The S&M Rants
By Shane Birley & Monica Hamburg
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Podcast Description
The S&M Rants Podcast is a weekly podcast where Shane Birley and Monica Hamburg talk about weird and amusing stuff.
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ExplicitEpisode 54 - Double Your Pleasure with Double the Felony! | Gals, they can be a handful. Especially when they insist on stabbing you with your decorations during a relaxing evening or setting fire to your home every time you break up. This week we are thankful we can talk to Comedian Darcy Michael and get him to figure out our "FT of the Week". And: joining us in the "studio" is another lovely guest,"Scarborough Dude". Plus: A strawberry-flavored erotic story. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guests Find Darcy Michael at DarcyMichael.com, on Facebook (Facebook.com/theDarcyMichael) and on Twitter (@thedarcymichael) Download his new standup special, "One Skinny Bitch"! (shopdarcymichael.com) And our studio guest, "Scarborough Dude", can be found at: dicksnjanes.blogspot.ca. Other Joy Stories: burning down the house gal, seashell stabber. Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ("Jarvic 8"). He has lots of cool royalty-free music, so check it out. Want more crazy chicks? There's a lovely gal on Episode 31: "Fake Fake a Rape to Move to a Better Neighborhood or a Mugging to Placate Your Wife!" with Jay Larson. Last week, we had some criminals whose violence was triggered by sexy talk and cat pee... "Episode 53 - Hell Hath No Fury Like a Man With a Peed-on Computer or a Buddy Who's Had More Sex" - with Matt Davis. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 5/25/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 53 - Hell Hath No Fury Like a Man With a Peed-on Computer or a Buddy Who's Had More Sex | Things that might push you over the edge: Getting fired, your partner breaking up with you, a cat urinating on your computer, arguing about how much sex you have. Wait, what were those last two? This week's FTs are a baffling bunch - and the extra weirdness in the articles doesn't help things any... So we are most grateful to Comedian Matt Davis who lends us his wit and brilliance to decide our "FT of the Week". Plus: Spasmodic film descriptions. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Matt Davis at DavisComedy.com, on Facebook (Facebook.com/ComedianMattDavis) and on Twitter (@mattdavis) My "bad girl" comment refers to Matt's very amusing post: "Yes, I like bad girls, Facebook. Now stop it." Other Joy Stories: violence incited by Cat Pee and Sex Talk (should the cat pee link not work here are the exceptional pics.) Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Bicycle”). He has lots of cool royalty-free music, so check it out. Wonder about other FTed things that inspired violent acts...? You'll learn just how dangerous a Facebook unfriending can be on Episode 42 - "When you Friend an FT, You Friend for Life"" with Eli Braden. Last week, we featured... well the title sums up the prime FTery on display: "Episode 52 A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician!" - with Sam Tripoli. And Derek Sheen's Kickstarter project is at: http://kck.st/dereksheen. Actually, less than 5 days to go! Make a pledge! (Derek's episode with us is #50, btw.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 5/18/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 52 - A Loving Pastor and Killer vs. A Cheesemaking Murderer and Politician! | Making it on one job is next to impossible. That's why it's difficult to blame these guys for doing double (and triple-duty) - although they might have chosen their second job better. This week, we have a man who spread the word of God, the ladies legs, and killed one of his parishioners. But is he more or less of a FT than a former murder, now a politician and cheesemaker, who posts an ad trying to have some people eaten? It's a mind-boggling choice - and that's why we're thrilled to have Sam Tripoli (of The Naughty Show) to help us crown the "FT of the Week". Plus: Spam waxes poetic. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Sam Tripoli at Samtripoli.com on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/samtripoli) and on Twitter (@SamTripoli) "The Naughty Show" (Deathsquad.tv/?cat=22) is also Twitter (@NaughtyShow) and Facebook "Punch Drunk" can be found at: Toadhopnetwork.com/f/Punch Other Joy Stories: Pastor Love and Kill and Cheesy Murdering Politician Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort ("Crooked House") From the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes) - Thank you! Another violent FT named Love was featured on: Episode 36 - "Those 10 Minutes of Freedom Were Pleasant But I'm Ready to Go Back" with Matt Koff. Last week, we had two guys who required more training on the basics of criminal escapades... Episode 51 - "Call The Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims" - with Chris Gore. