Bachelor Party

Everything’s on hand for the biggest, baddest, most bangin’ boys’ night out ever. The buddies, the bad jokes, the big glasses that seem to keep magically refilling themselves . . . what more could a bachelor bash need? Oh yeah — tunes to turn the terror of freedom’s final bow into a loose, loud, larger-than-life license to party! When you’re unlikely to remember anything tomorrow morning, that’s the best time to buy into R. Kelly’s slow ’n’ slinky philosophy: ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little “Bump N’ Grind.” And while you’re busy bumpin’ it out there on the floor, bake your hip-shake in those Big Boi beats with OutKast’s work-that-wiggle-over-here heat-seeker “The Way You Move.” Even if you end up flat on your butt, it’s all good, as long as you remember pop-metal madmen Poison’s mission statement, “Nothin’ But a Good Time.”

In Next Steps, start unleashing your inner wild man with heavy-breathing hard rockers and hot-stepping hip-hop.

Now the party’s pumping. You and your boys have reached the point where you’re high-fiving so hard your hands are sore, and even the “quiet guy” in the crew is doing his best MC Hammer dance — without any pants — to tell the world “U Can’t Touch This.” Who would have imagined that wedding prep would involve this batch of bachelor partiers staging their own version of the choppers-and-chicks video for Mötley Crüe’s hard-rockin’ hit “Girls, Girls, Girls?” If it all seems to put your head in a spin, don’t sweat it — by the time you and your buddies are swinging your mugs in the air and bellowing along at maximum lung power to Joe Cocker’s juiced-up take on “With a Little Help from My Friends,” you’ll know you’re in the right place.

Separate the men from the boys with the disco thump and bluesy boogie you’ll discover in Deep Cuts.

You’re bleary-eyed from a night of bidding bachelorhood goodbye, and your archenemy, the sun, is creeping dangerously close to its daily debut. Time to make one last stand for the single life — let blues doctor John Lee Hooker write a boogie-in-a-bottle prescription to get you past the point of no return with “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.” Now the slow-rolling flow of “Tipsy” is starting to make it seem like T-Pain’s peeking inside your head somehow. And what, exactly, is it that your buddies seem to find so damn funny about playing Queen’s bass-boosted dance-floor dynamo “Another One Bites the Dust” over and over anyway?

Whether you’re working up the nerve for a walk to the altar, or saying, “So long, sucker!” — that’s “Good luck, buddy!” in Bachelorese — to a pal whose single status is quickly slipping away, you can’t get a decent — or indecent — last hurrah of hedonism off the ground without the right soundtrack. Amid all the back-slapping, bottle-clinking, and babe-watching (not to mention the rest of the Ten Commandments of Bachelor Parties), you want the kind of tunes that can loosen you up long enough to play the fool and laugh long and hard at it all if you can still remember it on that murky morning after. We’ve got your back on this one: From monsters of metal to hip-hop hound dogs and R&B-bumping bad boys, we’ve called in all the reinforcements you’ll need for the ultimate bachelor blowout.