As an apprentice sorcerer, you should never steal your master's identity. But what if that's the only way to save the kingdom?

"Sorcery Is for Saps" is a 200,000-word interactive fantasy novel by Hilari Bell and Anna-Maria Crum, where your choices control the story. It's entirely text-based—without graphics or sound effects—and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.

Will your powers save the cursed king--or will you turn traitor and seize the throne yourself? You can probably break a simple kindness curse, but there are dark forces at work and you may be in over your head before you can say “Abracadabra.”

Throw in your lot with scheming councilors, the attractive heir, or even go to work for the invaders. But whether you choose to save the king or your own neck, one thing is clear—this is your big chance!

‪Magic, power, or true love—which will you choose? In "Sorcery Is for Saps," you'll find it's easier than waving a wand.

• ‪Be a hero or turn traitor, seduced by a sexy spy.
• ‪Play as male or female, gay, straight, or bi.
• ‪Steal a rival wizard's inventions.
• ‪Fight the maniacal, mechanical, magical monkey.
• Power up for politics, succeed at sorcery, or just get really, really rich.
• ‪Trade barbs with your snarky familiar. Or will you kow-tow to a sarcastic ferret?
• End up as a sorcerer, a royal councilor, a villain, or a mouse. (Literally. You can be turned into a mouse.)

What's New

Version 1.1.0

New! You can now change the background color of the text. Your choice of black, white, or sepia.
New! You can change the size of the text, too. Bigger or smaller, it's up to you.

If you enjoy playing "Sorcery is for Saps," please leave a written review for this version. It really helps!

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5

11 Ratings

11 Ratings

Oh My Goodness


I started playing through this in my free time, but I was quickly sucked in. This is a marvelous read!

Good not best COG


Really enjoyed the tone (myth inc. or princess bride tongue and cheek). However, was more on rails (or at least the rails were more visible) than my favorite COG titles.

Second play through felt very similar to first despite trying to make different decisions

Good Writing, but could be better


Mostly I'm just having trouble with the part where you first try to solve the king's problem after the Court Wizard's failed to do so for days and if you choose to scry *your spell actually works* but then the king moves and disrupts it and the game ends up describing it as "your huge failure" and just hammers that in. It was annoying the first time (especially since it was, IMO, a huge success given the *Court Wizard* wasn't able to get *anywhere*), but after the fifth or so time bringing it up and saying how "you're so humiliated to have failed in front of everyone" it started making the story feel fake, which totally destroyed the immersion and my suspension of disbelief. I haven't read that far, so I don't have much else to say, but I just wanted to add in this opinion.

Edit 1: Story falls into standard trap of giving you a large harem of "absolutely stunningly beautiful" women to choose from who also happen to be super smart blah blah blah. I'd appreciate it if one were ugly or dumb for once or at least have a rounder character, or if the author would put less focus into sexualizing the story.


Choice of Games LLC
20.7 MB
Requires iOS 7.0 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch.
Age Rating
Rated 12+ for the following:
Infrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence
Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References
Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes
Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor
© 2016 Hilari Bell & Anna-Maria Crum
In-App Purchases
  1. Rest of the Game $5.99


  • Family Sharing

    With Family Sharing set up, up to six family members can use this app.

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