By David F. Porteous and David Candy
To listen to an audio podcast, mouse over the title and click Play. Open iTunes to download and subscribe to podcasts.
Join two men on the right side of middle age and the wrong side of clinical obesity as they talk about basically nothing. Be disturbed by their absurd views and alarmed by how much you agree with them. For thirty minutes anything goes - this is cheerful despair. Scottish author David F Porteous is approximately one half of Cheerful Despair, find out more about him at his website http://www.dfpiii.com David Candy is approximately the other half of Cheerful Despair, learn nothing about him at his youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/friendlyals
||ExplicitThe Last Jedi Special||David F. Porteous and David Candy (who like Star Wars) have been to the movies with sound engineer David Chisholm (who likes football and girls). Why not listen to the aftermath? Includes STAR WARS THEMED versions of regular features Cross Quiz and...||19 12 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E6 - Unbelievably, it's more otters||"I don't know how they got into the air ducts, I just want them out. And don't let Jerry screw you around about how he warned us to put the fine mesh otterwire over the vents because otters are skinnier than they used to be. I don't care. I just want...||3 7 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E5 - My Bicycle has a Brexit||"I don't care how many Shannon McNamara has, I am not spending five pounds on another fidget spinner! Why not listen to that stupid podcast instead?" This week: We offer our code-breaking services to GCHQ. Uh, you're welcome... Cheerful Despair...||25 6 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E4 - The one where the boys call for another world war||There are only two things that come out of the Cheerful Despair Podcast Studios - steers and episodes of the Cheerful Despair Podcast - and this doesn't look like a steer. Whatever a steer is. In this episode: We plot to send people who are in...||19 6 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E3 - Midnight at the Racist Disco||Benefiting from many local amenities, this bright and stylish 2-bedroom podcast features tasteful neutral decor and returns for its 15th episode. This week: David F Porteous will never get a massage in this town again! Join the Aryan Brotherhood of...||12 6 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E2 - 2010s Open Quotes Cheerful Despair End Quotes Podcast||On this week’s action-packed instalment: Sign up! - For the Cheerful Despair Academy of Football Chow down! - On our secret recipe for beans on toast (The second ingredient will shock you!) Hook up! - With Edinburgh’s sleaziest billboard lion...||5 6 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS3E1 - Cheerful Despair beyond a, but not the, Thunderdome||“Jean, when you’re over next weekend, can you ask Mark to look at my phone again? Yeah. It’s that thing with the skeletons. Yeah. It’s come back. Okay. Okay. Thanks love. See you on Saturday.” On this week’s episode: Can David F Porteous...||29 5 2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E6 - Take your unaccompanied singing back where you came from!||Season two of my favourite podcast comes to an end in typical style with a flurry of racism, and a battery of insults directed at anonymous/famous man Chet Hanks. Join us in wondering what he ever did to deserve this. It can't be miserable...||11 11 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E5 - The Salmon-Flavoured Cat Food Themed Episode (But Not Really)||Cheerful Despair, that pod-cast you forgot you subscribed to, returns. It's honestly better just to listen and not make a scene. We'll just leave a small tip and not eat here again. This time: Have your sandwiches been Phil-ed? Wow! In a new segment,..||15 9 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E4 - The Star Trek / Hate-Themed Episode||Welcome to another episode of Cheerful Despair - the podcast about how Star Trek the Next Generation has too many damn nerds. (This is the sound of the internet eating itself). On this episode: An initial half hour about Star Trek, which you can...||17 7 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E3 - The Brexit Themed Episode (But Not Really)||As relentless as the passing of time and the approach of a referendum on the political destiny of this Moderately Good Britain - so arrives another episode of Cheerful Despair, featuring: The actual sound of regular segment Cross Quiz being...||12 6 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E2 - The Middle Eastern Themed Episode (But Not Really)||With profuse apologies for the failure to keep our promises for weekly uploading - even though we specifically say in this episode that this is a thing which is happening - here is a bumper episode to make up for it. Featuring regular segments Debate...||5 6 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitS2E1 - The James Bond Themed Episode (But Not Really)||Hurtling straight at your ears like a bullet from a golden gun (which, presumably is either less dangerous or certainly no more dangerous than a bullet from a gun made of another metal) it's the Cheerful Despair Podcast! In the first episode of our...||24 4 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 6||An Inglorious Finale||8 2 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 5||"I didn't use the bum hose at the airport"||1 2 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 4||The episode I uploaded without re-listening to||26 1 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 3||"There are just too many things for all of them to be things at once"||17 1 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 2||Welcome to the second episode, subtitled: "If Stephen Hawking could walk, he'd never have got a film made about him." In this episode: The syphilis of Adam Smith Governor wanted, must have own wig How am I going to build a proper...||11 1 2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1, Episode 1 - "I worry that something like this has the potential to turn me into a Hitler-like figure"||A general discussion about why chickens taste of nothing||29 12 2015||Free||View in iTunes|
Two odd guys with odd views on an odd world. Very well put together.
Excellent comedy podcast
Two Davids talking about nothing, but funny. The Tarzan/Bodger and Badger crossover made me laugh a lot!
Two Scottish guys talking the biggest load of sh**e, what's not to love!