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Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down

A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse

This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device, and with iTunes on your computer. Books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.


Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here is a quick checklist:

1. Have you dug up your wife's rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?

2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?

3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?

4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?

5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?

As you can see, you need this book more than you even know. Without it, you're roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food, nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training—a part of which involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just one step below Boy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is. (Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn't have a clue). Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch Nails. Hey, don't judge . . . hoarders are survivors. Just look at squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.

If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of diseases and listening to crying babies, you've got some skills to master. But don't worry—Forrest has you covered. From spotting the signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones now so they don't come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, he provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.

Customer Reviews

Great book

I read this book and met Forrest, awesome book/fighter/and person

Awesome book

Great book. This guy does not sugar coat anything.


This is definitely not a book written by a genius by no means, but who wants to read a book like that every day? It was entertaining and funny and kept me reading for hours. It was insanely hard to put this book down. I recommend this book to anyone. As long as you have a good sense of humor and are not a stuck up yuppie.

Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down
View In iTunes
  • $7.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Sports & Outdoors
  • Published: Aug 03, 2010
  • Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
  • Seller: HarperCollins
  • Print Length: 272 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.3.1 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

Customer Ratings

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