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 5/11/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 51 - Call the Cops on Yourself or Arrange a Trade with Your Victims | Two more rules (for our Continuing Ed course on "Crime 101"): Don't call the cops on yourself, and assume that your victims won't be enthused about making a trade with you... If this information surprises you - you may just be a FT! Our Guest Judge this week is Comedian Chris Gore (of PodCRASH and many other things) and we could not be more relieved to have him sort out the FTedness for our "FT of the Week"! Plus: a "straight", quick erotic story. And, after the outro, we have a fun ringtone for you... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Chris Gore at ChrisGore.com, on Facebook (personal: Facebook.com/ThatChrisGore, page: http://www.facebook.com/ILikeChrisGore), and on Twitter (@ThatChrisGore) Chris' podcast is PodCRASH! His new stop-motion animated comedy series (about dolls who work at a dungeon) is FetishVIL (FetishVil.com/) (Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FetishVIL, Twitter: (@FetishVIL) Other Joy Stories: Fire call and Trade Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Harlequin”). The ringtone music (after outro) uses this sound from Freesound.org: "Dance Synth" by usinggarageband (Freesound.org/people/usinggarageband) (Find the tone on our "Ringtone" page) Wondering what our intro - and the ringtone music is all about? You'll find out on last week's (special and longer) episode: "Episode 50 - Such Photographic FTs" with Derek Sheen. We featured a story about a man trying to get his gun back from his victims on Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 5/4/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 50 - Such Photogenic FTs! | Planning a crime is challenging - and sometimes it's the small details that trip you up. Or the huge, really glaring details... This time around we have FTed criminals caught by special photos... Comedian Derek Sheen is this week's Guest Judge and we're so grateful he's able to decide our "FT of the Week"! And, since it's our 50th episode we've made it longer (and harder) with: a wonderful voicemail, a licky cop and learning to whisper to a woman's intimate parts. Plus: another awesome song from "The Weekend Pilots" (TheWeekendPilots.com)! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Derek Sheen at DerekTime.com, contribute to his Kickstarter Campaign to fund his new album "Holy Drivel" , on Facebook (Facebook.com/dereksheen), and on Twitter (@DerekSheen) The Weekend Pilots are at ( TheWeekendPilots.com) and on Twitter (@weekendpilots) and Facebook (Facebook.com/theweekendpilots ). Download their self-titled album for free from their site. Other Joy Stories: Fake stroke, steal car and Framed photo And: licky cop Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Chee Zee Jungle”). Last week we featured some uber-ambitious FTs: on Episode 49 - "Choke, Rattle and Roll" with Caleb Bacon ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: ever positive rating for us - is a vote for freedom and judgement.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our (coming eventually) newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 4/27/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 49 - Choke, Rattle and Roll | You really question your life when you find yourself envious of FTs... But these guys just have so much energy! They manage to commit several crimes in a very short period of time. And really bizarre, nonsensical ones at that. Needless to say, the acts include nudity, theft, violence and feces. No, wait - that did need to be said. Caleb Bacon of "The Gentlemen's Club with Caleb Bacon" podcast brings his expertise to us as this week's Guest Judge. But, who will he decide is the "FT of the Week"? Plus: Cure cancer the perverted fake doctor way! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Caleb Bacon (Calebbacon.com) on Facebook (Facebook.com/calebbacon) and on Twitter (@CalebEatsBacon) The Gentlemen's Club is (GentlemensClubPodcast.com) and on Facebook (facebook.com/gentlemensclubpodcast and twitter (@gentlemens) Other Joy Stories: 11 felonies, Crash and Attack And the new cancer cure. Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Harlequin”). I totally forgot who sent the story about Overachieveing FT #1. So sorry! Remind me and I will thank you next week. Last week we learned about how to pick up gals while on the job... if you're a FT: Episode 48: "Look, If You're Going to Get All Irrational About My Junk" with Cort Webber and Fatboy "Bobby" Roberts of "Cort & Fatboy" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: if you don't review us well - the FTs win!.