Foster Parenting Podcast
By T & W
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Podcast Description
Join foster parents T and W as they discuss foster care. With humor, insight and Christian faith, they share their everyday ups and downs as a foster family hoping to adopt. Get your questions answered about the foster and fost adopt system while following T and W's journey through the process. What's it like to deal with the system? Are all social workers really jaded? How intrusive is it on your life? All these questions and more will be answered from T and Ws real-life perspective. Watch out! You may find yourself thinking about fostering or adopting too! If you're only going to listen to one episode, we recommend Episode 4
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CleanEpisode 116 – Unusual Adoption Story | T interviews Zach about their adoption and its many unusual circumstances. Their story will leave you inspired and stretch your imagination about what is possible in creating a family. Before listening to this episode make sure to watch this great video. | 5/24/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 115 – Indian Child Welfare Act | Have you heard of special laws governing the adoption of children who are of Native American descent? In the US, children who are Native American fall under a specific law called the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), which can govern their adoptive and foster placements. T interviews Johnston Moore about ICWA. They discuss the origins and intentions of the federal law and its ongoing application. Originally created to ensure the rights of Native Americans, Moore says that the law is sometimes used to make decisions that may not be in the best interests of children. Johnston Moore belongs to a network of activists working to amend the law. If you wish to contact him, he can be reached at http://www.home-4-ever.org | 5/9/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 114 – Introducing Mercy | D & K introduce the first “loin child” into the podcast. Baby Mercy entered their home and Dillon and Austin have accepted her with open arms and love. Hear the update on their family as they all adjust to being a family of five. They wrestled with how to tell Dillon’s kindergarten class about his life before adoption, but thanks to your help they found a way to overcome their lack of knowledge and affirm his adoption. | 4/25/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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4 |
CleanEpisode 113 – Spring Update | Yes, we’re back with a new episode. This one breaks a record set many years ago. Catch up on our life and all the decisions that are forming our family. We’ve also got a number of questions for our co-hosts. We’ll be a part of a foster parenting panel at Orphan Summit. Make sure to say “hi” if you’re there. http://www.summitviii.org/ | 3/18/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 112 – Opening Up to Birth Parents | Many foster parents draw firm boundaries between themselves and their foster children’s birth parents. But is this right? In this interview with Saint Fults, a social worker in St. Louis, Missouri, we learn of another perspective of openness toward birth family relationships from the beginning of the child’s placement. Fults advocates that foster parents should consider opening their lives more fully to birth families, including hosting visits in the foster home. The perspective challenged us to think about what is truly best for the children in our care, and how a higher degree of openness in foster care might better set up birth families for successful reunification. | 12/20/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 111 – Lice Invasion | D & K are back with a new episode. They welcomed in a short term placement with some unexpected visitors, transitioned her to another foster home and celebrated their first ever “familiversary”. Hear how Dillon and Austin are transitioning into permanence and how the entire family is preparing for the addition of a brand new “loin child”. | 12/3/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 110 – Celebration or Tragedy | T & W field a listener question about the appropriateness of celebrating a foster placement. Is it born of tragedy or is it a cause for joy? We also discuss the Penn State child abuse scandal and the latest in our lives. If you ever need to report child abuse call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD | 11/17/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 109 – All the Dirt on Foster Care and Why You Should Still Do It | We recently were able to participate in the annual Together for Adoption Conference. This episode is based on the breakout session we led there. We’ve heard a lot of stories about foster care. Sometimes the stories are in the news, sometimes we hear them from people we know, and sometimes strangers volunteer their perspectives. Rather than sweeping the dirt under the rug, we think we should talk about it. So this episode is our attempt to confront negative stories about foster care experiences. We talk about abusive foster parents, delays in the adoption process, biased social workers and judges, and the pain of getting attached and having to say goodbye. Come see us in person and enjoy other great speakers at the KidBridge Seminar in Rolling Hills Estates, CA on Saturday, October 29! | 10/26/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 108 – Privacy & Security | T & W respond to a listener question about privacy and security in foster care. We run down the steps we take to insure the privacy and safety of our family. Also! We’ll be speaking at the Together for Adoption Conference in Phoenix. The conference is October 21-22, 2011. Hope to see you there. Register here. If you’d like to hear another podcast about foster parenting, you should check out “Our Foster Parenting Experience” Check it out here and here. | 9/20/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 107 – Kindergarten | D&K prepare to send Dillon off to Kindergarten and deal with Austin’s memories and fantasies about his previous foster mom. They also prepare for a new short-term placement. All comments about college football are welcome. | 9/4/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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11 |
