My Life at the Bottom of the Food Chain (Unabridged)
by Rich Samuels
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Thirteen year-old Alexander has the world figured out-but he's entirely wrong. He's sure that bullies are lurking around every corner in his middle school. He's certain that wedgies, swirlies and pantsings are just waiting to happen. He's even created a smartphone app to help him in his epic battle. He knows just when to pass through the school gate in the morning (7:54 a.m.), how to move through the hallways (fast!) and even how to eat (no condiments!). When Melvin, a boy in his social studies class, says he wants to talk to him after school, Alexander is sure that "talk" doesn't mean talk. He's convinced that an evil bully plot is unfolding, and it's up to him to stop it. Alexander's friends think he's crazy, and the bullies pretend to be innocent, but Alexander isn't fooled. It's time to take action and stand up for what's right. But what if he's wrong?