How to Disappear Completely
By Myke Bartlett
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Podcast Description
In this podiobook: The Terrible Business of Salmon & Dusk collection, book 1Part film noir detective story, part fantasy adventure, part East End gangster tale, How to Disappear Completely concerns Theo Braithwaite, a failed actress and worse waitress, becoming involved in an unseen world populated by history's rejects and runaways from a secret society known as The Footmen. A stranger to London, waiting for life to come and find her, she is instead found by a part-time thief called Kilbey Salmon who, along with his rockabilly-obsessed partner, is attempting to eke out a living stealing things that have already been stolen and finding people who don't want to be found.An episodic narrative, Kilbey and Nero's capers will drag Theo through the forgotten parts and people of London, hunted by ancient sects, carnivorous shadows, cannibalistic butchers and off-duty policemen. Along the way she'll meet the Eternal Footmen, blow up Hammersmith Bridge, reach the end of history and quite possibly disappear completely.If Theo is to survive, she'll need to get her life sorted before all of our futures catch up with her.
| Name | Description | Released | Price | ||
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1 |
1. 1. The Grey Men - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo arrives late to her last morning of employment at the Camden Cafe, with little idea that life is about to take a sharp detour. London is about to surprise her - at last! - just not in the way she'd been expecting. For a start there are | 2/7/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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2 |
2. 2. Pale Ghosts - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo makes a friend, an enemy and an ex-boyfriend. Over several glasses of wine, secrets are revealed. 'There are ghosts here, y'know? In the brickwork, down the drain. But they're shy, right? They don't come out for just anyone. They know b | 2/6/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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3 |
3. 3. The Last Train - How to Disappear Completely | In which taking the last train home leads Theo into a darker world than even that she knew to exist underground. With phantoms crawling from the walls, help arrives in the form of a drunken stranger - Kilbey Salmon: tall, dark and utterly improbable. | 2/5/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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4 |
4. 4. The Grieving Girlfriend - How to Disappear Completely | In which we uncover the terrible business of Salmon and Dusk. A beautiful woman makes Kilbey an offer he politely declines, but he takes on her case regardless. While Nero fumes about the car's lack of central heating, Kilbey plans to track down a lo | 2/4/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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5 |
5. 5. The Albion - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo is taken to a underground bar in a Camden toilet and Kilbey meets a punter. Nero talks about time travel and cab routes, while the barman puts the decline of the nation down to the rise of the theme pub. By the way, just who are The Ete | 2/3/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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6 |
6. 6. Nation of Shopkeepers - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo sinks further into Albion while Kilbey and Nero do a spot of shopping. Encountering the unsavoury gaze of the Meatmarketers and a Shopkeeper who would prefer they took their business elsewhere, the three begin their hunt for a stolen bo | 2/2/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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7 |
7. 7. The Thief, The Butchers and The Wardrobe - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey and Theo drive into a stranger's cellar to steal some ashes, only to interrupted by some unsavoury sorts with the same idea. Not everyone here will get out alive. Or at all. | 2/1/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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8 |
8. 8. An Open Book - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero heads to Soho for a dodgy book and finds more than he'd bargained for. | 1/31/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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9 |
9. 9. Breakfast at the Greasy Spoon - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey and Theo share breakfast and a few secrets, while Nero has some surprises to bring to the table. All three are about to discover that if the food doesn't kill them, there are plenty about willing to give it a shot. | 1/30/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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10 |
10. 10. Close of Business - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey and Nero gather new enemies and a few bruises. The location of the stolen book is discovered and this terrible business reaches a worse conclusion. | 1/29/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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11 |
11. 11. Retracing Her Steps - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo deals with a bad hangover, untidy flatmates, a misplaced wallet and a lover with a bad case of amnesia. Surely Saturdays used to be more straightforward? | 1/28/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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12 |
12. 12. Terror At Tesco - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo worries she is being followed by stalkers, known by evangelists and slowly becoming invisible. When her biggest concern should be how many bottles of red she can drink in an evening, a trip to the supermarket takes a surreal and terrify | 1/27/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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13 |
13. 13. A Life of Diminishing Returns - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero gambles on finding a drugdealer and lucks out with a threatening vicar while Kilbey has an early night. | 1/26/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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14 |
14. 14. You Are The Quarry - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo falls into someone else's bad dream and a trip to Oxford Circus takes a strange and worrying turn. | 1/25/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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15 |
15. 15. A House on the River Fleet - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey drives dangerously, Nero hikes across London and Theo spends a night on the river. | 1/24/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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16 |
