My Custom Van
And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face
Michael Ian Black
This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device, and with iTunes on your computer. Books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.
Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*.
How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade."
Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all.
Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead.
And this flap copy.
* Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
Proceed with caution
I fudging loved this book. I was like a kid with precious stash of Halloween candy, only allowing myself one story/essay at a sitting. I lol'd frequently. Unfortunately I eventually finished it. I will now re-read it while I wait for his next book, which I believe is based on real events. In the meantime just watch his Twitter feed for a seemingly endless stream of paranoid hilarity. MIB is a seriously great writer. Wish I could experience this book for the first time, again. I also hope someone made Billy Joel read this.