usually a long-winded insult you might yell at a pirate in the heat of battle or during a duel. If you don't have much occasion to battle pirates, you could just try them out on friends, coworkers, and random strangers. Hopefully, they will be less likely to run you through with a sword. There are nigh on eight million unique combinations of insults. Granted, some of those eight million look pretty close to some others of the eight million, but that still leaves plenty of room for variation.

For example, here are some pirate insults you can get from the generator:
"We'll rip an' burn yer Jolly Roger, ye salty, pox-faced kraken ... Strike yer colors!"
"Ye don' need a sword. Yer face be deadlier, ye sorry, scurvy-infested, bilge-drinkin' swab ... Walk the gangplank!"
"Me parrot be smarter than ye, ye barnacle-covered, sorry, foul-smellin' sea snake ... Blast ye!"
"Ye fight like a lass, ye sorry, black-spotted, nattering wretch ... Surrender!"
"Ye smell like ye been swimmin' in the bilge, ye salty, scrappy sea bass ... Blimey!"

The Pirate Translator attempts to translate English language into something you could say in a drunken pirate brawl or when writing to your pirate penpal. A dictionary of nearly 500 words and phrases are used, not counting variations on verb tense and plurality, making this translator one of the most comprehensive pirate translators in the world. Even if you don't have need to converse with pirates on a regular basis, this app is invaluable for International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19th.

For example, here are some translations:
"Hello there! How are you doing? My girlfriend is meeting me later for dinner and some drinks."
"Ahoy thar! How are ye doin'? Me strumpet be meetin' me later fer grub 'n rum."

"I don't know what you're thinking. You cheated! You owe me 5 dollars!"
"I dunno wha' ye're thinkin'. Ye hornswaggler! Ye owe me 5 doubloons!"

There are four tabs in the Pirate Utility.
* Insult - Generate insults! Touch the button or the monkey for a new insult.
* Translate - Translate English to Pirate! Enter English text at the top and tap "Translate". Pirate text appears at the bottom.
* Suggest - Make suggestions for new insults, translations, or features from within the app.
* Settings - Tailor how insults and translations are generated.

Future Features:
* Screen rotation - I have it working in the development version, but not consistently yet.
* Post insults and translations to Twitter

Disclaimer:
By using this app, you hold Pirate Monkeyness and Tim Moses harmless for any damage to your iPhone, yourself, or your personal property from misuse of insults or translations generated by the Pirate Utility. Do not use while driving or during heated pirate sword fights.

Credit:
A couple of the insults were inspired by Monty Python and by The Secret of Monkey Island (and what a brilliant use of insults that is). Also, thanks to Will Mason, Bill, and Lindsay for their insult suggestions. Thanks to Travis and Billy for their speedy testing of this app. Thank you beta testers!