Intimacy & Desire
Awaken the Passion In Your Relationship
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Many couples begin marital counseling with Dr. David Schnarch with their sex lives in shambles, wondering what's wrong with them, considering divorce. One partner will complain that the other doesn't desire him, the other complains that she's married to a sex maniac. During his 30 years in practice as a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Schnarch has discovered that sexual desire problems are normal and even healthy, in committed relationships.In Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.
From Publishers Weekly
© Publishers Weekly
The content of this book is like Neo waking up I'm the movie "The Matrix", it teaches you what makes you tick, it's the code that is running your sexual lack of desire, and by knowing the code you can change your relationship and life. So, do you want to swallow the pill? If you do, I think you'll be amazed at what Schnarch knows about relationships, and how easily he delivers this knowledge to you. It's the answer to awakening that which used to be there, but is now gone - and bringing you to heights never previously achieved. Highly recommended!!!j
Intimacy and desire
Seems like this should be required reading for anyone who is interested in having a committed relationship. Schnarchs premise is that ALL relationships hit roadblocks/gridlock and even teaches that we should welcome them- because it is necessary for our growth. I had a hard time getting used to his anecdotal stories at the beginning- they seemed cheesy and overly simplistic. But as the book went on, I realized how well these anecdotes illustrate the concepts he's presenting.
Inspires hope for relationships and provides concrete strategies for improvement. This book was a game changer for my thoughts and behaviors within my relationship.
Read his other books
I have read all of David Schnarch's books, even the big thick Sexual Crucible book. I think he is brilliant. But this book is my least favorite of them all. It has some new good material, but it is muddled. He spends way way way way too much time telling is theory of the history of sexual evolution instead of focusing on the here and now and what he has actually observed works. When he spends so much time explaining his theories, which have no observable proof, it makes the things he says about now seem less credible.
His theories of re-wiring your brain through sex feel more like they were written for his colleagues in sexual therapy instead of married couples. There was some good content there, but it got into the technical weeds if you are looking for practical help. It would have been better to just talk about our brains getting stuck in certain ways of feeling and reacting and how this helps break you out of your stuck place in your brain. Anyway, something far less technical and theoretical would have been more helpful for most couples.
Again, I highly recommend all his other work. But avoid this one unless you have read everything else first.