CleanEpisode 106 – Orphan Sunday | Learn how churches are partnering with orphans worldwide in an interview with Vanessa Vasquez, Orphan Sunday National Director. W talks with Vanessa about various approaches to Orphan Sunday including prayer, sermons, videos and testimonies. Vanessa encourages listeners to visit the Orphan Sunday website, which includes a map of Orphan Sunday events, bulletin inserts, and a special live event. W mentions a previous episode where we hit a nerve with some listeners who dearly loved the Starfish Story. And, we talk about a surprising trigger for grieving our former foster children: a trip to a local Asian market. | 8/16/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 105 – Royal Family Kids | T interviews Jacob, a counselor at Royal Family Kids Camp, a summer program run by churches for foster kids throughout the country and internationally. Jacob mentioned his film project CAMP. You can contribute to his Kickstarter Campaign here. Help him reach his goal! | 8/4/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 104 – Thank You for “Adopted Day” | D & K celebrate their adoption of Dillon and Austin. They describe their experience at court and the tender moments in the day that made it meaningful. They also let us in on a new situation in their lives and the great many awkward responses it brings. | 7/29/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 103 – So Hard to Say Goodbye | Our family says good-bye to Luke and Nolan. T & W discuss the details of their move–where they went, why they left and how we’re feeling about their time with us. Saying goodbye to a foster child is something that most people fear. It’s a concern that even keeps many prospective foster or adoptive families from foster parenting at all. In the midst of this grief, we wanted to talk about what we are feeling and why we don’t regret the experience of being foster parents to Luke and Nolan. Even though the past six months have tested our patience and strength, we are thankful to have had the experience of loving them. Also in this episode, you’ll hear what it was like to go on vacation as a foster family and the worst thing a teacher has ever said to us. | 7/7/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 102 – The Connected Child | D & K give an update on their impending adoption and a review of “The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family” by Karyn Purvis. The book has been extremely helpful in their journey and has given them many practical tips including “3 simple rules”, the “redo” and “choices”. | 6/26/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 101 – Here Comes the Judge | We share our experience in taking the boys to court and introducing them to the judge who makes the decisions that shape their lives. The experience showed us why taking kids to court isn’t always advised, but might be just what the children need to understand their own situation. In addition, T attended a TDM (Team Decision Making) Meeting and we run through what that meeting was like and the results from that meeting. In this episode we mention the Family-to-Family model. You can find resources on that here. | 6/15/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 100 – Doubts, Questions and Hurdles | We recorded our 100th episode in front of an audience at Olive Crest Foster and Adoption Agency. It was such a pleasure to meet and connect with our listeners. In this episode we tackle some of the toughest doubts and questions thrown at the foster care system. We respond to questions about inept social workers, the rights of birth parents and the limbo that kids are left in as they wait for the courts to decide their futures. We also share some thoughts on risk and what type of person it will take to reform the system. “To Risk” by William Arthur Ward To laugh is to risk appearing a fool, To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement, To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return, To live is to risk dying, To hope is to risk despair, To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live. Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom. Only a person who risks is free. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; And the realist adjusts the sails. | 5/20/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 99 – Ethiopian Orphans | T & W discuss W’s recent trip to Ethiopia. We explain what it is she does for work and why that led her to Ethiopia. If you’re interesting in contributing to the compelling work Food for the Hungry is doing with orphan-head households, consider making a $10/month donation. Click Here. We hope to find 100 listeners to join us in making monthly donations. | 5/6/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 98 – We are a Family | An exciting announcement from T & W and an update from D & K. They’ve got news about just about every kid they’ve cared for, some of it good and some of it sad. Catch up on their story. | 4/15/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 97 – No Quick Fix | T & W reflect further on the cross-cultural issues at home and continue to run into the roadblocks in helping hurt kids. We share some of the strategies we have tried for helping a very angry boy to handle his pain. Sometimes we don’t see hope of things getting better for a child, and interventions rarely work right away. Still, we trust that children can heal over time in the context of family and community. A high school production of “Beauty and the Beast” drives home a lesson for W about our kids. An “unbirthday” party doesn’t go so well for Luke (but maybe it really does). A listener who adopted a Filipino son helps us understand what we are really feeling about our Vietnamese sons. | 4/1/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 96 – Not My Birthday | T & W fill you in on the mess movie that is our lives. Life has been tough but not without its bright spots. The brightest has been Andrea’s birthday, but along with it came pain for Luke, who hasn’t celebrated a birthday in 3 years. We navigate this dilemma as well as the struggles of integrating the Vietnamese culture into our home. | 3/19/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 95 – Sibling Rivalry | T & W deal with the difficulty of having four kids with little emotional maturity and very few social skills. Sibling rivalry is the overwhelming issue in our home. We have tried some new techniques this week that seem to be working. We recap what life has been like over the last month and what tools we’re using to make things better. We read from this article by Heather Forbes, author of Beyond Consequences. We share our opinions about whether or not public schools are good for foster children and our experiences with navigating the system when kids have special educational needs. We also share how churches can support foster families. We mention this great audiobook, Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore, that is currently available for free at ChristianAudio.com. If you’re a Christian with any interest in adoption you should definitely grab it while you can. The book inspired T to write