Opening the iTunes Store.If iTunes doesn't open, click the iTunes application icon in your Dock or on your Windows desktop.Progress Indicator
Opening the iBooks Store.If iBooks doesn't open, click the iBooks app in your Dock.Progress Indicator

iTunes is the world's easiest way to organize and add to your digital media collection.

We are unable to find iTunes on your computer. To download from the iTunes Store, get iTunes now.

Already have iTunes? Click I Have iTunes to open it now.

I Have iTunes Free Download
iTunes for Mac + PC

I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It

Confessions of a Fiftysomething

This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device, and with iTunes on your computer. Books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.


I bought a new wrinkle cream.
If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.
Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.
I ate it.

As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word.

In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.

So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

From the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

May 12, 2008 – Rudner's best known as a comedienne, appearing in films such as Peter's Friends, and performing nightly in Vegas. It's no surprise, then, that the crucial element missing from her latest (after Turning the Tables) is the little-girl-lost delivery she's famous for. As it is, the actress-screenwriter-author scribes an intermittently hilarious hodge-podge on the joys of aging, and other preoccupations. Among four dozen semi-related short pieces-comprised of anecdotes, comedy routines, lists, questions and touching vignettes-some is pure filler: a chapter on her Oscar gift basket, a tedious anecdote about a mean dad at her daughter's preschool class, "Future Reality Shows." When she hits, however, she hits big, landing absurdist gems like her chapter on getting ready to leave the house: "Being a woman is difficult... It's like being a female impersonator every single day." Though she deploys a refreshingly dry eye about the aging process, some readers will find her shtick a bit too rarified, based as it is on a distinctly privileged lifestyle.
I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It
View in iTunes
  • $11.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Humor
  • Published: May 13, 2008
  • Publisher: Crown/Archetype
  • Seller: Penguin Random House LLC
  • Print Length: 272 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.3.1 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

Customer Ratings

We have not received enough ratings to display an average for this book.

More by Rita Rudner