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 4/20/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 48 - Look, If You're Going to Get All Irrational About My Junk... | Hey, work can be dull sometimes. So why not make your day that much jazzier by conducting job interviews naked or pulling people over for traffic violations and then showing them pics of your bits? Add some nudity and unwanted sexual advances to your workday and you've done turned lemons into FTade! We're fortunate that Cort and Fatboy are able to Guest Judge and provide the "FT of the Week" verdict. Plus: A cheery, balanced gal on Twitter. ---Information and Links --- Guest "Cort and Fatboy"'s site is cortandfatboy.com and they're on Twitter @cortandfatboy) Find Cort Webber on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/cort2) and on Twitter (@cortwebber) Find Bobby "Fatboy" Roberts on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/FatboyRoberts) and on Twitter (@fatboyroberts) Other Joy Stories: Cop, Cafe Boss Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort ("Crooked House") From the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes) - Thank you! Shout outs to: @fart who found that gem of a Twitter account, Eli Braden (@elibraden), who mentioned @fart when he spoke with Caleb Bacon (@calebeatsbacon on the Gentlemen's Club (that episode here). (And Eli Braden's episode on our show was #42 - "When You Friend an FT, You Friend for Life.) The Panty Survey song (by The Weekend Pilots) that we refer to can be heard here and on our Episode 43 - You Stole My Heart, I Stole Your Phone with Joe Klocek - an episode which also features some classic pick-up attempts. And there's also some more random nudity news in our last show - Episode 47 "Dress for Success" with Brendan Bradley. SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: if you don't review us well - the FTs win!.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 4/13/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 47 - Dress for Success! | How best to appear as though you've not committed a crime? Should you run shirtless through the woods and then say you were doing it for a wedding - or simply show up at your victim’s house wearing the very items you stole? Absolutely! If you're a FT... These contenders are so stunningly clueless – and we’re lucky to have actor and writer Brendan Bradley to decide our "FT of the Week”. Plus: Math questions created by the brothers Grimm? ---Information and Links --- Guest Find Brendan Bradley: Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/brendanabradley), Twitter (@BrendanABradley), and at BrendanABradley.com. Watch Brendan in Felicia Day/The Guild’s new video: "I'm the One That's Cool". And check out his “Squadcast” podcast and webseries at SquattersTheSeries.com. Other Joy Stories: Woods, Clothing Trauma Math Thanks for the Outro Music, "Mosquito", Mark Terry II and Jace Jope of RATNIKH (On YouTube ) We mention the questions we created for the online exam of cat beater - that was in Episode 40 - "FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine" with the guys from Ear Candy (Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber). Learn about how to make your finances and romantic life better - by robbing the gal who fancies you! On Episode 46 - "Can't Help Robbing That Girl of Mine" with Douglas Gale. SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: if you don't review us well - the FTs win!.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FT action! We post more morons and weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Get our newsletter https://tinyletter.com/monicahamburg for additional weirdness! Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll below) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 4/6/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 46 - Can't Help Robbing That Girl of Mine | Forget all you've learnt about financial acquisition! Eschew investing in property! The key to wealth (or at least a few thousand bucks) is to pursue a woman and then, eventually, take her stuff. Sure, it takes some effort but a FT has no shortage of energy. Just logic. Comedian Douglas Gale joins to provide his verdict on the "FT of the Week". Plus: we learn about moons, growing...and... brides. ---Links and Info:--- Guests Find Douglas Gale: Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/hyphen.dot), Twitter (@DouglasWFail) (& Etsy (ShowerArt.net) Stories: Rob her house, Take her car Moons, Growing, Brides Outro Music: The Clemence Mosley Consort, From the album “MacGuffin” (iTunes) And the Delicious Mediocrity show with Monica is Episode 84. Want to learn some fascinating alibis? Check out Episode 45 - "The Best Defense is a Good... Lie About Yogurt or Ghosts" with Chris Laker. SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: a positive review for us will mean you'll be safe from any potential FT invasion! Well, we can't promise - but we'll try to help.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 3/30/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 45 - The Best Defense is a Good... Lie About Yogurt or Ghosts | If you kill (or try to kill) someone and don't want to cop to it, you could always go with the old-stand-by: "It wasn't me". But as we've learned, FTs are nothing if not creative. Why not use your urge for dairy products as an alibi or blame a ghost for the crime! The possibilities for FT lies are infinite! We are thrilled to have Comedian Chris Laker on the show to lend his expertise in deciding the "FT of the Week". Plus: we have a guy who has mastered both chewing and oral sex... Links and Info: Find Chris Laker: at ChrisLaker.com, on Twitter (@chrislaker), at Douchechillz.com and on The New York City Crime Report with Pat Dixon. Stories: Yogurt, Ghost. Deep and meaningful oral sex instructional. Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme (“Professor and the Plant”). Hear more FT creativity in action in: "Episode 37" Door-to-door Sexman vs. Maternity Wear Pickup Artist" with Monica's mom. Robbery is hard! Discover just how hard in "Episode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob" with Dave Ross? SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid v****as when they inevitably attack!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 3/23/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 44 - Buy Back Your Gun From Your Victims or Withdraw Money from the Bank You Just Tried to Rob? | Robbery can be challenging. Firstly, there's all the planning that goes into it. And then, when things go wrong you have to have a back-up plan. Or else you must be able to think on the spot... And, of course, when you're an FT thinking might not be your strongest skill... And you might decide to try to buy back your weapon from your intended victims or withdraw money from the bank you tried to rob just moments ago. Fortunately, comedian Dave Ross is able to give us some insight on these special guys and award the "FT of the Week". Plus, we have a bouncy little ditty about being murdered! Dave Ross info: He's @davetotheross on Twitter and he's also on Facebook. (http://www.facebook.com/davetotheross) Thanks to Kevin Macleod at Incompetech.com for today’s outro theme ( “VegasGlitz”). Want to know when's the best time to hit on a gal: before or after you rob her? Find out in Episode 43 - "You Stole My Heart, I Stole Your Phone" with Joe Klocek. SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid v****as when they inevitably attack!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 3/16/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 43 - You Stole My Heart, I Stole Your Phone | When's a good time to hit on a gal: before or after you rob her? Think neither sounds promising? Then you are not following the FT's Way! When you're an FT anything goes! We're grateful to have comedian Joe Klocek as our Guest Judge to determine our most recent "FT of the Week". Plus, we have a testimonial about some hot, fictional sex. And, after the outro, a song ("Panty Survey") from The Weekend Pilots! Joe Klocek info: He's on @standupjoe on Twitter as well as on Facebook. (http://www.facebook.com/standupjoe). The Weekend Pilots - Twitter and Facebook. Download their self-titled album for free from their site. Want to learn some more great romance techniques? Check out Episode 40 - "FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine" with the guys from Ear Candy (Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber). SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid v****as when they inevitably attack!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 3/9/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 42 - When you Friend an FT, You Friend for Life | How do you right a wrong?! How will you avenge an insult as strong, as brutal, as soul-destroying as... a Facebook Unfriending? Why, murder or arson, of course! That is, if you're an FT. Some baffling idiocy on display here so we are most grateful to have Eli Braden as our Guest Judge to determine our "FT of the Week". Plus we learn how to enlarge our breasts... And (after the outro) Eli's song: "White People Problems". Eli Braden info: He's on @elibraden on Twitter and on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/elibraden) and his album: "The New King of Comedy-Based Music" is available on iTunes There's more Facebook related idiocy on Episode 25 "Facebook, FTs, Faceplant" - where we learn of what happens when you don't like your husband's status or when you try to friend your victim - with the Greg Vance and Ryan Downing from "Stupid Wankers". SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: e a positive review for us will mean you'll be fully protected from rabid v****as when they inevitably attack!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're also on Stitcher Radio! GET MORE FTs! We post more weird content on: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (See poll above) (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 3/2/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 41 - Flashy Knifing and Cards for a Criminal | (Note: Another unusual episode. We usually have a Guest Judge deciding on our weirdos. So, if you're listening for the first time, try starting with Episode 34, 29 or 35.) Knife people for not wanting to see your boobs or get your elementary students to make cards for your jailbird boyfriend? Sure, no one's killed or kidnapped or set fire to anything this time, but our contenders are still complete FTs nonetheless. Not the standard show today as our intended guest got sick and we must bear the burden of deciding the "FT of the week" ourselves. Plus: An Aussie man improvs a lady-focussed "erotic" fantasy (After our outro:) A man pleads for sex. But not in the conventional way. And draw your own perverted conclusions re: the new StumbleUpon logo. Monica was on Delicious Mediocrity recently. Listen to the episode here. Want balance? There are men doing stupid stuff in our last episode "My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine" with the guys from Ear Candy (Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber). SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: every positive review you give us makes us bolder and more powerful!