It's Not You, It's Him
The Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating
Georgia Witkin, Ph.D.
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You're smart and cute and fun to be around. So naturally you wonder why you’re still single. Well, here's a news flash: It’s Not You, It’s Him!
This book will make dating fun again—and help you find the love you always dreamed of
“Why is this book for single women? Because we think about relationships, and talk about relationships, much more than single men do. And when things go wrong, we’re also much more likely to blame ourselves! We ask ourselves, “What’s wrong with me?” “What did I do?” “What should I have done differently?” Well, maybe, just maybe you are not the problem. Maybe, just maybe, you’d still be single even if you were perfect. Maybe the men you’re meeting have the problems. Maybe it’s not you, it’s him!
Actually, there’s no maybe about it. Your aunt in Florida, your married brother, and your gym friends are wrong—you are not single because you’re too picky, too pushy, or a princess. Besides, even if you were, picky, pushy princesses get married every day. And so will you. So let’s get real and get you the life you want.”
--Dr. Georgia Witkin, from…
It’s Not You, It’s Him
In her upbeat new “rules” for finding lasting love, Dr. Georgia Witkin shows that the secret to dating without all the pain is to assume that you are perfectly lovable exactly as you are. When a good date goes bad, the problem is never you. It’s him!
Suddenly dating is so simple. You will never again ask “why didn’t he call?” It doesn’t matter. You will never ask, “How should I change?” You don’t have to. Instead you will do what you want, go where you want, wear what you want, and it will only make you more perfect. You will take everything dates say and do as information about them—not you. You will have zero tolerance when you’re getting zero. You will feel happy, in control, and actually enjoy dating again. And before too long, the new you will fall wildly in love with a man who is just perfect enough to find you irresistible.
Not over the hill
At age 64 I was beginning to wonder what was going on in my attempts at dating. Widowed for the last 11 years I am a vital, fit, intelligent, professional, financially independent woman. Yet the online sites I tried (match.com, harmony, seniorpeoplemeet.com, etc) were full of guys wearing ball caps, scruffy clothes, and their profiles were disappointing. This book has actually shifted my whole perspective to the positive side. Yes, there are fewer available men in my age range. But frankly I needed the "practice" of going on coffee dates with as many of the "possibles" as I could manage. My attitude shifted from a "checklist" of what I wanted to a "discovery" if the guy had any of the qualities I liked. I found that most guys don't know how to communicate and haven't done much introspection about what they want. So it is up to me to be clear what makes me happy and give each guy with potential time to unfold through conversation and activities. I am very happy to have just a handful of men "friends" who demonstrate the qualities and values I hold dear until I meet a guy with those things AND chemistry. I no longer bang my head on my desk when I go online! This book was invaluable in getting clarity and setting my intention.
- Category: Psychology
- Published:Jan 10, 2006
- Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
- Seller: Random House, LLC
- Print Length: 192 Pages
- Language: English