My Morning Story
By My Morning Story
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Podcast Description
Every week Matteo from My Morning Story goes over the stories of the week and reads a few of them for your listener enjoyment each week. We are always looking for Volunteers at My Morning story, so feel free to contact us and find out how!
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1 |
ExplicitP***ks and Pones | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/PricksandPones-300x152.jpg)When the judge called for the defendant to be brought in, a curtain of gasps and whispers from both sides of the aisle preceded him. Detective Stoole turned to see what the all the commotion was about, and nearly spat his tongue out when he saw the defendant's face. The man was black and blue all over his head, the left eyelid swollen and hanging over his cheek like the top of a soggy portobello mushroom. His jaw was veered to the right, and as he creaked his mouth open painfully with each step, the Detective could see he was even missing a few teeth. A prison guard had to hold the man steady as he walked up the courtroom to his attorney. Stoole, mouth still wide open, spun to look at Warden Billingsley, who was standing just a few rows down from him. Billingsley raised his eyebrows and smiled widely back at him, and then conspiratorially rubbed his nose. Detective Stoole held his hands out, palms up, and mouthed something at him. The Warden's smile didn't fade, but he mouthed back, "What?" Detective Stoole walked down swiftly and stood next to the Warden. "What the hell have you done to him?" he asked, quickly but hushed. The Warden couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh from deep in his belly. "Ah, don't worry, Detective, none of it will come bite us." The Detective looked at him still puzzled. "But--why? What did you have to beat him up like that for?" At this, the smile on the Warden's face turned into an annoyed frown. "Damn pervert, Stoole. He got what was comin'. Come, this isn't the first time you've seen this. I mean--what if it was your child, huh? It's a good thing you caught him, too. But you should know all that--you're the one who charged him." Detective Stoole was utterly confused. What the hell was Billingsley talking about? "But it--it wasn't that bad," he whispered. "Uh, I think," snorted Billingsley, "I think I know what's bad, and what's just utterly sick, Mr. Detective," he said, tapping a wad of paper that was folded in his pocket. It was a copy of the arresting charge that Stoole had filed. Stoole snatched the document from the Warden's pocket and unfolded it quickly. He scanned through the details, and then he grew very still. "Oh s**t," he said, "oh s**t, oh s**t". Warden Billingsley peered back at him. "What?" Stoole looked back. "The charge. It was supposed to be 'Downloaded porn illegally'," he said, "not 'Downloaded illegal porn'". | 1/25/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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2 |
ExplicitWhat About Emilio? | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/WhatAboutEmilio-300x152.jpg)With his brother, Charlie (Carlos Irwin Estevez), receiving more press than the 5th largest earthquake on record, I can’t help but wonder: what’s up with Emilio Estevez? Why did two careers which started on such similar paths end up so desparate? And, more poignantly, are we focusing on the wrong Sheen (Estevez)? The answer to the last question is two-fold: of course and why not. America likes turbulence, pyrotechnics.The brothers both essentially started as extras in the classic Francis Ford Copula film, Apocalypse Now, which starred their father, Martin Sheen. Three years older, Emilio found fame a bit sooner than Charlie with The Brat Pack in two quintessential 80’s films: The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo’s Fire. Before that he played “Two-Bit” in The Outsiders beside big-time Los Angeles luminaries Tom Cruise, Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, and the late Patrick Swayze.Charlie didn’t garner much attention until Ferris Bueller’s sister got hot for him in the police station scene. He played a drugged out teen. Portentous? Was Abe Lincoln honest? Sheen gained critical acclaim and commercial recognition later that year as one of the leads in Oliver Stone’s gripping Vietnam drama, Platoon. His next big success came the year after with Wallstreet, alongside a delightfully greedy Gordon Gekko (Micheal Douglas).The brothers entered the 90’s at roughly the same level of fame and popularity. Emilio was fresh off a successful role as Billy the Kid in Young Guns, and Charlie had fared well as a wild pitcher in Major League. Their personal lives, however, began to diverge. In 1990, the two joined forces in the hapless film, Men at Work. That year, Charlie accidentally shot Kelley Preston in the arm. They were engaged at the time. Not surprisingly they never married. Emilio already had two children with model Carey Salley, whom he never shot, accidentally or otherwise.Sheen began dating adult film actresses. Estevez was briefly engaged to Demi Moore; the two remain friends. Sheen