Stash: Invest. Learn. Save. 4+

Version History

• 2.8.0

  Feb 6, 2019
  Hey!
  
  Not too much has changed around these parts, just some general maintenance and bug crushing. Kind of like a spring cleaning—which is the absolute last thing that anyone is probably thinking about right now. Freaking Polar Vortex.
  
  Way To Kill Bugs #976: Gather bugs in fist and fling outside your front door—they'll be bug-shaped snowflakes before they hit the ground.

• 2.7.5

  Jan 22, 2019
  Hello hello hello!
  
  We’ve got some exciting news! Just like a boulder on a hill covered in honey, we’re slowly rolling out some new features to our users. But for now, just like the movie The Sixth Sense, some of you can see them and some of you can’t.
  
  First up, just like Craig T. Nelson on an episode of Nip/Tuck, Coach is getting a facelift! Check out the newly designed Coach tile on the home screen.
  
  Also, just like people noticing new Auto-Stash features, some of you may notice new Auto-Stash features! Auto-Stash is our term for automatically putting money into your Stash Invest Account. Here are the new kinds of Auto-Stash...
  
  Set Schedule: Move a set amount from your bank account to your Stash account on a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly basis.
  
  Round-Ups: Every purchase you make using the debit card connected to your linked bank account, is rounded to the nearest dollar and the extra change is placed in your Stash personal investment account (once the amount hits $5 or more).
  
  Smart-Stash: Using a super smart system (aka an algorithm) we figure out how much you can comfortably afford to put in your Stash personal investment account and deduct it automatically.
  
  For those of you who have these features, congratulations! Select the ones that work for you. For those of you who don’t have these features, we feel your pain… literally, we were all cursed centuries ago and can feel the pain of people missing out on cool stuff. The story of how we were all cursed is a long and funny one, beginning in the mid 1600s and covering (sometimes inadvertently influencing) such historic events as: the goods exchange of the Dutch and Edo period Japan, the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and the Treaty of Versailles… Oh my, it truly was an epic and compelling story… we’re thinking of it right now. Wow.
  
  Ways to kill bugs #5,801:
  
  Force them into a position whereby the metrics of their success are judged by a constantly fluctuating body of laws and lawmakers (many of whom have something to gain in the event of the bugs’ failure). The bugs will implode with only minimum tearing of the space-time continuum.

• 2.7.4

  Jan 7, 2019
  It’s our first update of 2019! We’ll spare you the whole “new year, new me” thing because goodness knows if you hear it one more time, you might hurl one of your coworker Karen’s mini desk plants against a wall and “new year, newly unemployed” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
  
  In other words: Same awesome Stash, just with a few more awesome updates.
  
  For 2019, the IRS has raised the annual cap on retirement account contributions from $5500 to $6000, and we’ll be supporting that increase. As you know, we feel very passionately about our users socking away as much as they can for their futures. Retirement planning isn’t just a boring item to check off the “adulting” to-do list—it’s about laying the foundation for your future dreams. And when you think of it that way, your perspective changes. Saving for retirement becomes more exciting, more of an adventure. It’s kind of like building a giant catapult, motivated by the secret knowledge that you could eventually strap yourself in and slingshot your flailing, adrenaline-soaked body into a bigger, better, BRIGHTER FUTURE!!!
  
  Unfortunately, we also had a bug that was preventing users from making any retirement contributions at all in 2019. It was crushed under sheer irony. Contribute away, dear Stashers!
  
  Way To Kill Bugs #2501: Build tiny rocket ship. Launch bugs into the twilight zone between Christmas and New Year’s.

• 2.7.3

  Dec 17, 2018
  We got some great updates to share with y’all.
  
  First, the investment search engine’s ticker got an upgrade. For real. Now when you search, you’ll see both the investment name AND the ticker symbol.
  
