"It will be okay," she said, soothingly. "I'm going to hurt you, but it will be okay. As long as you obey me absolutely, I'm going to free you from all of those bad, guilty, big boy problems. You'll be my happy little boy; I promise. Now ask Mistress Mommy to punish you."
I was barely able to fight off the urge to cry, gave a single sob - of gratitude or fear or disgust or confusion, of desire or pain or relief or incredulity - and did as I had been told.