Screamfree Parenting, 10th Anniversary Revised Edition
How to Raise Amazing Adults by Learning to Pause More and React Less
Hal Runkel, LMFT
This book can be downloaded and read in iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.
You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . Tonight
ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. It’s about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids’ behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family.
It’s time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you’ve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight.
Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents.
If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge.
What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what.
Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach that’s inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to:
focus on yourself
calm yourself down, and
grow yourself up
By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process.
ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. It’s the first parenting
book that maintains—from beginning to end—that parenting is NOT about kids . . . it’s about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids’ behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships.
For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. It’s not. Here’s why: we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids—we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many “experts” keep giving us more tools (“techniques”) to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become.
“Don’t make me come up there.” “Don’t make me pull this car over.” “How many times do I have to tell you?” Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us.
It’s no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just don’t work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing.
This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
Hi..just wanted to add my two cents. I heard a repeat broadcast on Sirius xm doctor radio with you on as a special guest. I only heard about 15 minutes of the show, but it left me wanting to learn more about your ideas. I downloaded the book and finished it in a few hours...I think it may have changed my life. I am hoping that it, or I will change my life. I know most of the mistakes I am making, but feel I know have a strategy. I will keep you updated, I want to say thank you, but feel it might be inadequate.
This is an excellent book! A must read for any parent or parent to be. You owe it to yourself, to your spouse and to your kids to read this book. There are no gimmicks or tricks to raising kids.
The author does an amazing job on explaining what he calls ScreamFree Parenting. He also stays very real through out the whole book: as you read you can feel and understand where he is coming from. It never feels like is trying to sell you a quick fix nor do you feel that he is just giving a spiel.
It is a great read and it should be part of your collection!
A wonderful and timely message for every parent. I identified so deeply with the issues addressed and feel hopeful with what I learned. Highly recommend!