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Holy Cow

A Novel

This book can be downloaded and read in iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.


A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won't soon forget

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.
There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can't fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.
Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.

Customer Reviews

5 Stars

absolutely stunning book written by a very talented man. LOVED it.

Holy Cow

Mr. Duchovny:
I give you a standing ovation! All sheeple should pull away from their 'God box' and read this!!

No comparison

Early in the book, the author mentions Animal Farm, no doubt in an attempt to ward off comparisons. Well, it didn't work. And Holy Cow does not fare well. Animal Farm was sneaky, and clever, and encapsulated human nature, in all its complexity, on a single farm. Holy Cow is heavy-handed and obvious.

It was well written, though. I read it all the way through. And I admire the author's goal, his point about animal cruelty. But what that means is that he could have done better. He has the writing skills. He should have left Animal Farm alone and worked more on character development and interaction. He could have done better.

I will say this: if he writes another book, I'll give it a shot. And that ain't nothing.

Holy Cow
View in iTunes
  • $9.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Fiction & Literature
  • Published: Feb 03, 2015
  • Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
  • Seller: Macmillan
  • Print Length: 224 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.5 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

Customer Ratings