Opening the iTunes Store.If iTunes doesn't open, click the iTunes application icon in your Dock or on your Windows desktop.Progress Indicator
Opening the iBooks Store.If iBooks doesn't open, click the iBooks app in your Dock.Progress Indicator

iTunes is the world's easiest way to organize and add to your digital media collection.

We are unable to find iTunes on your computer. To download the free app Cracked Asstrology by Demand Media, Inc., get iTunes now.

Already have iTunes? Click I Have iTunes to open it now.

I Have iTunes Free Download
iTunes for Mac + PC

Cracked Asstrology

By Demand Media, Inc.

Open iTunes to buy and download apps.


Unsure about the future? Need love advice? Career guidance? Wondering which organ to sell to make next month's rent? The Cracked Asstrology App has all the answers.
Rated the #1 Most Scientifically Accurate Horoscope App by and its subsidiaries, Asstrology has put together a team of astrologers who have internet access. Meet Professor Gort, who has the astrological acumen of a super-computer; Erin, a genuine clairvoyant (even though she's still not very good at it); Sean, our resident sell-out; Liz, who'd rather be doing anything else than this job; Keith (we'll tell you about him later...); and Jeffrey, aka The Zodiac Time-Killer!

What's New in Version 1.0.1

• Stability improvements

iPhone Screenshot

iPhone Screenshot 1
iPhone Screenshot 2
iPhone Screenshot 3
iPhone Screenshot 4

Customer Reviews

An abandoned app

When I got the app it had worked maybe two or three times but now it's glitchy and it seems that they don't update it anymore, it's a shame because it was actually really funny. It stays stuck at April for all the signs and it's the same prediction for all of them too. I have the same problem as all the other complaint reviews here and I'm tired of waiting for an update. I do recommend getting the other cracked app for their articles it's very funny and updated consistently.


I really like most things from Cracked and Asstrology isn't an exception, but the astrologer profiles don't really load correctly. It's not a big deal, just thought I'd say something. (I mean that last passive aggressively, it is a big deal.)

Funny Horoscopes, but...

I was really excited to learn what my future held, but the 'scopes seem to be stuck in one week. I can't find my current horoscope, so I'm super bummed.
Hope this gets fixed very soon! I'd love to see what humorous things cracked has to say about my future!

Cracked Asstrology
View In iTunes
  • Free
  • Category: Entertainment
  • Updated: Jun 05, 2013
  • Version: 1.0.1
  • Size: 7.2 MB
  • Language: English
  • Seller: Demand Media, Inc.

Compatibility: Requires iOS 5.1 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. This app is optimized for iPhone 5.

Customer Ratings

Current Version:
All Versions: