Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban
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For his second Podiobook, Bill Schmalfeldt goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. His follow-up to the non-fiction "No Doorway Wide Enough" is this fanciful, hilarious narrative, voiced by disgraced, former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (who can never reveal his real name because everyone wants to kill him) who -- if he is to be believed -- infiltrated a terror cell, went to Afghanistan, and single-handedly saved America from another terror attack in the days after 9/11. Along the way, he shares his philosophy about life, love, truckstop meals and waitresses, men's room protocol, how he killed the REAL Saddam Hussein, and his many, many marriages. This will probably be the most politically-incorrect book you will read or hear all year. Definitely not for the kiddies, mostly for language, violence, and brief nudity. If you download this book and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not the author's! You've been warned. But if you like a bawdy, action-packed story, told by a character who is one part Stephen Colbert, one part Archie Bunker, one part Forrest Gump, one part John Wayne and 100 percent AMERICAN MAN, then you'll LOVE "Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban." In a manly way, I mean. Billy doesn't swing that way. That sh*t just ain't right! WARNING TO THE SATIRE IMPAIRED: You will need ALL your satire glands in order to enjoy this.
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 12||In Episode #12, the final episode, Billy Big Rig has been captured by Coalition Forces, who mistake him for an American Taliban. After months and months in captivity, he is finally freed by a most unlikely source. WARNING! His...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 11||In Episode #11, Billy Big Rig finally has to deal with the ardorous advances of Qaboos. America invades Afghanistan, so Billy and Rafa have to accompany the Taliban to Tora Bora. Rafa gets her ultimate revenge, Billy gets HIS ultimate...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 10||In Episode #10, Billy Big Rig gains even MORE respect for his Israeli assigned operative. And he reveals the truth about what REALLY happened to Saddam Hussein -- and how the government has been lying to us for years! WARNING! Billy's...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 09||In Episode #9, Billy Big Rig starts his new job with the Taliban -- taking dirty laundry to a laundry in Kabul. His operative, one of the Taliban leader's wives, has been assigned to go with him since she speaks some English. In fact, Rafa...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 08||In Episode #8, Billy Big Rig meets his covert, undercover operative in Afghanistan. He goes through the ritual procedures to become an actual Muslim. And he gets to meet the head of the Taliban. WARNING: Billy has been called...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 07||In Episode #7, Billy Big Rig and the Islamic Extremists travel to Afghanistan, and Billy shares the details of his brief time in the Navy. This will be an important part of the story -- later. WARNING: Billy is a rough and salty...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 06||In Episode #6, Billy Big Rig get out of jail, quite easily in fact. He gets a job selling pizza while awaiting orders to travel to Afghanistan, and decides to take a side trip down to DC to see if the NEW President STILL wanted him to carry out...||10 9 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 05||After being coerced by the Warden and President Clinton into convincing Qaboos to include him in his escape plans, Billy has some time to think about past mistakes -- including his many, many marriages. He's been stabbed, beaten with billy clubs...||13 8 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 04||In Episode #4, Billy Big Rig introduces us to his "Sand Freightliner" cellmate, Qaboos. His new friend tries to share the basic tenents of Islam with Billy, but Billy has a problem with any religion where a fella can't eat pork. But...||13 8 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 03||In this episode, disgraced former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig explains how he BECAME a disgraced former alcoholic truck driver. And it was all his own fault. He sees that now. And God must CERTAINLY look out for fools,...||13 8 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 02||In the last episode, you met Billy Big Rig -- disgraced former alcoholic truck driver, bon vivant, and the most enlightened bigot you'll ever meet. He can never reveal his true identity because nefarious agents want him dead. In Episode #2,...||13 8 2010||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanUndercoverTrucker 01||Meet Billy Big Rig. Now, that ain't his real name. He can never reveal his true identity because the government wants him dead. Why? Because it was HIM who saved America in the days after 9/11, and THEY want you to think THEY...||13 8 2010||Free||View in iTunes|