iPhone Screenshots


Designed by The Oatmeal, this state-of-the-art software detects homicidal behavior in cats. Using a mixture of behavioral and visual data, this application will reliably predict whether your cat is plotting to end your life.

* Compatible with most cats
* Does not work on livestock or children

What's New

Version 3.2

Bug fixes.

Ratings and Reviews

4.8 out of 5
24 Ratings
24 Ratings

This app literally saved my life!

Well, I don't know how to begin. My cat was missing for a week, when it came back I noticed slight chances in its behavior that got me suspicious. Suddenly it's "cuddling" with me, never leaving my side. I told my friend about it and he recommended this app. Thank god he did! In the moment I pushed the download button my cat jumped up and rushed out of the room. The scan told me that there is a 77% chance of my cat intending to kill me. It opened my eyes! In all those years I didn't live with a innocent fluff ball, but a cold and blood-thirsty killer.
Do something to save your life: install this app!



According to the app, there is a 95% chance my cat is planning to kill me, which I consider a highly accurate assessment. However, I had to remove one star because the app does not include death-avoidance strategies, so it is of limited usefulness. Perhaps the next incarnation of the app could include advice on how to curtail my cat's homicidal tendencies?


Matt is the funniest man alive. Period

There is 100% your cat is plotting to kill you! Haha. Matt is the funniest comic writer I have ever come across. Keep up the good work. I check Oatmeal weekly just waiting and hoping... now get out there and run so you can eat cake.


Oatmeal, LLC
19.2 MB
Requires iOS 10.2 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch.
Age Rating
Rated 9+ for the following:
Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence
Infrequent/Mild Horror/Fear Themes
© Oatmeal, LLC 2017


  • Family Sharing

    With Family Sharing set up, up to six family members can use this app.

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