  Second, there used to be a bug where when you were sorting your portfolio’s investments, a banner labeled “Your Investments Sorted By” would stalk you…creepily following you near the top of the screen as you scrolled. Someone in our legal department correctly identified this bug as caused by an interdimensional paradox. We know, we know—it sounds far fetched. How is a lawyer identifying something so esoteric? Well, we just have an incredible legal team here, with many of them moonlighting as astrophysicists. In order to fix this bug, we needed to transverse the plane of this reality and correct the errors in the alternate dimension. Fortunately, one of our front-end developers happened to have a TI-83X-4 Portal Generator in their grandmother’s garage—the only issue was that her garage is in Pasadena and, as you know, these portal generators are very bulky and require absurd amounts of power. So we needed to find a truck big enough to transport it back to our office on the east coast. The first truck we tried to rent had a weird insurance policy that forbid the vehicle from being involved in anything that may “disrupt the fabric of reality.” So, we needed to go with a cheaper company we were unfamiliar with. Long story short, it totally broke down somewhere in Kansas. Luckily, the driver repairs cars in her spare time and although she couldn’t get the truck working, she was actually able to assemble the parts into a working motorcycle, which she used to travel the rest of the way in the hopes that she could find a replacement truck upon arriving in California. You might be asking us at this point, “Why didn’t you just fly to Cali and rent a truck there in the first place?” First of all, no one in California actually calls it Cali. And second of all, we did the math. It was actually a lot cheaper to drive there and back—plus our driver wanted to store her antique box collection at her aunt’s place in San Diego, so she already had a reason to go. Tragically, the entirety of her box collection perished in the hot sun as she was converting the truck into a motorcycle. Did we mention the boxes were all made of chocolate? Well, they were, and that’s why they melted. Anyway, she eventually made it to Pasadena, rented another truck, transported the portal generator to NYC where we engaged in an epic, interdimensional battle that lasted 413 Earth years—it was truly amazing. We’d describe it in more detail, but we’re just about out of space in this update, so just imagine the most incredible journey of all time where, against all odds, we managed to overcome the forces of evil and just barely right the wrongs affecting our dimension. The hero of this quest, whom we totally forgot to mention until just now, narrowly escaped being trapped in the alternate dimension forever! And, upon returning, they were permanently changed for the better.
  
  And that’s how we fixed the bug!

• 2.7.2

  Dec 3, 2018
  After doing the dishes this Thanksgiving, we decided to clean the app, too. So this week we fixed typos, design issues, error messages, and a jenky nav bar bug. Finally, Auto-Stash is growing up. In beta now, we've added Round-Ups (yus) and Smart-Stash (formerly Smart-Save). Expect a big roll out in Jan. 2019.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #1981: Capture them. Then eat with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti. F-p, f-ph f-h, f-ph...

• 2.7.1

  Nov 19, 2018
  Oh, hey, Stashers,
  
  Let’s talk about what we’ve been up to. I’ve got the file right here in… a crocodile’s mouth?? Why would anyone put it there!? And why do we even have a crocodile in this office!!?
  
  Ok, uh, maybe if I just move quickly… 1, 2, 3… Ah! Lost a finger. Oh well. Here’s the news:
  
  1. Now, when you complete a transfer, you’ll get an offer to refer a friend. If your friend funds their account, we’ll give you both $5!
  
  2. Phone verification is more secure than ever and works on landline phones! So now all three of you who still uses landlines can also do phone verification.
  
  3. The day has come. The banking revolution has begun! Our brand new debit account is now ready. We'll be opening access to FOUNDERS' first and then afterwards access will be based on when you reserved your spot. Keep an eye open for a brand new tile on your home feed.
  
  That’s all for now! I gotta run to the hospital.

• 2.7.0

  Nov 12, 2018
  Hello hello!
  
  We don’t have much that’s new, so we’ll keep this short and sweet. We’ve taken the app version info and placed it at the bottom of your Account page. We’ve also renamed the “About” tab as “Legal”.
  
  It’s actually an interesting backstory. Last year, our head of compliance submitted an unusual request—she needed a room filled with whiteboards, an unlimited budget for dry erase markers, and permission to host a biweekly, compliance-only team building night. Our leadership was a little confused, but because she works so hard, the request was granted.
  
  So every Tuesday and Thursday night, our entire compliance team heads into their aptly named “Compliance Cave” to kick back, relax, and take turns writing out random passages of terms and conditions by hand on the whiteboards. We’re not sure if it’s the sheer joy of compliance-related activities or just the fumes off all the dry erase markers, but the laughter and good cheer emanating from that room never fails to fill the entire Stash office with a warm and cozy glow.
  
  The morning after last week’s meeting, a janitor with a secret passion for legal jargon was cleaning the Compliance Cave. As he emptied the dozen or so trash cans, filled with hundreds of dead markers and the odd finger splint, a certain paragraph of handwritten legal caught his eye. “This is good, but it could be better,” he muttered to himself. He looked around furtively, then snatched a marker out of the bin that happened to still have a little juice left in it.
  