the following: When my foster son is taunted on the schoolyard with “You don’t have parents,” it is spiritual warfare; delivered from a cruel world that only reinforces everything his abusers have always told him. And when he prays to God and expresses his thanks for his foster family, it is his own battle cry; telling the world that he is loved and that the war . . . is about to turn. | 2/9/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 94 – A Bittersweet Celebration | D & K have some exciting news to share. Austin and Dillon are now free for adoption! Hear them share some cute stories about the boys and walk us through their “Termination of Parental Rights” hearing. Also an update on Tommy and Molly’s reunification. | 1/18/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 93 – Will Your Daughters Be Safe? | T & W tackle the issue of keeping our girls safe while bringing older (near teenage) foster sons into our home. Most of the episode is devoted to how everyone is doing with the new transition into a family of 6. Here is the Christmas card that we mention made by “Luke”. | 1/7/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 92 – But I Thought We Said No | Life and foster parenting take an unexpected turn for T & W. Tomorrow we welcome a new long term placement into our family. Listen in to learn more about Nolan and Luke. | 12/21/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 91 – What’s a Mommy and Daddy? | D & K begin a new phase in life with a new placement. They are two boys; Dillon and Austin. Hear about their transition from a different foster home into their potential forever family. D & K discuss their own transition from being the Mommy and Daddy for Tommy and Molly to their transition to the Mommy and Daddy for Dillon and Austin. | 11/29/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 90 – A New Starfish Story | Everyone seems to love the “Starfish Story” by Loren Eiseley. We’ve got a new take on this old classic and promise you’ll never see starfish the same way again. This is an episode you won’t want to miss; it matters to this one! Photo courtesy of OrangeCounty_Girl | 11/12/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 89 – Kids in Residential Treatment Centers | W interviews Rich Bobby, a social worker specializing in kids in residential treatment centers. They discus the differences between juvenile hall, group homes and residential treatment. This episode will help you discern if you’re prepared to help a child transition from residential treatment to a family. Also some great advice that can help you parent any child. You can follow Rich on twitter at http://twitter.com/RichardBobby | 10/21/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 88 – What if the Kids Are Taken Away? | K & W at Together for Adoption Conference W & K share a rare episode. They were both at the “Together for Adoption” Conference and recorded a podcast while they were there. W asks K about her emotions after reunifying Tommy and Molly with their birth mother. This is the episode to listen to if you’re worried about forming an attachment and then letting the kids go. We’d like to let our listeners know about another new podcast by foster parents. It’s called “The Journey“. They’ve got a unique story. We wish them the best as they begin podcasting and parenting. http://thejourneycast.com/ | 10/3/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 87 – Dealing with False Allegations | After a great many request, T & W found an education on false allegations. We discuss the 4 different types of allegations against foster parents as well as the differences between unfounded, inconclusive and substantiated. Listen in on how to avoid false allegations and what to do if you’re falsely accused. | 9/21/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 86 – Preparing for Reunification | D & K are preparing Tommy and Molly for their upcoming reunification with their birth mom. They discuss the increase in birth parent visits and how they’re feeling about the kids moving out of their home. Discover the deep-seated controversy that may rip their home apart (okay, not really). | 8/31/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 85 – What It’s Like to Get Adopted | A very special episode in which we interview our daughters Andrea and Linda. Make sure to catch our new “listener corner” jingle sent in by Dan, host of the new podcast “Fostering with Love“. Make sure to check out his show. http://fosteringwithlove.blogspot.com/ Here are the pictures mentioned in this episode. If you are going to look at the pictures while listening to the embedded player, we recommend you use the “Play in Popup” feature below. Clicking on a photo will open the image in your current window. | 8/16/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 84 – Ask a Social Worker | Our special guest, Amber, answers listener questions from the perspective of a county social worker in California. Topics include: What information should and should not be kept from a foster parent? Why does it feel like my social worker hates it when I ask questions? Getting along with your social worker Getting faster responses How often to expect visits from your social worker Advocating for your child Finding out about court dates and case progress What does a bio-family need to do in order to reunify? We’d like to especially thank Amber for spending her time answering our questions. To interact with Amber and other listeners, use the comment section. | 7/29/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 83 – Finding the Right Child for You | We explore the issues that surround finding the right child for you and your family. There are three important questions that should be seriously considered as you approach this important and delicate topic. We suggest a number of ways to prepare your life and your home for your child. | 7/19/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 82 – Results from Court | D & K give and update on their last court date with some unexpected results. They discuss what’s next for their family, how Molly and Tommy are handling things and how they emotional navigate “a crazy system.” | 6/29/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 81 – Court Date Approaching | D & K face the anxiety of an approaching court date that may terminate Tommy and Molly’s mother’s parental rights. This may mean that D & K will already be adopting. Hear how they’re facing the unknown and what they’ve been learning. The Detroit News recently did a story about the shortage of foster parents in Michigan. The article can be found here. | 6/10/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 80 – Getting Extended Family On Board | We answer a listener question on how best to get extended