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Down the Rabbit Hole

Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

This book can be downloaded and read in iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.


The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion—and, finally, the secret truth about the man who holds the key—from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef’s former #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door

A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend. But like Alice’s journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.

But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.

In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams—and finding the life we deserve.

Customer Reviews

Heartbreaking but also uplifting.

Holly was always my favorite of the GND and reading this only made me love her more. Bravo Holly on staying true to yourself with this book and on becoming the success we all knew you could be.

Brave and inspiring

To everyone giving her flack and assuming things, why don't you actually read the book first then form your opinion? You might be surprised. I personally found this book to be a great read; I read it in two days. Some of the things Holly shares are heartbreaking and shed a lot of light on a lifestyle that is certainly viewed as something it is not in the public eye. I think anyone who has been in a nonphysical abusive relationship will find themselves going "I can relate." Holly has survived blows to her self-esteem, as well as being manipulated and mistreated, and she came out on top with not only her own success, but a wonderful family, something she'd dreamed of for years. Maybe most inspiring is she didn't let suicidal thoughts win, but instead chose to stick around and tell her story to help others, something anyone suffering from such thoughts or depression or etc. needs hope of, that they too can make it out alive and one day help others who have been in their shoes. She is living proof your darkest hour will pass. She's a survivor and I for one am proud of her not only for opening up but for staying and fighting to get to where she is today. ❤️

I just felt sorry for her...

She made it very clear that her experience was life changing. I believe her, and more importantly the writing proves it. This was an opportunity to step away from the "blonde bimbo" status and discuss at a much deeper level what Playboy is in our society.

Unfortunately it is nothing more than a young girl's escapades through life. Trivial dribble about ex boyfriends and "Mean Girls" in what can only be described as a teenage melo-drama.

I too, have developed a stutter, Holly.

Down the Rabbit Hole
View in iTunes
  • $11.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Biographies & Memoirs
  • Published: Jun 23, 2015
  • Publisher: Dey Street Books
  • Seller: HarperCollins
  • Print Length: 352 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.3.1 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

Customer Ratings