  Later that morning, the head of compliance came running down the hallways, frantically wheeling a whiteboard in front of her. “Who’s done it?!” she roared, pointing to the board. “It’s genius!” And indeed it was, for the “About” tab on the Account page had been renamed to reflect what it actually contained—”Legal”. There were screams, gasps—a few people fainted, but that was a little overdramatic TBH.
  
  We tried to hunt down the janitor to thank him, but last we heard, he was headed to California in a red ‘71 Chevrolet Nova. We truly wish him the best.
  
  Anyways, enjoy your newly organized Account page!
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #62: Kill 'em with kindness. Just kidding, git yer baseball bat.

• 2.6.7

  Nov 5, 2018
  – Want to invest for older you or a young human you know? Registration for custodial accounts for kids and retirement accounts just got a revamp.
  – Faster withdrawal is now a thing. Holds reduced from 5 days to 3. See glossary for deets.
  – The Stash Cash Back rollout rolls on. Go earn yourself some extra cash to invest.
  – If you try to create an account instead of signing in, we'll sign you in anyways.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #9: Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew."

• 2.6.6

  Oct 30, 2018
  Another strong update all about bugs. We hate 'em. So we terminate them.

• 2.6.5

  Oct 22, 2018
  Oh, hello, Stashers…
  
  First things first, we’re expecting Stash Cash Back to become available to everyone very soon! In due time, all will have the power to earn more cash to invest.
  
  What else, what else... OH! Push notifications can now take you to the specific place in the app that want you to go (instead of only taking you to the home page)—so that’s cool.
  
  And finally, we wanted to sincerely apologize for an egregious typo in our pre-populated text that appears whenever someone tries to send gifts to a Stash user. It said something along the lines of “Get cash is invest” instead of “Get cash to invest”. The origin of this is actually kinda funny…
  
  In 1862, a wealthy, young woman by the name of Catherine Winthrop Mcallister purchased a small printing press in Malden, Massachusetts, with the goal of publishing the memoirs of Sir. Walter Cornish—a friend and mentor of hers. As you well know, 1862 was a particularly cold year in New England, and, as she was making her way to the press, a stray cat leapt from the shadows and gave her an awful fright, causing her to faint in the newly falling snow. Her body slid down a hill and into a lake, where she remained frozen for 156 years. Presumed vanished, her estate was carried on by her only son, Jacob, who, incidentally had no interest in publishing and, upon hearing the news about his mother, promptly burned down the Malden press out of spite. Despite his borish and vengeful disposition, Jacob married and carried on the bloodline, and it just so happens that one of Catherine’s direct descendants works as a copywriter in this very office! It seems her vigor for the printed word skipped several generations. What’s more interesting is that recently Catherine’s body was discovered in the lake—perfectly preserved! Although any attempts to revive her failed miserably. The news of these failed attempts forced our copywriter (her descendant) to confront the notion of existence without consciousness. After a 48-hour philosophy binge, we found him scribbling the word “is” hundreds of times all over the walls in his solarium. We nursed him back to reason with herbal teas and breathing exercises and before long he was seeming himself again. His first assignment back at work was composing the copy that ultimately resulted in the typo above. Ashamed of his mistake, he tried to convince us that his only recourse should be to submerge himself in the lake of his ancestor and resume his existence in a state of living death, but we talked him out of it.
  
  Anyway, we fixed the typo!
  
  Way To Kill Bugs #411: Kill 'em with fire. The method is totally up to you—a flamethrower or malfunctioning hoverboard will both do nicely.

• 2.6.4

  Oct 18, 2018
  – Want to earn more cash back to invest? Then get ready for Stash Cash Back. 'Cause last night we had a fireside chat with it, and it told us it's ready for you. (Access is limited for now, but we'll open things up soon...)
  – We corrected Coach on some grammar and organizational stuff.
  – Probably the most important update we've ever made. We added in the missing comma in our reg flow. If you noticed this, we're sorry.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #1337: Grab your vehicle and go on a splatter spree. Pwnage.

• 2.6.3

  Oct 10, 2018
  – Coach now has weekly challenges. These are designed to help you gain knowledge and diversify your portfolio. Roll out will be slow, but keep a weather eye.
  – We updated our FINRA screen in registration to give some more context around conflicts of interest.
  Way to Kill Bugs #41: Bugs can be reasonable. Sometimes, all you have to do is have a conversation...
  
  "Hey. We've been talking and feel you've been here long enough. Honestly, you're starting to overstay your welcome. So we think it's time for you to set out on your own and find a new path. Only you can discover your true bug purpose. It might take some time, but that's okay! There's always someone to talk to. Maybe not us...but you can always find another app!"