family involved in the life of foster children. Should you restrict contact at first in order to develop attachment with you first? What if your extended family isn’t crazy about adoption or foster care, how do you bring them along? | 5/22/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 79 – Tommy and Molly | D & K tearfully say good-bye to Scotty and hello to Tommy and Molly. Tommy is a newborn and Molly is almost two. Listen to how their lives have changed in the last month. | 4/23/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 78 – Birth Parent Visit | We experienced our first post-adoption visit with Andrea and Linda’s birth mother. Our first step into open adoption was a bit nerve-racking beforehand, but it went better than we expected. | 4/15/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 77 – Abuse In Foster Care | We respond to a recent news story about allegations of abuse within a foster care home. We’ve got some specifics ideas on what can prevent this kind of thing from happening and what YOU can do about it. The news story we reference can be found here. | 3/16/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 76 – A First Placement | D & K jump right into all of the awkwardness of being foster parents. From handling a little boy’s questions, to sitting in court with the birth parents, and turning down other placements. Within three weeks they’ve been exposed to a lot. | 2/24/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 75 – Responding to Questions | As D & K await their first placement they discuss how they’ve handled the inevitable questions that arise about their future as foster parents. Someone recently asked them perhaps the most shocking question we’ve ever heard. | 1/27/10 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 74 – Newly Licensed | We talked with a newly licensed pair of foster parents, “D” and “K” about what they’ve done to prepare for their new journey. | 12/22/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 73 – The Blind Side | We review “The Blind Side” and give a foster parent’s perspective on the movie. We liked the movie and think you should see it. Perhaps more importantly you might want to take family and friends who are apprehensive about foster care. Below is the trailer for the movie and a clip from “Mad TV” that we mention in the episode. | 12/16/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 72 – Settling In After Adoption | We’re back with a new episode. Linda has had her ups and downs since our adoption. We also requested an Individual Education Plan for Andrea. T gives his opinion on what the British will call the last decade and W once again humors his inane penchant for trivia. We answer a listener question from Kim on helping a bio-dad with a successful reunification. | 11/30/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 71 – Helping Foster Kids Succeed in School | A new school year has begun and we’re learning how to help our kids with their school work. We discuss reasons that children in the foster care system often have learning delays or fall behind in school, including social and emotional issues. One way that a parents can help their children is by requesting an Individual Education Plan. An IEP should be requested in writing. We also share more listener comments on how to prepare a foster child for an adoptive home. | 10/8/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 70 – Interview with Adoptive Parent Amy | We interview Amy, a fost-adopt parent who has had the experience of adopting four siblings consecutively. Her most recent adoption is being completed across state lines. Amy shares some personal experiences including infertility, pregnancy after adopting, and the death of a child. Also in this episode, we answer listener Kim’s question about how to help a foster child transition to his adoptive home. | 9/8/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 69 – Another Place At the Table | We give a review of “Another Place at the Table” by Kathy Harrison. It’s about the life of a pair of foster parents with some actual experience under their belts. We also briefly mention “Three Little Words: A Memoir” by Ashley Rhodes-Courter. In listener corner we share a comment to our last episode. You can read that comment and our response here. | 8/13/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 68 – Jeremy, Former Foster Child | We sit down and interview Jeremy, a former foster child, about his experiences in the system and any wisdom he can pass on to foster parents. We also give a brief review of “The Miracle Worker” and highly recommend watching it. At least watch this scene and catch the pay off line at the end of this scene; “the room is a wreck but her napkin is folded”. We identify with it a lot. | 8/2/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 67 – Adoption Day | We did it! We finally adopted our girls. This is our play by play of the day we’ve been working toward for the last 2 years. It’s finally come and gone. We tell you exactly what to expect from the courtroom and the judge when yo get to adopt your children. Celebrate with us and don’t forget to check out our special surprise here. | 7/18/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 66 – Choosing the Right Kids | A letter from listener Bonnie inspires this episode on choosing which kids to adopt. We also give advice on whether or not potential grandparents should get attached if the adoption status is unknown. Thanks Bonnie for your great letter. | 6/21/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 65 – Adoption Signing | We signed our adoption papers last week! Woo Hoo! We’re almost finished adopting Andrea and Linda. In this episode we discuss what the adoption signing process is like, what papers you actually sign and what changes for us at this stage in the journey. We’re now on the Adoption Assistance Program and the kids have new names. Don’t miss W’s special tribute to Punky Brewster. | 6/4/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 64 – The Open Adoption Experience | We recently read The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia. We found this book to be an excellent handbook for navigating open and semiopen adoption. Topics include boundaries between the adoptive family and the birth family; differences between fathers’ and mothers’ concerns; and expectations of birth parents. We also share a letter we wrote to our daughters’ birth mother and birth grandfather. | 5/22/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 63 – You Did Not Grow In My Heart | How long does it take to “get over” adoption? That’s a trick question. Every stage of a child’s life brings new challenges in understanding their own identity as an adopted individual. In