16. 16. Nobody's Daughter - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey finds his man and spills his drink. Theo is briefly impressed by his professionalism but quickly realises when things seem straightforward, there's been some misunderstanding. | 1/23/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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17 |
17. 17. Seconds/Thoughts - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero hatches a plan, Kilbey smells a rat and Theo has some doubts. | 1/22/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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18 |
Chapter 18: A Handful of Nothing - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey and Theo find a dead girl while Nero plays a dud hand. | 1/21/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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19 |
Chapter 19: You Never Wash Up After Yourself - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo swaps death and danger for dirty dishes while Nero discovers he has a bad head for heights. With time on his hands, Kilbey digs up some old memories. | 1/20/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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20 |
20. 20: Strange Cargo - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey and Nero hunt hounds for a Vegan Terrorist, while dark things are stirring on a London Council Estate. | 1/19/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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21 |
21. 21: Black's Proposal - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo tries to return a gift, Kilbey is given a challenge he can't refuse and spirits start to walk the corridors of a London Council Estate. | 1/18/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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22 |
22. 22: Black Magic - How to Disappear Completely | In which something unpleasant washes up in a canal, Kilbey buys some milk and Theo witnesses an exorcism in a council flat. | 1/17/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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23 |
23. Church of Chaos - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero goes looking for people he never wanted to see again, Theo visits a girl who speaks in other people's voices and Kilbey meets a priest while shopping for a hangover. | 1/16/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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24 |
Chapter 24: Voices in the Darkness - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo wakes up somewhere strange with something stranger and Kilbey seeks Black's help to track her down. | 1/15/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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25 |
Chapter 25 - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero comes home and his troubles begin, while Kilbey and Theo get to the bottom of their latest mystery. In the process, Kilbey issacrificed to some hungry shadows. | 1/14/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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26 |
Chapter 26: The Disappearance of Nero Dusk - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero wakes twice and still finds bad news, while Kilbey and Theo see a reverse-psychic who tells them things are worse than they thought. | 1/13/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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27 |
Chapter 27: Tempus Fugit - How to Disappear Completely | In which Theo and Kilbey head south to turn themselves in, sort of, while Nero flees west but doesn't make it far. Death, Monks, explosions, surprises and revelations abound as "How to Disappear Completely" begins to hurtle towards its conc | 1/12/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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28 |
Chapter 28: Everything In Its Right Place - How to Disappear Completely | In which Kilbey proves he's not just a pretty face, while Theo casts her eye over the text of her life and finds it dull reading. At least there's plenty of surprises and excitement going on around her. | 1/11/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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29 |
Chapter 29: End of the Family Line - How to Disappear Completely | In which Nero tends his bruises, Theo worries about trapdoors and Kilbey meets an old, dead friend. Revelations abound in this, the penultimate chapter of 'How to Disappear Completely.' | 1/10/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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30 |
Chapter 30: World\'s End - How to Disappear Completely | In which the end of History is reached and London falls to dust. From a thousand feet above, Theo and Kilbey are faced with some difficult decisions and - for one of them - a fatal injury. Ghosts, rockabilly and devastation on an unimaginable scale a | 1/9/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| Total: 30 Episodes |
Customer Reviews
Absolutely the best Podiobook in existence!
I'm surprised that this book has not received more attention. This is absolutely the best podiobook that has been released (and I have listened to a large number. The story is extremely well-written and develops slowly drawing the listener into the characters. It is very intelligently written and extremely well performed. Myke's voice and reading is style is the best that I have heard on any of the podiobooks. His wit and humor are easy to relate to - especially for those who are well-travelled. I can't wait for Myke's future books. Both this one and Electricity are unique in the podsphere and I expect will gain a strong following in future years.
Increases Productivity!!!
This is a story that carries a compelling momentum right through to the end, and Myke's performance gets better and better as the chapters progress: great storytelling, diverse and interesting characterizations, and a moving emotional presence. Plus!! I mindlessly completed an incredible number of home-projects by listening to episode after episode. Thanks, Myke... my apartment's new color scheme is brilliant!
Superb on several levels
Wonderful story, imaginative, dark, funny. illuminating. The characters become real; I cared about them. Most of all, the writing is excellent. Mr. Bartlett has a solid command of language and phrasing. He describes just enough to allow the readers imagination to fill in the blanks unlike the current trend of infinite, boring detail. I will listen to this again. It is so rich I know I will pick up ideas I missed the first time.
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