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) GET MORE FTs! On: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 2/24/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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Explicit(Updated:) Episode 40 - My FT Valentine. Deranged, Psycho Valentine | Update: Originally the feed picked up only the *ringtone* for this episode - it should have the full episode (33 minutes+) there now. --Show Description:-- How shall you win your love back? What plan will get her back in your arms forever? You can't say you've tried everything unless you've burned down her brother's property or staged beng kidnapped by a gang! Tip: in the world of FTs you are awarded bonus points for originality and drama! We're excited to have Adam Hiniker and Vance Barber from the Ear Candy podcast as our Guest Judges for this episode, to analyse these specimens and determine our "FT of the Week". Plus: A man fails his exam because of a cat. (Who hasn't been there...) And we have your new ringtone... Follow Ear Candy on Twitter (@earcandynewyork) and Facebook. (Vance Barber's also on Twitter as @vancejbarber) There's more bad romance on Episode 29 "Better Relationships Through Arrests and the KKK!" with Alex Falcone and Ezra Fox of "Read it and Weep". SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: every positive review you give us makes us bolder and more powerful!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) GET MORE FTs! On: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 2/17/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 39 - God Save Your Victims vs. Gambling with the Dead | Once again, we have some ethical dilemmas... If you run over someone with your car what's the protocol? Get out and help him or provide some religious insight? And if someone's advances are making you consistently uncomfortable should you report him to the police or murder him and go gambling with the body in the trunk? Remember: you never choose the obvious when you go full FT. We're thankful that Pat and Rob from the comedy podcast, "Somebody and Me" are here as our Guest Judges to provide some insight and decide the "FT of the Week". Plus: We envision a fake doctor call. Follow Somebody and Me on Twitter (@SomebodyFunny) and on Facebook Was this your first time listening to "The S&M Rants"? You might want to try Episode 35 next. There are more odd dillemas way back on Episode 20 with Sara Bynoe " 20 ("Hang Out With A Dead Body, Hide Your Pron, The Fake Hitman Cometh!" with Sara Bynoe). SUBSCRIBE! Rate and Review us on iTunes (remember: you are special. And we love you!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) GET MORE FTs! On: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 2/10/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 38 - Plan WTF from Outside Sanity | (A quick disclaimer here: I had to do a pretty quick edit on this episode due to time-constaints - so if it's your first time listening to the podcast, try starting with, say, Episode 34, 29 or 35.) Stab yourself repeatedly over a customer service incident? Or concoct a murder-for-money scheme that involved electrocuting a cat? If you can't envision yourself doing either, then you're bound to be as completely baffled by our competitors and their plans as we are... And, so, to determine our "FT of the Week", we are grateful to have Bruce M Campbell who returns to lend his brilliance and wit to the show as our Guest Judge. Plus: we have an erotic story that is neither erotic nor a story. What it is, however, is completely WTF?! __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Follow Bruce Campbell on Twitter and Facebook. Some other bad plans you might enjoy: A woman who faked her rape to move to a better neighborhood (Episode 31 with Jay Larson and "The Lurker") and a man who had some unique ideas (like framing a bear) for how to murder his girlfriend (Episode 28 with Eric Fell). __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please: SUBSCRIBE And rate/review us on iTunes (remember: you are special. And we love you.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) GET MORE FTs! On: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants You can place your VOTE! For your choice for "FT of the Week". (You are also welcome to comment about them on Twitter, Facebook, via email etc.) Permalink | Leave a comment » | 2/3/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 37 - Door-to-door Sexman vs. Maternity Wear Pickup Artist | Women! They're so difficult to understand! How can one possibly gage what seduction technique will work on them? That's why it's important to confuse the ladies by having a completely unique approach. This week's FTs redefine original. One gives gals the choice of magazines or sex while another dresses in women's maternity gear to woo. Foolproof! Monica desperately needs help to