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Good Moaning France!

Officer Crabtree’s Fronch Phrose Berk P

This book can be downloaded and read in Apple Books on your Mac or iOS device.


A favourite character from BBC TV sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo!, undercover British agent and head of Nouvion Police, Officer Crabtree, has usually sought to remain undercover if not exactly invisible—which befits his secret agent roots masquerading as a poloceman. In this delightful book, his self-taught yet masterly grasp of Fronch speaks for itself as it falls under the spotlight as never before.

From 'Ploose may I hov a kippy of the dooly nosepooper?' to 'frigs logs', 'scrimbled oggs' and 'fosh and chops' the book is a tribute to mangled words, thoughts and phrases. Arthur Bostrom, who played Crabtree on stage and screen, mixes vowels and mispronunciation as he strives to educate those less well-versed in the French longwodge.

Illustrated by John Cooper and ideal for travellers and fans of ‘Allo ‘Allo! alike, Good Moaning France! is a wake-up call for anyone conceited enough to think they are competent in French (or English or any other language for that matter). With readers’ questions answered in Ask Crabtree, examples from Crabtree’s poloce newtberks and a most unhelpful Undex.

With a Foreword by music legend Rick Wakeman and permission of the estates of ‘Allo ‘Allo! screenwriters David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd this is the perfect book for anyone crossing or travelling beneath the Channel to France.


‘Listen very carefully, you will read this more than once. I loaved it’-- Les Dennis.

'I’ve not laughed at anything like I’ve laughed at Crabtree ever in my life, this book is “very good nose”’-- Justin Moorhouse.

‘Buck your fairy trip to Fronce now and take Crabtree’s guide with you. A must-read. Hilarious’-- Su Pollard.



Arthur Bostrom appeared as Officer Crabtree in eight series of ‘Allo ‘Allo! (which is still repeated in the UK and sold to 80 countries worldwide) and also in the stage version. Born in Rugby, he graduated from the University of Durham. As an actor he has appeared in many theatrical, TV and radio productions. He is also a voice-over artist, trained life coach and member of the Royal Geographical Society.

Good Moaning France!
View in iTunes
  • $9.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Performing Arts
  • Published: Oct 24, 2018
  • Publisher: Waterside Press
  • Seller: Waterside Press
  • Print Length: 112 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: This book can only be viewed on an iOS device with Apple Books on iOS 12 or later, iBooks 1.3.1 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

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