this episode, we explore each stage and what parents can do to help their children process their experiences. Learn how to talk about adoption with your child, and why your child may feel like an alien if you try to tell him, “You grew in my heart.” We got some of our information from “Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self” by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schecter, and Robin Marantz Henig. We also discuss our recent experiences with poop smearing, temper tantrums and a broken arm. | 5/8/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 62 – Preventing Child Abuse | What happens when you pick up the phone to report child abuse? In honor of Child Abuse Prevention Month, we discuss the process of recognizing and reporting child abuse and neglect. Topics covered include: what to look for, children left home alone, mandated reporters, and the difference between physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. We refer to an online information packet at Child Welfare Information Gateway. Order a free Child Abuse Prevention Manual from Olive Crest. Save the phone number for the child abuse reporting line for your state. | 4/23/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 61 – A Conversation for Christians | In this episode we decide to have a conversation with Christians about Christianity (and foster care). If you're not a Christian, feel free to listen in on our "family" conversation. But we won't be offended if you're not interested. | 4/11/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 60 – Second Guessing | We discuss the seconds thoughts we have about a number issues over the last year. They include open adoption, termination of parental rights, two working parents and ending family therapy. | 3/27/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 59 – Foster Club and NFPA | We recommend you check out these two sites: Fosterclub.com – A social networking site for foster youth. NFPAonline.org – Stats, resources, scholarships, and support for foster parents. Listener Laura recommended we listen to this lecture on “The Racial Geography of Child Welfare” by Dorothy Roberts. We’re passing on the recommendation. It’s a good listen. | 3/13/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 58 – Racial Bias In Foster Care | Our thoughts on a report on racial bias in the Michigan foster care system. The news report we read excerpts from can be found at the Detroit News. The full report from the Center for the Study of Social Policy can be found here. | 2/27/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 57 – Love At First Sight | T and W explore the idea of “love at first sight” and discuss whether or not it’s possible in a fost/adopt situation. Also hear our thoughts on Andrea’s first romance and the theme for her upcoming birthday party. We also recommend this Nuclearity episode. | 2/12/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 56 – Blending a Family | Tim sits down with a friend and foster parent named Jim to talk about building a blended family with foster kids and bio kids. Jim and his wife Melanie are foster parents in Washington and have a unique story. Wendy says this is the episode to have your husband listen to. | 1/30/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 55 – Bye Bye Baby and Hello Big News | Baby Kay left our home today and we reflect on her time here, her future and what we did to say good bye. In addition we got some much anticipated news from our Social Worker | 1/15/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 54 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished | An update on our lives since Baby Kay entered our family. A new baby in our life has brought many new trials and taught us a thing or two about who we are. | 1/2/09 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 53 – Surprises | December has not turned out the way we expected. First, we had a car accident and totaled our family vehicle. Then, today, we accepted placement of a 9-month-old baby girl. The car accident brought up a discussion about grief and loss. We also touch on the triggers brought on by the holidays for foster children. Finally, 9-month-old Kay teaches us something central to the Christmas story. Here’s the link to the documentary listener Krysta told us about. Watch it! Where Children Find Hope Andrea’s drawing Linda’s Drawing | 12/19/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 52 – Bedtime: We’ve Tried Everything in the Book | Listener Laura asks us to name all of the things we’ve tried to help Linda to go to sleep. This episode went a little longer than even we expected. We mentioned the Sleep Lady. You can find more information about her here. We were recently interviewed by Hugh Duncan for his podcast Nuclearity. You can listen to our interview here. | 12/5/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 51 – Where We Are At | A general update on where our family is at and some recent stories that tell us we are making progress. | 11/20/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 50 – Forty Reasons We’re Adopting Through Foster Care | These are 40 of our own personal reasons to adopt through foster care. They’re not necessarily for you or anyone else, but they are what compels us. Celebrate National Adoption Month with us! | 11/5/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 49 – Ramona, Former Foster Child | Wendy takes time to interview our friend Ramona, who grew up in foster care. Coming soon: stay tuned for our National Adoption Month plans. Email with any of your adoption specific questions. | 10/23/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 48 – Start Preparing For Foster Parenting | So you want to be a foster parent, but not yet. What can you do with all that energy you’ve got? We give some practical advice for how to prepare yourself. Engagement Checklist: http://marriage.about.com/od/engagement/ss/engagedissues.htm A book on grief and loss we recommend: Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud. | 10/9/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 47 – UnAdoption | Can you “unadopt” a child? It sounds terrible, but we’ve known children whose adoption was dissolved by their adoptive parents AFTER the adoption was finalized. In this episode, we discuss adoption dissolution: why adoptions fail and how to ensure a successful adoption. Some links we found helpful during our research: Preventing dissolution of an adoption http://adoption.families.com/blog/parental-claiming-of-an-older-adopted-child Statistics on adoption disruption and dissolution http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/s_disrup.cfm Who pays for foster care when an adoption is