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Dear God, I Hate Myself (Bonus Track Version)

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Editors’ Notes

Jamie Stewart — as Xiu Xiu — has always made searingly emotional music, and Stewart’s drama-rich warble is undeniably arresting. Listening is sometimes akin to having a raw nerve being poked; lines like “You were beautiful and I lost you/ like a whip covered in pins and glue” jolt and shock, but are utterly satisfying to those seeking music with visceral impact. Musically, Dear God… is a skillfully balanced blend of post-punk angst and electronic/IDM pop, and perhaps the most cohesive Xiu Xiu release yet. Gothic-tinged synthesized textures (made with software for the Nintendo DS) and electronic pulses push a song like “Secret Motel” to an exciting edge, but those same elements tame “Apple for a Brain“ into a muted, gray-toned pop bauble, and the lovely “This Too Shall Pass Away” into an ethereal, new-wave dance number. The disarmingly catchy title track and opener “Gray Death” are built on bold percussion and guitars that soar and surge, punctuated with electrified screeches and hiccups. Stewart makes extraordinary art out of examining life’s darker forces.

Customer Reviews


i've been waiting for this album to come out for a year-- and it doesn't disappoint! i love that the band continues to challenge themselves and the listeners, all while being absolutely goth, poppy and danceable. XIU XIU FOR LIFE!

i am stunned!

Xiu Xiu has gone from writing really great songs to writing songs that are masterpieces. This is the best album they have ever done. Each work is a electronic doom and emotional demolition. It is as if Hello Kitty, Scott Walker, OMD, and Arvo Part were in a fox hole and going to be bombed at any moment. I love this! It frees you from regular music!

stunned. wonderful!

Love this record and the continuing evolution of Xiu Xiu. The sound is rich and bold without losing any of the fine details. Brilliant.


Formed: 2000 in San Jose, CA

Genre: Alternative

Years Active: '00s, '10s

Taking their name from the 1998 Chinese film Xiu Xiu: The Sent Down Girl, Xiu Xiu formed in San Jose, California with Cory McCullough, Yvonne Chen (publisher of the indie zine Zum), Lauren Andrews, and Jamie Stewart. Before forming Xiu Xiu, McCullough and Stewart played in the band Ten in the Swear Jar. Prior to the 2002 release of their first full-length album, Knife Play (released on vinyl through Absolutely Kosher and on disc through 5RC/Kill Rock Stars), the band made appearances on numerous...
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