Rock Party

Friends, shredders, denim lovers — if you have heads, prepare to bang them now. It's rock party time! And we're going to start out the way we mean to continue: fast, loose, and hard on the ear. "Rock and Roll" needs no introduction other than its title — the second track from Led Zeppelin IV can transform any room into a frenzied orgy of sound at the push of a play switch. Nirvana's grunge anthem "Smells Like Teen Spirit" will shake the cobwebs from your neighbour's ceiling, and Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills" may well rupture the water mains.

A double dose of Lemmy elevates our Next Steps to industrial strength.

A while back, no self-respecting rock party would have showed its face in public without an army of hairy-faced rockers in denim waistcoats, a fog of patchouli oil, and a sea of snakebite — and the best way to make the sonic leap back to those glory days in a split second is a blast of Hawkwind's "Silver Machine", featuring future Motörhead frontman Lemmy on bass and vocals . . . so you might as well follow up with "Ace of Spades", just for the hell of it. For a touch of glam, cue up Mott the Hoople's "All the Young Dudes" (written and produced by David Bowie).

You don't need to go to L.A. for smutty '80s rock — just summon Mötley Crüe, in Deep Cuts.

Suck up the spirit of the Sunset Strip here, as Mötley Crüe sum up the L.A. rockers' creed in three words — "Girls, Girls, Girls" — and Kiss slaps a gauntlet in the face of fatigue with "Rock and Roll All Nite". Dr. Feelgood's "Milk and Alcohol" is a pub rock classic, the aural equivalent of a triple gin followed by a pork scratching chaser; Metallica drags us howling through the pitch-black tar-pit of hell with "Master of Puppets"; and the Smashing Pumpkins mock the impending sunrise with a chorus of fuzz and distortion on "Cherub Rock".

You don't need fancy moves, hipster duds, or a superstar DJ — for an instant rock party, just fill a room with your friends, max out the volume and leave the rest to our playlist, guaranteed to keep the festivities lively all the way from Aerosmith to ZZ Top. Convert your front room into an arena with Boston ("More Than a Feeling"), flick two fingers in the direction of the noise police with the Clash ("I Fought the Law"), tap into the very source of metal with Deep Purple ("Smoke On the Water"), shout yourself hoarse with Jet ("Are You Gonna Be My Girl"), and ask mama-mia to let you go with Queen ("Bohemian Rhapsody"). That bangin' on your door is the neighbours . . . and they want a piece of your action, so let them in, and party on.