dissolved? http://www.nacac.org/adoptionsubsidy/factsheets/childsupportenforcement.html | 10/1/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 46 – Emotional Triggers | The game “Uno” has a strange effect on our girls. We discuss it as well as what kind of questions Andrea and Linda have about their biological family and what answers we provide to them. | 9/14/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 45 – Our Apologies | Why we teach our kids to apologize and why we apologize to them. Also, we announce the winner of our trivia contest and reveal the answer. Wendy mentions these Bible references if you want to see what they say: Colossians 1:19-20 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 | 8/31/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 44 – Familiversary | We just celebrated our first full year with Andrea and Linda, or as we like to call it, our Familiversary. We offer the ten biggest surprises over the last year. Also, something for our listeners, a trivia contest! Win a prize. | 8/10/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 43 – Getting Your Kids to Fall in Love With You | We’ve started a new therapy program called Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). We’ve only been to two sessions with the girls but have found that this “proven” program really works. If you’d like to start using some of the skills we’re learning try using this acronym Praise appropriate behavior Reflect appropriate talk Imitate appropriate play Describe appropriate behavior Enthusiasm We also mention a daily ritual that we use in our marriage. The “5 A’s” Appreciation Affection Apologize Ask (what can I do for you tomorrow?) Amen (how can I pray for you?) | 7/29/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 42 – Two Working Parents | Can you foster kids while both parents work? Yes you can but it has some extra challenges. We discuss how we do it. Also an update on our chance encounter discussed in our last episode and a shout out to some strangers we met through our show. | 7/16/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 41 – Chance Encounter | Our 4th of July (err Independence Day) celebration brought about a chance encounter that we had hoped to avoid. It’s a foster parent nightmare come to pass. | 7/7/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 40 – Fost-Adopt Disruption | What’s a disruption? We give our thoughts on a fost-adopt placement that ends up getting reunified. This is not something we have experienced ourselves so we’d love to hear listener feedback. | 6/29/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 39 – Foster Care in the Media | We bemoan the bad wrap foster parenting tends to get in the media. We also offer up a review of the movie “Losing Isaiah” starring Halle Berry and Jessica Lange. Stay tuned for the end of this episode. We have a special treat for all of our listeners. You’ll want to hear it. | 6/20/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 38 – When Your Social Worker Doesn’t Return Calls | We discuss the very real problem of social workers who do not return calls. We offer advice and suggestions for getting them to call back with out suggesting a death in your home. | 6/14/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 37 – Courtroom Drama | We had three days in court this week. For once, there was an outcome. Listen for a play-by-play. “We receive enlightenment only in proportion as we give ourselves more and more completely to God by humble submission and love. We do not first see, then act; we act, then see. It is only by the free submission of our judgment in dark faith that we can advance to the light of understanding. And that is why the man who waits to see clearly before he will believe never starts on the journey.” Thomas Merton Mentioned in this episode: Scriptorium Daily “Beauty of Your Peace” by Tim Hughes | 5/31/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 36 – I Hate This, Thank You | Our extreme measures to get Linda to stay in bed have garnered some odd reactions from her. A relational benchmark was finally reached for T and Andrea. Also, we’re approaching (hopefully) another court date and we discuss what it will mean for our family. Also, shout outs to Catholic in a Small Town and Tupelo Catholic Podcast. Check out their shows. | 5/23/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 35 – You Can Do It | We discuss our impressions of mediation at this point in the process. We’re not too thrilled with how it has gone to this point. Wendy shares a story that has meant a lot to her in the last couple of weeks. Check out this video for more inspiration! We also appreciate our friends, Jon and Amber, over at Monster Cookies for the plug of our show. Check out their podcast. | 5/13/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 34 – Monitored Visits | What to expect at monitored visits. What are they? How often do they happen and why? We share why we prefer to be the monitors even though it exposes us to an awful lot of awkwardness with the birth family. Also: Wendy’s favorite new podcast: “Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility and Adoption” with Dawn Davenport Help us promote our podcast. Click here. | 5/6/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 33 – Why Our Kids Should See Their Birth Mom | We had some movement on the mediation process and it’s not looking so great. So with that in mind we review for ourselves, why we’re interested in post-adoption visits in the first place. | 4/26/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 32 – Mediation Is More Exciting Than It Sounds | We finally met with our mediator! So we share all the details about what that process is like. | 4/16/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 31 – Taking Foster Kids to Church | A question burning in the minds of all of our listeners, “Can you take foster kids to church?” We give you all the answers as we understand them. Listener Krysta gave us a heads up on this video that we think is a powerful explanation as to why adoption should be important to Christian. | 4/9/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 30 – Listener Comments | We tackle several of the listener comments that we have not had a chance to get into. A whole episode devoted to our listeners! We mention: Disney’s Enchanted A Mother for Choco Siberian Adoption Hotel | 3/28/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 29 – Talking with Young Children about Adoption | A book review of Talking with Young Children about Adoption by Mary Watkins and Susan Fisher. We also briefly mention Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-Needs Kids : A Guide for Parents and Professionalsby Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky. Watch out there is a return of