A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.
"Get this for your pregnant friends, or yourself." --People
Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate Featured in People Picks
A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the year One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the year
How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper?
Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child.
Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today.
On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate--and rebuild--your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children.
Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.
Dunn (coauthor of Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir) proves herself a clever, honest, and hilarious writer who isn't afraid to take her own marriage on a great experiment. Few writers would be courageous enough to lay bare such uncomfortable truths as her verbal abuse of her husband in response to his selfishness and how it may be threatening the normal development of their daughter. This book-length intervention tackles the whole spectrum of marital stressors, including dishwasher disagreement, financial infidelity, and weekend activity management. Dunn talks to experts in their fields, including $800-per-hour family therapist Terry Real, sociologist Michael Kimmel, and marriage researchers John and Julie Gottman. Her warm and funny prose will restore hope for moms and dads everywhere, as when she writes, "I've made myself reach for his hand when a fight is looming even if I'm so irritated that I'd rather pick up a live rodent... the familiar contours of his hand remind me that this is the person I married, not the bogeyman." Her book should become a baby shower classic.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Husbands need to read this, not wives
Dunn is an excellent writer and the stories are very relatable, but HUSBANDS need to read this! It’s old news for women. I find myself disliking my husband even more as I read the book because I am thinking, “Yes my husband is the same way-So oblivious!” While every word in this book is true, so far the book is saying men are unhelpful as a whole and wives need to effectively get their husbands to change. I was hoping for a book that would help ME change my resentfulness and negative mindset towards my Husband, because that his more likely to happen then HIM changing his behavior. I can only be responsible for myself. Buy it for all the men with expecting wives...
A great listen!
Good insight for a mother to be!
Loved this book!
I loved this book! Super funny and appt on! Addictive...,I read it from cover to cover in 2 days...and I’m a mom of a 10 year old and newborn!