Kingdom of the Snark: Tragedy in the Wine Cellar

As noted by the not so humble narrator in “Kingdom of the Snark: The Quest for the Sword,” the monastery of Quaal defended their home and their lives from the nunnery in what was known as the War of the Nuns. There used to be many books filled with poems and songs that go on and on (to the point of driving a reader to tears) which explained how they survived. Unfortunately (or fortunate for those who cannot endure such poetic tortures), most of these pages were lost to the ages: some books were lost, others went up in smoke when the buildings they were housed in caught fire, and some were merely misplaced somewhere and never found again. On one occasion of note a keeper’s cousin ran out of the tissue of ass wiping and thusly a few chapters were lost to his cheeks. However, a few pages did survive the above tribulations, and the “Tragedy in the Wine Cellar” is one of those tales.

Sister Ferriera, Mother Superior, and her army of nuns have attacked the monastery’s steeple during their evening prayer service. The monks and their adopted Questers-in-training are quickly surrounded and face certain death. Their only hope lies within two of their best teenage fighters. Unfortunately, Joel the Brave convinced Renee the Righteous to ditch the service and have some inebriated fun in the monastery’s wine cellar. When the murderous nuns make their way through that underground maze, it is the two warriors who are in need of rescue. Can Renee and Joel save themselves in time to rescue the monastery, or will everyone die a terrible death at the hands of horny nuns? Good thing there is plenty of wine to go around.

“Kingdom of the Snark: Tragedy in the Wine Cellar” is a short story which chronologically takes place between chapters two and three of “Kingdom of the Snark: The Quest for the Sword.” Although it was written in the style of a “ye old” fantasy, it was made to be enjoyed by adults.