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Maim Street

By So Choice Softworks

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Description

Prepare for the Dark Souls of crossing guard simulators.

You are a crossing guard helping people cross the street! But there are too many cars. Like, WAY too many. Can’t save’m all!

Welcome to the world of John Stopman, the busiest civil servant in town. Save as many people as you can, but you might have to shrug off a few fatalities. Maim Street is a frantic game where you learn that you can’t be everything for everyone.

Unlock the powerful bazooka to fight back against the cars, and earn prizes to customize your game! Rescue pedestrians to learn secrets about the town while always keeping an eye out for powerups like the mighty Air Strike or the alarming Alien Abduction.

Plenty of games reward perfection, this one rewards adequacy. Enjoy!


FEATURES
• Original soundtrack to groove to while you blow up ambulances.
• Over 40 game upgrades, such as confetti explosions and the alluring lumberjack costume.
• A character named “Chester Buttmeat”
• Brutal sound effects that will make your mother cringe.
• In-game powerups ranging from planting bombs to summoning demons.
• Dozens of cats.
• Over 50 unique pedestrians with their own stories, yet they all seem to explode the same.


PRAISE OF MAIM STREET

“How this was ever dreamed up. What kind of lives must the creators live.” - Chris D.

“I enjoyed the ‘squish’ the people make when they get nailed by a car.” - Jill A.

“Chaos and lots of deaths, but the fun kind of death.” - Master M.

“A crossing guard with an impossible duty to protect innocent civilians from becoming beautiful explosions of blood and body parts.” - Dana A.

“I've never played anything like it before.” - Garrett M.

“It gets too hard too fast.” - Coward who doesn’t yet understand real life


DISCLAIMER
Not recommended for those uncomfortable with coming to grips with the frailty of human existence.

What's New in Version 1.0.1

The "First Day on the Job" Update!
• Improved the tutorial to make your first day on the job less overwhelming
• Added grades to scores so now your family can be proud / disappointed with you in a brand new way
• Added helpful reminders to use your traffic cones
• Changed wording of end game screen to encourage learning about saved people
• General bug fixes and improvements

Screenshots

iPhone Screenshot 1
iPhone Screenshot 2
iPhone Screenshot 3
iPhone Screenshot 4
iPhone Screenshot 5
iPad Screenshot 1
iPad Screenshot 2
iPad Screenshot 3
iPad Screenshot 4
iPad Screenshot 5

Customer Reviews

A dream come true

I've always wanted to be a crossing guard and just every now and then let someone get hit by a car. This game lets me do just that even when I'm at my real job helping school kids cross the street or something

BEST GAME IN THE WORLD

I am the first review!! This game is so action packed and fun that it makes you just want to play all day and all the time. I definitely recommend this to everyone who likes a fun game to play on there phone or IPad when bored. Have a fun and enjoy! :)

n00b citizen

This game is awesome for my daily commute! Very easy to play and highly addictive. Though I must save these citizens to continue the game, I must say it is also immensely satisfying to see them get run over...

Maim Street
View in iTunes
This app is designed for both iPhone and iPad
  • Free
  • Category: Games
  • Updated:
  • Version: 1.0.1
  • Size: 174 MB
  • Language: English
  • Seller:
Rated 12+ for the following:
  • Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References
  • Infrequent/Mild Realistic Violence
  • Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes
  • Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content and Nudity
  • Frequent/Intense Cartoon or Fantasy Violence
  • Frequent/Intense Profanity or Crude Humor

Compatibility: Requires iOS 8.0 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch.

Customer Ratings

Current Version:
All Versions:

Top In-App Purchases

  1. BazookaFree