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Come With Me If You Want to Live

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Album Review

You would be hard-pressed to find a band with a more eyebrow-raising name than Goblin Cock, and since the project is a Rob Crow side project rather than a real band per se, one would suspect from the D&D album art and credited pseudonyms (Lord Phallus, Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler) that it's merely a spoof on death metal. Well, that's half true. The band is satirical in concept, but the execution of the music is authentic, unadulterated "rawk" of the truest kind. No joking about it. Get past the druid robes and conceptual silliness, and you're left with a powerfully crushing update of Blue Cheer and Sabbath doomsday grunge that rivals Queens of the Stone Age and Torche in its aptitude and sheer amplitude. It's almost a shame that they've gone the lowbrow dick humor route for marketing Come with Me if You Want to Live, when the music is this good. Thunderous riffs join with crunchy fuzz bass to make the songs "Haint" and "We Got a Bleeder" every bit as catchy and heavy as the last album's single, "Stumped." As a whole, this album is a step up from Bagged and Boarded — it's more consistent and melodic — but essentially the same weaponry is intact. Crow's airy vocal harmonies are mixed with stoner rock power drums, dropped tunings, and minor-key riffs that are slow-driven and heavy but manage to retain a tuneful, hook-driven warmness. Those familiar with the Goblin King's past undertakings will find some sound similarities to his former projects — especially Thingy and their appreciation of off-kilter chord choices and changes — and indie rock sensibilities (and some punk and prog touches) often mix onto the palette, to make this more of a fusion-metal experience than a formulaic nod to classic metal. Purists may be disappointed by the lack of gallops, double kicks, and blistering duel-guitar harmonies that virtuosos like Dragonforce revel in, but fans of hard-driven sludge with melody will find a lot to like. It's a fantastic album, and one of the standout metal records of the year; it's just too bad that it's kind of embarrassing to admit that you're a fan.


Genre: Alternative

Years Active: '00s

Yet another side project of the ever prolific Rob Crow (Pinback, Heavy Vegetable, Thingy, Alpha Males, Other Men, Optiganally Yours, Physics, the Ladies, Fantasy Mission Force, Snotnose, Advertising, Remote Action Sequence Project, Cthugha, and Altron Tube), Goblin Cock show off Crow's penchant for metal and comic book fantasy. Disguised in cloaks and shrouded in an element of mystery and irony, the full band roster is difficult to deduce since they're simply referred to as Lord Phallus, Bane Ass-Pounder,...
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Come With Me If You Want to Live, Goblin Cock
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