Two and a Half Men, Season 9HDClosed Captioning
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The multi-talented Ashton Kutcher, whose success spans film, television and social media, joins the cast of the Emmy® Award–nominated Two and a Half Men as the hit comedy series returns for its ninth season, continuing the laughs about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love. Playing Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, Kutcher (That ‘70s Show) joins Jon Cryer as the tightly wound Alan Harper, Angus T. Jones as Alan’s laidback son, Jake Harper, Holland Taylor as Alan’s narcissistic mother, Evelyn Harper, Marin Hinkle as Alan’s neurotic ex-wife Judith Harper and Conchata Ferrell as the brash and blue-collar Berta on the top-rated series. Revamped and re-energized, the newly “manned” sitcom was created and executive produced by Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn.
|1||HDClosed CaptioningVideoNice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt||All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when ASHTON KUTCHER joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.||21:29||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|2||HDClosed CaptioningVideoPeople Who Love Peepholes||Guest star JUDY GREER is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.||21:33||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|3||HDClosed CaptioningVideoBig Girls Don't Throw Food||Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.||20:28||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|4||HDClosed CaptioningVideoNine Magic Fingers||Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).||21:11||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|5||HDClosed CaptioningVideoA Giant Cat Holding a Churro||While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risqué movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.||20:34||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|6||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThe Squat and Hover||Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. JOE MANGANIELLO (True Blood) guest stars as Bridget's new beau, Alex and JANE LYNCH (Glee) returns as therapist, Dr. Freeman.||21:26||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|7||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThose Fancy Japanese Toilets||Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star MACEY CRUTHIRD)...who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.||19:28||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|8||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThanks for the Intercourse||When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional... and is pushed over the edge.||21:33||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|9||HDClosed CaptioningVideoFrodo's Headshots||Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope...including GARY BUSEY!||21:32||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|10||HDClosed CaptioningVideoA Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes||Walden hits it off with a British babe (guest star SOPHIE WINKLEMAN), but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.||21:37||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|11||HDClosed CaptioningVideoA Lovely Landing Strip||Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. MELANIE LYNSKEY returns as Rose.||20:08||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|12||HDClosed CaptioningVideoOne False Move, Zimbabwe!||Walden's mother, Robin (guest star MIMI ROGERS) arrives and Alan is smitten with her – even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.||21:19||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|13||HDClosed CaptioningVideoSlowly and in a Circular Fashion||When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.||20:01||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|14||HDClosed CaptioningVideoA Possum On Chemo||Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.||20:33||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|15||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThe Duchess of Dull-In-Sack||Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's "special" brownies. MATTHEW MARSDEN guest stars as Zoey's ex-husband, Nigel.||21:36||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|16||HDClosed CaptioningVideoSips, Sonnets and Sodomy||Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentines Day.||19:59||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|17||HDClosed CaptioningVideoNot in My Mouth||Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experienc...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.||19:22||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|18||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThe War Against Gingivitis||Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star PATTON OSWALT), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea. Will their combustible relationship get in the way of their success? Meanwhile, a lonely Alan pays a visit to Berta.||21:32||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|19||HDClosed CaptioningVideoPalmdale, Ech||Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers (HOLLAND TAYLOR and GEORGIA ENGEL) to one another, so that they can have more time together. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.||21:17||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|20||HDClosed CaptioningVideoGrandma's Pie||Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.||21:09||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|21||HDClosed CaptioningVideoMr. Hose Says 'Yes'||Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him – for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.||21:20||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|22||HDClosed CaptioningVideoWhy We Gave Up Woman||Academy Award® winner Kathy Bates guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan's hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.||21:36||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|23||HDClosed CaptioningVideoThe Straw In My Donut Hole||On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. JASON ALEXANDER (Seinfeld) guest stars as Alan's cardiologist.||21:01||$2.99||View in iTunes|
|24||HDClosed CaptioningVideoOh look! Al-Qaeda!||Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden's ex-business partner, Billy.||21:30||$2.99||View in iTunes|
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Two in a Half Men are back and better than ever!!
Charlie Sheen might've started this show, but he sure added something something special to this season starter. His death was funny and that may sound gruesome, but it sure got this season started on a high note. Plus, seeing so many cameos from people and Ashton Kutcher did quite well taking the reigns. He was hilarious on That 70's Show and he will be hilarious on this show too. He will add some much needed comedy that is a breath of fresh hair for viewers. I may start watching it again….try it out.
I hated it
It was horrible, Ashton Kutcher needs to know he can never replace Charlie. Charlie was what made the show. Just cancel it already, you can't bring Charlie back.
I've already seen 'That 70's Show'
Burying Charlie Sheen was great...but Ashton Kutcher??? Give me a break, the only character he can do is himself, pathetically painful to watch him. An extra 30 minutes a week in which to do something more enjoyable, like poke my eyes out...
- HD Version
- Genre: Comedy
- Released: Sep 19, 2011
- TWO AND A HALF MEN and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and © Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.
- CCin English