was implicated in the Heidi Fleiss scandal, while Estevez married ostensible good-girl, Paula Abdul (they divorced two years later). Emilio made a kids’ film: The Mighty Ducks; Charlie made a spoof: Hot Shots!The rest of the decade saw the brothers’ fame dwindle with banal sequels: D2: The Mighty Ducks for Emilio, and Hot Shots! Part Deux for Charlie. But while Emilio tended to his garden and vineyard, Charlie was hospitalized for cocaine use and ended up in rehab.Since 2000, Charlie has no doubt become the more popular brother. His short stint on the TV series, Spin City, and of course, his massive success with Two and a Half Men, has made him the Lebron James of television—a pseudo-villain everyone wants to watch. Meanwhile, Emilio quietly wrote, directed, and starred in one of the best films of 2006, Bobby, a fictionalized account of the events leading to the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. The movie’s incredible cast included Laurence Fishburne, Heather Graham, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Hunt, William H. Macy, Christian Slater, Sharon Stone, and Elijah Wood.I will spare you the run-through of recent controversies and outrageous quotes coming from Charlie. Tune in to E! for the latest. I will mention Charlie has been accused of violence by two of his former wives, pleading guilty to one count of misdemeanor assault. Emilio seems clean as a whistle.So why do I get 506,000,000 hits when I Google Charlie Sheen, but when I do the same for Emilio Estevez I get 406,000? Well…one would obviously rather have Emilio watch the kids, but it depends on one’s disposition with which brother you’d rather have a drink and shoot the breeze. My choice? If it’s wine, I’ll take Emilio, but if you’re talking scotch and a cigar…it’s Carlos every time. by Jason Raymond | 1/16/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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3 |
ExplicitDon’t like it? Don’t be an idiot | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/DontlikeitDontbeanidiot-300x152.jpg)If you don’t like it, don’t be an idiot There’s something about finding out random strangers happen to appreciate a fandom that drives people into rages they’d be arrested for if they were in public. Here’s a news flash that shouldn’t have to be news: throwing a temper tantrum and insulting people does not make you smart or a better person. Being smart and acting like a better person does. Basics Don’t let the basics of writing slip you by, especially when your rage is directed at something as silly as a show or book. No one is even going to read what you write if you can’t prove you’ve passed kindergarten with the way you type. Yes, people make mistakes, but intentionally writing like you’re three will just tell people to treat you as if you’re three. You don’t like it is not enough For some reason, it’s an easy thing to forget that just because you don’t like something, it’s not a reason to force others not to like it. You’d easily say that someone who hates someone for their orientation, sex, gender, skin color, religion, or national origin should be called a jackass. Yet, when you demean someone for something even more petty, you forget that doing so makes you even more of a jackass. If you think that ‘because I don’t like it’ is a reason something should not exist, then someone else has the same right to believe what they don’t like should not exist. Imagine a stranger coming into your home and changing your TV channel and saying ‘ don’t like that, so you shouldn’t watch it.’ You’ve justified that kind of behavior by demanding your opinions are the only right ones Be objective and give proof If you want to show that something is wrong with a show or story, you don’t just need a reason, you need to back it up. You need facts to prove your statements. People miss things, people don’t notice them, people don’t learn them, people forget things, people confuse things, etc. But they won’t believe that happened unless you provide proof You also need to approach things in an unbiased manner. They are going to like fandom no matter what. What endears is to them will stick with them no matter what you say. Just as it’s easy to doubt a statement without facts to back it up, it’s easy to doubt facts if they are used to back up something biased. Use real logic Don’t let yourself fall victim to idiocy that looks like common sense and intelligence. Be careful about logical fallacies. Anyone with half a brain can figure these out and when they are spotted, they destroy the credibility of everything you say. The reason they work is because they twist words to look like they make sense at first. Take for instance, a hasty generalization. You say that all fanfiction is bad and list reasons. Someone you complain to notices there is at least one fanfiction in existence that does not qualify. They wonder why they should believe anything you say if your list of reasons is now a complete lie. Don’t evade Don’t pretend questions asked or statements made by others has no merit due to the fandom they like. It is not mature, it is cowardly. If you are trying to convince someone of something, you are trying to educate. A teacher answers questions. They point out the answer with reasons why it’s the answer. They point out flaws in statements and say why they are flaws. How much would you trust a teacher that never answered a question you had? Perhaps their wording was strange, perhaps you were confused, perhaps you didn’t quite get it yet. Would you think they are good at teaching if they never helped? Do your research As bad or unintelligent as you may think a fandom is, there will always be a smart fan. People are often smart in different areas of intelligence. For instance, many people can | 1/9/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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4 |
