Curling Rocks

Hard, hurry, hard! At last, here's the perfect Essentials collection for anyone who thinks ice is naked without rocks and brooms. Almost eight centuries old, curling is one of sport's great traditions — and here we send it hurtling into the 21st century supported by hearty blasts of Gob and Hammerfall (curling aficionados, both). This truly is "the roaring game." Slide over to Next Steps to release more curling tunes.

"They treat curling just like it's a real sport." That's "Weird Al" Yankovic, curling fans, and he's talking about you on "Canadian Idiot" (with his tongue lodged firmly in his cheek, of course). It's a cheap shot, but who cares — nothing beats getting pumped up over rocks, down at the rink, with the adrenalized sonic boost of Blur's "Song 2" or TROOPER's "Raise a Little Hell" burning through the frosted air. Weee-hooo. Sweep up the rest of your curling collection over in Deep Cuts.

OK, maybe Ice Cube wasn't thinking about the curling sheet when he cut "Pushin' Weight," but it sits well here, as do pro curlers' favourites like Dick Dale's "Del-Tone Rock" and Little Milton's rollicking "Gimme' My Broom." Here, we've also included curling gig regular Danko Jones, with his impassioned version of Elvis Costello's "Pump It Up."

Sometimes, music is not enough. That's why we've book-ended this tailor-made selection of curling tracks with two of the finest "rock" sounds in the world: the "Slide and Release" and the "Impact." In between, the tunes kick in, so that you can genuinely rock the "house." Some of the artists on our playlist are as addicted to curling as we are; others may never have seen a hog line crossed in their lives. But the bottom line is this: If you think happiness is a never-ending bonspiel, you've come to the right place.