the “Listener Corner” theme song! | 3/21/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 28 – Adopting Across Racial Lines | A good friend and regular listener questions something we said in the past about the appropriateness of adopting across racial lines. So we devote the full episode to that sensitive but pertinent topic. We refer to: The Multi-Ethnic Placement Act of 1994 Talking with Young Children about Adoption Considering Interracial Adoption by Carrie Craft | 3/14/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 27 – Embracing Special Needs | We had a bit of a “come to Jesus” discussion with our family therapist and are facing some tough realities. We also share what it was like to spend some time with the girls’ grandfather. Tuesday night was kind of like a Twilight Zone episode for us. It made us think of a skit on Saturday Night Live that you can see here. | 3/6/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 26 – Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control | We’re a couple of days late because sickness has struck our home. But we’re back with a review of Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors. The book is authored by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post. They have their own website at BeyondConsequences.com No, we’re not abandoning Love & Logic and Yes, we’re recommending this book. It’s a rare parenting book with a 2 week guarantee and it has helped us. You should check it out. Note: We’re not sure what’s up with the sound quality. Wendy was actually right next to the microphone and Tim was a couple of feet away. But it sounds exactly opposite of that. | 2/28/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 25 – Inside a Court Room | We had a big court date today. We’ve been quite worried about it for the last several days. There was good news and bad news. The bad news was that the hearing was postponed. The good news was that it was postponed so that we could meet Carmen with a mediator and work out post-adoption visitations. If we can come to an agreement we’ll be adopting Andrea and Linda! We’re not quite at the finish line yet, but we’re getting really close. This was fantastic news. We make sure to fill everyone in on the insides and outsides of a family services courtroom. For anyone who really cares. We start off talking about an 80′s song by Til Tuesday. You can see the video here. (which we found for free). Tim is a little disappointed that he didn’t already know it was an Aimee Mann song. | 2/19/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 24 – Odds of Getting a Placement | Andrea and Linda had a visit with their grandfather. The visit went great but the aftermath was not so great. Also Wendy left town for 3.5 days, find out how Tim did with them on his own once more. In this episode we offer our ideas on how to more easily get placed with kids. If you’re having a hard time getting kids placed in your home this episode just for you. | 2/11/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 23 – What Do Your Neighbors Think? | An update on Baby Janelle and our lives in general. We also review the National Foster Care Adoption Attitudes Survey produced by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. What are the common misconceptions Americans have about adoption and foster care? Tim also does an excellent job of sticking his foot in his mouth and alienating his relatives. Watch how he climbs out of the mess he makes for himself. | 1/30/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 22 – A Crazy System | So it turns out it’s true. It’s a crazy system. This episode presents more questions than answers, for us at least. It turns out that we may be having a baby! Within the next couple of days we’ll find out if Andrea and Linda’s sister, Janelle, will be joining us. We discuss our decision making process for what was a tough call for us. Also Andrea and Linda had a visit with their grandfather that didn’t go the way we hoped. | 1/24/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 21 – Angry Kids | We had a really pleasant week which included a trip the the Emergency Room and a lot of displays of flat out anger and aggression in our girls. To top it off, they’ve learned the “F” word. We give a shout out to Jana Alayra, the Children’s Worship Leader who taught our girls how to cuss (It wasn’t really her fault). Jana, if you’re out there we need you to come teach a couple of preschoolers what the real lyrics are. An update on our court date and what we can expect next. We also start a new feature called “Listener’s Corner”. Wait till you hear the jingle. | 1/15/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 20 – New Year, New Place, New Issues | We’re back after a long delay. We’re finally in our new place and facing new struggles as a result. We’ve got some funny stories to share as well We mention De Facto Parenting status in this episode. Here’s a link that discusses it further. What is a De Facto Parent? | 1/7/08 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 19 – Being the “Other” Mommy | W is alone again and takes the opportunity to talk candidly about motherhood. Andrea and Linda still have visits with their birth mother. So how does it feel to be the “other” mommy? Also discussed: Visits with biological parents Our next court date The desire for biological children | 12/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 18 – Moving with Foster Children | Here are some special considerations when you move with foster children. Moving is stressful, but you can ease the transition with some planning and TLC. Also discussed: Should 3-year-olds be watching The Wizard of Oz? More tips on moving with children: How to Make It Easier For Them 10 Tips for Relocating with Kids | 12/2/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 17 – Thankfulness | This episode is about being grateful and gratitude. It’s also about how you won’t hear those expressions from foster kids. We mentioned these other websites: An article by Carrie Craft The Project Management Podcast by Cornelius Fichtner Why Children May Not Want To Talk About Adoption | 11/15/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 16 – Why Adopt Through Foster Care? | We try to make our best case for why you should adopt through foster care. We start out with some fundamentals that influence our thinking and then list our 8 best reasons to adopt through the foster care system. There is plenty of data about the harmful effects orphanages have on children. Here is one of many links. http://www.nacac.org/policy/orphanages.html A family is always better than an institution. | 11/8/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 15 – Fostering Teenagers | Our brief experience fostering teenage