ExplicitThe river | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/Theriver-300x152.jpg)The river was thick with silt that day; Truly muddy waters. The air was clean and the trees were various shades of orange. Birds were singing a few of the seasons last songs as fallen foliage crunched under foot. Under dressed as always I shivered against the cold and tried my damnedest to rub away the goose bumps. The perfectly blue sky providing virtually no heat this time of year. None of this however affects my young blonde friend. Kind of a short, stocky guy with a sunny disposition you couldn't beat away with a stick. He's a good many years younger than I, but the wife doesn't mind me bringin' 'em around which is pretty rare these days. He can't drive worth a damn worth so I chauffeur him in and out of town and to places like this particular river bend. A place where I sneak a mid after noon smoke while my friend takes a jog to admire the sights, sounds and smells of nature. We usually stop and admire the beauty our small town provides for about a half an hour before we retire to my place for a good meal and some football. There was something wild in his eye today. I could tell there was something I could never understand rattling around up there somewhere. He had been doing wind sprints when a red tailed hawk let out a call as it passed over head. My friend looked over his shoulder just long enough to run blindly into the river. He was out in a shot and on the bank staring at the river in a state of utter betrayal. I could only laugh at the poor guy; not the brightest dog I ever had; but the wife lets me bring 'em around, even if he's gotta ride in the back of the pick up sometimes. | 12/21/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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5 |
Explicitsweat shop | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/sweatshop-300x152.jpg)The day was long and slow; a tortes race as one of my coworkers insists on calling it. The monotony of my factory labors that afternoon hung on me like thousands of over packed saddle bags. My back was tight and sore; forever the poor pony who hauled a cowboy one fence post too far. My hooves steel toed but not nearly as strong. My eyes impermeable and yet not far reaching. Ears literally stuffed with a plastic designed to retard one of my most important censes. Finger dexterity all but lost beneath thick leather gloves. The taste of de-galvanizing fluid had been adhered to my taste buds for over 14 hours. The smell of us all was acrid and even clung to our cars. Our weekly visits to the bank were not anticipated. Tellers always an extra foot from the counter; rarely making eye contact. A line of defeated laborers stretches well beyond the door towards the parking lot where cars jockey for position in the eternally slow drive through lane; but at least they get to sit down. The rest, we stand; and wait for the feed envelope. $247.58, every week. Just enough to keep a horse healthy. Invisible saddle always strapped on. Then the stampede heads to the watering whole. Filling the cars; then standing in line with large rectangular boxes of vital alcohaulic fluids for ourselves. The teller again an extra step away. Then we roam on paved pastures; bleary eyed towards where ever we call home. A few hours pass. A few naps, and we all wind up at the same spot we left off at and start on a down a fence that never ends; always needs middle management mends, but on which we all depend. | 12/15/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
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6 |
ExplicitThe Genocide of Arcades | (http://www.mymorningstory.com/wp-content/uploads/TheGenocideofArcades-300x152.jpg)Seriously, what is the world coming to? Roasted tomatoes on my WHITE pizza, shoppers getting pepper-sprayed over a f*****g video game, that video from Heart2Heart, and c... | 12/11/11 | Free | View In iTunes |
| Total: 6 Episodes |
Customer Reviews
Awesome Story
I really enjoyed this story! It was very smart and funny. Good Job!
Absolutely Funny
This was an originally a possessed LOST freak like myself, but he has always been absolutely funny! love listening to his stories! Whats even better is, anyone can submit a story, ( even you ) and it ll become a podcast in the future. Think of Bar stories, or Drinking stories, that you love telling! this is the Podcast for you!
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