• 2.6.2

  Oct 8, 2018
  – Coach now has weekly challenges. These are designed to help you gain knowledge and diversify your portfolio. Roll out will be slow, but keep a weather eye.
  – We updated our FINRA screen in registration to give some more context around conflicts of interest.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #41: Bugs can be reasonable. Sometimes, all you have to do is have a conversation...
  
  "Hey. We've been talking and feel you've been here long enough. Honestly, you're starting to overstay your welcome. So we think it's time for you to set out on your own and find a new path. Only you can discover your true bug purpose. It might take some time, but that's okay! There's always someone to talk to. Maybe not us...but you can always find another app!"

• 2.6.1

  Sep 27, 2018
  – iOS 12 and Stash are now so compatible that they're basically in love.
  – Gifting design has been cleaned up a bit, making it easier than ever for friends and fam to send you cash to invest with a debit card.
  – The ""Done"" link on the Auto-Stash next transfer screen was blending in like a chameleon. Color fixed. (Thanks reddit!)
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #453: Eat 'em. Best with some ranch."

• 2.6.0

  Sep 17, 2018
  – Gifting magic is here. You can now share your gifting link with your friends and enemies. Then, they can decide whether you're worthy of some more cash to invest.
  – Our navigation bars were having a bit of an identity crisis. Now they're all very sure of themsevles and the color they should be.
  – The new debit account reservation flow got some needed word clean-up. It was being a slob.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #1: Use bottom of foot. #dead

• 2.5.3

  Sep 4, 2018
  This week, we took a good look around and what did we see? A couple of bugs… don't worry though—they’re gone now.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #1057: (1) Scour Earth in search of the planet's top bugs. (2) Put found bugs through a series of mental and physical endurance tests to prepare them for what's to come. (3) Sign bugs up for a one-way mission to colonize a new bug planet. (3) Launch astro-bugs into space. (4) Bugs get lost. (5) No more bugs.

• 2.5.2

  Aug 24, 2018
  This update's a minor one—just small tweaks to Coach and some bug fixes.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #476: Befriend a flock of songbirds. (Purple martins are our favorites.) Behold their feast! Join together in song!

• 2.5.1

  Aug 20, 2018
  This update's a minor one—just small tweaks to Coach and some bug fixes.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #476: Befriend a flock of songbirds. (Purple martins are our favorites.) Behold their feast! Join together in song!

• 2.5.0

  Aug 15, 2018
  This update's a minor one—just small tweaks to Coach and some bug fixes.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #476: Befriend a flock of songbirds. (Purple martins are our favorites.) Behold their feast! Join together in song!

• 2.4.6

  Aug 6, 2018
  It's update o'clock. For new users, we made some improvements to the reg flow. And for everyone, we fried some bugs...
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #1995: Grab a diamond and a communications antenna. Combine to build a Johnny-on-the-spot phasic laser. Put 'em on the endangered species list, Congo style.

• 2.4.5

  Jul 25, 2018
  This update, we smoothed a few things out and finished the week with a bug hunt, per usual.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #982: Grow a large colony of venus fly traps. Watch magic happen every day.

• 2.4.4

  Jul 16, 2018
  We ate and digested a lot of bugs this week. Here's how...
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #465: Summon army of amphibians and/or reptiles. Recommended creatures include frogs, toads, and lizards. Celebrate.

• 2.4.3

  Jun 27, 2018
  Another strong update all about bugs. We hate 'em. So we terminate them.
  Way to Kill Bugs #321: Acquire lots of pesticide. Connect to fire truck. Turn on fire hose. Liberally spray displeasing bugs. (Especially effective on fire ants.)

• 2.4.2

  Jun 25, 2018
  Another strong update all about bugs. We hate 'em. So we terminate them.
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #321: Acquire lots of pesticide. Connect to fire truck. Turn on fire hose. Liberally spray displeasing bugs. (Especially effective on fire ants.)

• 2.4.1

  Jun 13, 2018
  This update is all 'bout bashin' bugs. Look for things to be smoother than ever. And per usual it's been a pleasure...
  
  Way to Kill Bugs #125: Grab your Jumbo Ultrasonic Frequency Emitter (JUFE) available at your local Bug Bashin' store. Plug it in. Turn bottom dial three clicks to 'Bug.' Turn top dial to 'Attack.' Sit in lawn chair. Watch bugs go BOOM.