Onion News Network
By The Onion
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| Name | Description | Released | Price | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | ExplicitVideoRomney To Undergo Gender Reassignment Surgery To Better Connect With Women Voters | Joe Biden plans to honor fallen U.S. soldiers by jumping his motorcycle over the Vietnam Memorial, Thomas the Tank Engine is a little uneasy with his broad autistic following, and a friend who said goodbye 10 minutes ago is still on Gchat. | 25 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 2 | ExplicitVideoQuiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter | Kevin Bright's coworkers were shocked to learn that the mild-mannered, reserved temp spends his free time performing s****y music. | 24 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 3 | ExplicitVideoVIDEO: Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter | VIDEO: Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter | 24 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 4 | ExplicitVideoSearch Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers | Autistic reporter Michael Falk questions the logic of continuing to look for a group of lost hikers who clearly are no longer alive. | 23 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 5 | ExplicitVideoFirst McDonald's Opens With A Young Grimace Just Starting Out As A Cashier | The Onion reflects on Bette Davis’s film debut as a piece of chocolate cake, Lindbergh’s historic flight across the Atlantic Ocean after decades of disastrous test runs with dog pilots, and the opening of the first McDonald’s with a young Grimace just starting out as a cashier. | 22 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 6 | ExplicitVideoFirst Academy Awards Celebrates Best Actor In Blackface, Biggest Jew Nose | The Onion reflects on Bette Davis’s film debut as a piece of chocolate cake, Lindbergh’s historic flight across the Atlantic Ocean after decades of disastrous test runs with dog pilots, and the opening of the first McDonald’s with a young Grimace just starting out as a cashier. | 22 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 7 | ExplicitVideoBehind The Pen: The Chinese Threat | Thorsberg-Bronze-Quill-Award-winning cartoonist Stan Kelly takes you behind the scenes of his latest editorial cartoon, which explores a hidden threat from overseas. | 21 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 8 | ExplicitVideoDying Chevron Executive Excited To One Day Become Oil | The transportation secretary flips out on a pothole in Baltimore, a man wearing red glasses and pink pants is probably Dutch or something, and an Ohio Film Festival graphic designer decides to go with film reels for the O's. It's the week of May 14th, 2012. | 18 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 9 | ExplicitVideoRepublicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion | Democrats charge that Republican members of Congress are preventing the passage of the bills by moving very slowly. | 17 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 10 | ExplicitVideoAfter Weeks Of Media Pressure, Shia LaBeouf Still Refusing To Have Public Meltdown | In this Star Fix Quick Hit, Angelique Clark looks at the media's ongoing efforts to push Shia LaBeouf over the edge into a Charlie Sheen-style breakdown. | 16 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 11 | ExplicitVideoAlabama Hosts First Desegregated Mass Suicide | The Onion looks back at Alabama's first desegregated mass suicide, the historic V.E. Day Speech from FDR's rotting corpse, and the completion of the transcontinental railroad with the gold-plated femur of a C******n. | 15 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 12 | ExplicitVideoBehind The Pen: How Marriage Works | Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. | 14 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 13 | ExplicitVideoSame Homeless Man Always Begging For Change On United Flight | A 5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape, former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course. | 11 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 14 | ExplicitVideoIn Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls | President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. | 7 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 15 | ExplicitVideoIt Easy To Tell What Area Man Will Look Like As Skeleton | An anxiety-ridden man is rightly ashamed of every single thing that he does, half a sleeve of Oreos is lost in a house fire, and a local man has had more than enough beach. | 4 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 16 | ExplicitVideoMedium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk | Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond. | 2 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 17 | ExplicitVideoRomney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot | This week the Romney campaign introduced "Paco", a taco-loving cartoon parrot, in hopes of appealing to Latino voters. | 1 5 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 18 | ExplicitVideoBiden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter | Inspired by the First Lady's health plan for children, Vice President Joe Biden has pledged to make every American woman beach-ready. | 30 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 19 | ExplicitVideoKid Screaming Behind Passenger During Entire Plane Crash | A Greyhound bus crash claims 30 miserable lives, a Stanford study finds no logical reason why planes are able to fly, and a local man goes and gets himself hit by a goddamn bus. | 27 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 20 | ExplicitVideoKanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria | In the Daily Briefing, Tucker Hope reports on Kanye West's feud with Syria and a company's decision not to bother recalling a defective hotplate. | 25 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 21 | ExplicitVideoObama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone | Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself "somehow very sad." | 24 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 22 | ExplicitVideoPekingese Really Letting Self Go Since Winning Westminster | A local man is proud he can still fit into his car from high school, "Stray To Be Destroyed" tops the list of cat names for the 24th straight year, and a Pekingese is really letting itself go since winning Westminster. | 20 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 23 | ExplicitVideoFour American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis | Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four U.S. soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died. | 18 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 24 | ExplicitVideoReport: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook | A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing Facebook posts. | 17 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| 25 | ExplicitVideoDemocrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn | While most Democrats plan to vote for Obama in November, they continue to tell pollsters they're "undecided" just for the fun of messing with the president's head. | 12 4 12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| Total: 25 Episodes |
Customer Reviews
These are brilliant
Demonstrates true quality and cleverness that you would normally associate with Monty Pythonesque British comedy. I've enjoyed each of these.
Parallel universe
Much like a lot of our news media, this is what news would look like in some parallel universe that split from our universe 30 years ago. Fantastic
funny to say the least
funny and strangely informative.