determine our "FT of Week" and so her mom returns to judge the FTness. And: we have some sexual hypnosis for you... _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Related creeps you might like: A man who went door-to-door checking breasts (Episode 27 - "Doctor Fondler and the Facebook Oral Prankster!" with Jackie Gold)) and a guy who tried to seduce kids - in his own apartment building (Episode 24 -"Get Oiled, Get Licked, Get Arrested, Get Shot Up the A!" with Brian Brushwood) And we refer to our Eastern European porn proposal which is in Episode 34 "What's the answer? Get Naked! What's the question? Who cares!" ________________________________________________________________________________________ Please vote for your choice for "FT of the Week" (Use the poll, comment, twitter us, Facebook us, email us etc. Info and links below.) Please: SUBSCRIBE And rate/review us on iTunes. (remember: it's not shite.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) MORE INSANITY: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants Permalink | Leave a comment » | 1/27/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 36 - Those 10 Minutes of Freedom Were Pleasant But I'm Ready to Go Back | So, you've been to jail. That's pretty FTed in itself, but maybe you learned from the experience. You're going to clean up your act, stay out of the slammer for the rest of your life. Or you could commit a crime. As soon as you get released. Right in the jail parking lot. That's cool too... Vying for the title of "FT of the Week" we have a man who urinated and stole a car as he left the prison - and another guy who beat up his girlfriend, who had come to pick him up. We so desperately need help.... And we're grateful to have the wisdom of our awesome Guest Judge, Matt Koff who assists in sorting out the FTness. And we have another instance of condiment fury... _____________________________________ Matt Koff is also on Twitter (@matt_koff) Haven't heard last week's episode (#35)? It has a special woman incensed over her a condiment slight... I refer to two of my favorite podcasts in this episode, Distorted View and The New York City Crime Report with Pat Dixon (@nyccrimereport) _____________________________________ Please vote for your choice for "FT of the Week" (Use the poll, comment, twitter us, Facebook us, email us etc. Info and links below.) Please: SUBSCRIBE And rate/review us on iTunes (remember: you are special. And we love you.) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) MORE INSANITY: Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants CONTACT/FIND US: Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants Permalink | Leave a comment » | 1/20/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
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ExplicitEpisode 35 - Tase for Condiments or Shoot-it-up over a Burrito Price Increase? | You don't get enough condiments with your burger order. Or they raised the prices on your favorite fast-food meal. Sure, you could just discuss your issue or accept the increase - but what would be the fun in that? Why not add some prison time to your frustration by going all "Falling Down" on them? We're stumped by the FTedness of these foodies. Thankfully, Tom Reynolds and Tim Daniels of "The Complete Guide to Everything are here to give us their sage judgement and determine our "FT of the Week". And we meet a very considerate family member. ---------------------------------- The Complete Guide for Everything is at tcgte.com and on Facebook and Twitter (@complete guide). Find: Tom Reynolds on (@tomreynolds) and Tim Daniels (@yourpaltim). Please vote for your choice for "FT of the Week" (Use the poll, comment, twitter us, Facebook us, email us etc. Info and links below.) More fast food irrationality can be found on Episode 26 "No Meat Equals Murder" where we talk about a man who's lack of meat... made him crazy! And: We're on Stitcher Now: http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=19756 So you can now listen anyway you darn well please! :) Please:Subscribe! And rate/review us on iTunes (remember: you're an influencer!) (Use any podcast service to subscribe - feed is here). Tell your inappropriate friends about us: rantmehard.com. Twitter: @rantmehard Facebook: Facebook.com/sandmrants / Voicemail line: via Skype: rantmehard Rant us! Good and hard! Email: info @ rantmehard.com (or shane@ or monica@ rantmehard.com ) Shane Birley: Shanesworld.ca (@ShaneBee on Twitter ) Monica Hamburg: YourDoseofLunacy.com (@MonicaHamburg on Twitter) Our Google+ Page: gplus.to/sandmrants Permalink | Leave a comment » | 1/13/12 | Free | View In iTunes |
| Total: 20 Episodes |
Customer Reviews
Intro
Based on the intro alone, I am hooked.
I have been raped…..
by this podcast. Now where is my Dim Sum!
Shane and Monica are great! They read some crazy stories and use those as launching points into cool rants. Great stuff.
There is no chance
That you won't love this. There. I said it. Check it out,love and for Gods sake,review it.
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- Category: Comedy
- Language: English
- © Steal this and we will come to your house and we will cut you!
