Guns N' Roses

The next time someone doubts the fire-when-ready arsenal of Guns N’ Roses, feel free to blast any of the following songs. Whether we’re talking about the creeping chords and hellish howls of “Welcome to the Jungle,” the sweeping strings and popcorn-movie melodrama of “November Rain,” or an absolutely killer Bob Dylan cover (“Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door”), everyone within earshot will be swinging an invisible mic within seconds . . . and wishing they had the same top hat as Slash. If that isn’t enough to make you wanna hit the Sunset Strip with your hair teased and your jeans torn, our Next Steps will give you a kick in the you-know-what before you can say, “Whisky a Go Go.”

Let’s take a look at the numbers first: Guns N’ Roses has sold more than 100 million albums worldwide. Luck’s got nothing to do with it either. Like the Beatles and the Stones before them, it’s all about the songs with GNR, from the many orchestral-metal movements of “Estranged” to the guitar-guided temper tantrums of “Dead Horse.” And if you’re wondering where all of this came from, The Spaghetti Incident? is a bottle-smashing guide to the band’s influences, including the Damned (“New Rose”), Nazareth (“Hair of the Dog”), and Rocket from the Tombs (“Ain’t It Fun”). So while yesterday’s got nothing for Axl, it’s left a hell of a lot for the rest of us.

Here’s the thing about Guns N’ Roses: Axl Rose could’ve taken three decades to deliver Chinese Democracy and we’d still consider him one of the most important, and iconic, frontmen of all time. And the rest of the band? Well, let’s just say there’s a reason we crank “Live and Let Die,” “You Could Be Mine,” and anything Appetite For Destruction-related every time the group turns up in our iTunes library. As for cuts like “Don’t Cry,” “Patience,” and “Civil War,” well, they’re songs you sing along to — badly — because you don’t have a choice; because the power of the rock commands you to scream at your speakers and/or sling an air guitar like Slash.