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The Kraken: The Simulation Application for Naut...

By Dead As We Know It

This app is only available on the App Store for iOS devices.


The Kraken: The Simulation Application for Nautical Maneuvering

The Makers of The Kraken® Black Spiced Rum generously share with you this NEAR ACCURATE SIMULATION, so that you may experience the perils they first encountered in bringing this fine product to the world.

You Must be Aged 21 Years, or Greater, to Download this Application. Age Verification will be Performed before the Application can Commence. (Or You will be Duly Dismissed.)

Utilizing State-of-the-Art 19th Century Technology, You Must Attempt to Successfully Deliver a Shipment of Black Spiced Rum across the Darkest of All the Seas. Or Be Swallowed Whole By the Beast of Myth and Legend, the Mighty Kraken.

Harnessing the Natural Aquatic Properties of your Hand-held Apparatus, Navigate your Ship through an Array of Hazards, being Careful not to be Waylaid by One, as the Mighty Kraken will not Twice Ponder your Permanent Removal from the Map - By Means of Devouring. (Please Note: Do Not Submerge your Apparatus In Actual Water.)

-Instructions Given By Prof. Thornton Cumberbatch, Undersea Oddity Specialist.
-Spectacular Accelerometer-sensitive Ship Maneuverability.
-Multiple Uncannily Realistic Hazards (Brace Yourself Accordingly.)
-Three Remarkably True-to-Legend Kraken Perish Scenarios.
-Fall-Off-The-Edge-of-Earth Accuracy
-Actual Distress Cries of Fallen Seamen
-Hand-etched Art, Etched by Real Hands.
-Success Rewards Participant with Simulated Glass of Black Spiced Rum.
-Original Musical Composition by, Master of Orchestras, Christopher Hicken.
-Animation created by Madam Ariane Irle.

*In The Event of An Actual Kraken Encounter Your Hand-Held Device May be Thrust at Beast.

**All Depictions of the Kraken Based on Images As Seen Through the Eyes of the Imagination. And/Or Hearsay. And/Or Most Reliable Accounts and Descriptions of It.

***Due to its references to alcoholic content, Apple classifies this app as 17+. However, since the application is sponsored by Proximo Spirits, Inc., by downloading it you state you are over the age of 21.

****The Kraken® Black Spiced Rum. 47% Alc/Vol. (94 proof). ©2010 Kraken Rum Co., Jersey City, NJ. Like the deepest sea, the Kraken® should be treated with great respect and responsibility.

What's New in Version 2.2

- Facebook recommend
- Facebook like

iPhone Screenshots

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Customer Reviews

Impossible to win? No, just hard!

The game would be great, but I think it's a sick joke and is actually impossible to win (or at least not worth it, if possible). Update: My son finally was able to win today, but I still haven't...but it IS possible.

Cool graphics

I dug the simple graphics. Game was really easy to beat. ... Probably would be a fun game to have friends try after a few drinks

The Kraken

The music and the graphics are great. Simple but fun game. Yes you can beat it. Just stay away from the Kraken.

The Kraken: The Simulation Application for Naut...
View in iTunes
  • Free
  • Category: Games
  • Updated:
  • Version: 2.2
  • Size: 73.7 MB
  • Language: English
  • Seller:
You must be at least 17 years old to download this app.
  • Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence
  • Frequent/Intense Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References

Compatibility: Requires iOS 3.2 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch.

Customer Ratings

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