Great For Kids and Adults!
When I was chosen to host the bi-annual family reunion, I was panicked with the fact that someone in my house had thrown away all the 4-track recordings of Uncle Krynikwyklck's yodeling tour of 1963. Imagine the surprise on my face when I found "LA UTI" by Tobacco. It was a perfect replacement to play, all of the kids had a great time promenading to "TV All Greasy" and Grandma Pat sure loved to boogie to "2 Thick Scoops," which she has asked for a cassette copy of! If only Uncle Krynikwyklck was still here to enjoy this wonderful music with us. Thank you, Tobacco.
LA UTI - A Soundtrack For The Criminally Insane
Earlier in the year, grime and slime mastermind Tobacco unveiled the hairy, sweaty beast "Maniac Meat" to the unsuspecting public via Anticon Records. The Tobacco man had already built himself quite a reputable name with 2008's "F*cked Up Friends" (also covered by Anticon), with it's room spinning, bubblegum blowing nightmarish beats. However, "Maniac Meat" takes that nightmare, shoves it up your arse, then asks if you want to cuddle afterwards. Imagine having to spend the night in a defunct, abandoned warehouse next to a graveyard, with only your horrific hallucinations to keep you company.
If "Maniac Meat" didn't leave you on the brink of sanity, LA UTI will have you writing on your walls in blood in no time. Picking up where "Meat" left off, the scene opens with you laying flat on your face in the dirt. The familiar sounds of human voices are heard in the distance, and you can barely make out what you see in front of you. What's that? Oh, right.. You're sleeping in a filthy back alley.
You have no idea where you are or what happened. All you know is that you feel disgusting and your wallet is missing. After you gather your bearings, you walk by a TV store and notice that on one of the screens the faces of the Anti-Pop Consortium are staring at you. Your feet are frozen and you cannot move. VHS static and human vocals collide to make a garbled, possibly offensive 80's commercial for Hasbro. Before you even have the time to yell for your mommy, the commercial ends, and a flatulent beat starts to pick at your brain. The unique, super-sped vocals of Doseone bust through your ear-drums, and you can't help but feel your body succumbing to the groove.
A clean wisp of fresh air blows through your hair, and you find yourself on the utskirts of town near a thick patch of dark, looming woods. Unable to control your legs, you start hiking up a trail only to come face-to-face with a sickly green witch. The witch raises her mask, and it's none other than Definitive Jux afficianado Rob Sonic. And that's not a broomstick he's riding, it's an AMC Gremlin. You run until your chest cramps and you cough and sputter for air.
Just as you think you're safe from the cackling witch, a wooly mammoth stamps the earth right in front of you, knocking you flat on your butt, and a deep, ominous bassline grabs you by the throat. A dark figure sits atop the beast's enormous, arched back. It's none other than Serengeti, and he's furious! After barely surviving the impact of the thumping bass, a drop of sweat travels down your cheek, and you find yourself in a fuzzy, distorted 80's horror movie. Someone is scratching at the back door. What luck, it's the escaped convict Height with his gang of bloodthirsty friends.
As if mammoths, murderers, and moldy old witches weren't enough to scare you, you now find yourself in the middle of a demonic ritual. A small, red-eyed goblin named Icicle Frog starts chanting and you can feel a powerful essence engulf your body. Now, you are no longer the helpless pile of flesh that "Maniac Meat" left you. No, you are now a cold-blooded killer, and you are craving your first victim. You pick up your knife, throw a few Bazooka Joes in your mouth, and you take your first steps into society. That's when the credits start, and Zackey Force Funk has the entire crowd in the theater bobbing their heads on the way home.
All in all, LA UTI is a great record that will surely have some influence over you, no matter how hard you fight it. The synth hooks, the grimey lyrics, or even the strange picture on the disk will have you stashing bodies in your garage in no time.