girls is discussed in all of its glory. We didn’t have a positive experience but we still think it’s a great idea to foster teenagers. Hopefully someone can learn from our experience (most of all us). We should also be clear, as always, that Michael, Beth and Clare are not their real names. | 10/23/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 14 – Choose the Right Agency | In this episode we respond to some listener feedback and answer how we think you should go about choosing the right agency. In this episode we talk about: Foster vs. Fost/adopt Returning your Calls Location Shared Values Other Foster Parents and much more | 10/18/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 13 – What We’ve Done Right | We talk about what we’ve done right or “the shortest episode ever.” In this episode we talk about: The Snack Bin Don’t buy into the chaos Animals and attachment The Picture Wall Clearing our schedules | 10/11/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 12 – Parenting with Love and Logic | We use Love and Logic, a parenting approach that – you guessed it – emphasizes two things: love and logic. In this episode we talk about: Parenting With Love And Logic. Buy the book! The basics of Love and Logic: choices, consequences and empathy Why Love and Logic is effective with foster children Examples from our experiences with kids, ages 3 to 18 | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 11 – Discipline, Spanking and Time-outs. | Wendy’s back behind the microphone, so no shenanigans this week. In this episode we talk about: The difficulties the girls had while Wendy was away The difference between discipline and punishment Can you spank foster kids? The difficulties we have making the girls sit through a time-out | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 10 – Community | Wendy is out of town, so Tim hosts the podcast by himself but he’s got 2 special guest with him! In this episode we talk about: The need for community in the life of a foster parent. His Children, an organization that helps churches develop foster care ministries Special things Wendy did for the girls while she is away. | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 9 – When Are You Going To Have Your Own Kids? | The second most question we are asked is “when are you going to have your own kids?” We struggle with how to answer this question. You can hear our thoughts on why. In this episode we talk about: Why we’re troubled by an innocent question Consider Birth Order Foster kids are always expected to bend | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 8 – Gifts for Foster and Adoptive Families | We’ve had some questions about what are good gifts to give to foster kids. Please, we’re not asking for anything! In this episode we talk about: Good and bad reasons to give Gifts that welcome a child Gifts that show solidarity | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 7 – Nobody Saw THAT Coming | We got a surprise this week that may change the course of our lives. In this episode we also talk about: Reporting child abuse Dora the Explorer freebies Holding time (read an article on holding time here) | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 6 – Be A Good Daddy | We talk about how important it is for foster kids to have good daddies. We talk about: The need to counteract bad fathers in foster kids’ lives Giving hugs Foster dads who get dragged into by their wives Telling girls they are pretty. John and Stasi Eldredge: Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul Calming Andrea’s mania | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 5 – The First Week of Placement | We’ve completed our first week of placement with Andrea and Linda. We had lots of appointments and set up lots of different services for the girls. | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 4 – Don’t You Get Attached | Andrea and Linda have moved into our home! If you’re only going to listen to one episode, this is the one to listen to. We talk about: The #1 question we’re asked about foster parenting The problem of attachment 40% of people in homeless shelters were once foster kids! How to pray for Andrea and Linda’s mom, Carmen Tim makes a reference to a bad 80′s movie | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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CleanEpisode 3 – Overnight Visit | We’ve met them! It didn’t take long to fall in love. This episode is about: First night: Playing with My Little Pony at the county facility Second night: Going out for milkshakes Third night: An overnight visit in our home Plus, the pros and cons of being certified through a Foster Family Agency | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Episode 2 – Waiting | It’s our second shot at this thing. We’re waiting on the County placement worker to talk with us, see our home and approve us This episode is about: Waiting and being evaluated Tantrums Decorating for girls Dating ages for teenage girls | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
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116 |
Episode 1 – Meet T and W | Our first episode. We talk about the kids we’ve had in our home and the kids that are about to enter our home. This episode is a little bit about us, plus: Why are kids in foster care? What’s the difference between “foster” and “fost/adopt?” Which kids are coming into our home? Who the heck are Andrea and Linda? | 10/6/07 | Free | View In iTunes |
| Total: 116 Episodes |
Customer Reviews
A must listen for all future and presant foster/adoptive parents
This pod cast is great. It is put to geather well, with a good mix of education, fun, and real life experiance. I would recomend it to any one thinking about or is currently a foster parent as well as other parrents. Thanks Tim and Wendy for a great show.
Learning a lot
This is great! I'm neither a Christian nor a foster parent but learning a lot about how to relate to kids and understand the foster care system from this podcast. I really appreciate Tim and Wendy's approach and respect their values.
Informative, funny and warm.
Despite the fact that I'm an atheist and a not a parent (yet, but I do hope to pursue adoption or foster parenting at some point), I love Tim and Wendy's podcast. They share their joy, love, frustration and hardships with their audience as though they are sitting with friends in their living room or kitchen over tea. As a nanny and former preschool assistant, I find the information they share very useful in real life and my boyfriend and I talk about the topics they bring up in preparation for eventually having children. I really recommend this podcast for anyone who has children involved in their life.
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