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Seriously...I'm Kidding

This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device, and with iTunes on your computer. Books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.


I've experienced a lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?

Publishers Weekly Review

Aug 22, 2011 – This latest collection of humorous riffs from DeGeneres (The Funny This Is...) goes down as easily as one of the comedian and talk show host’s monologues. Arranged loosely around the idea of happiness and how she’s found it, the term “loosely” is used loosely, since DeGeneres veers into topics as diverse as mirrors that magnify your pores (avoid them) and the secret of life (spoiler: it’s kale). She’s at her best and wittiest when her mind leapfrogs from topic to topic, as in the segue—or lack of one—between a chapter entitled “Ideas,” in which DeGeneres recounts a thought that once came to her while hanging upside down in a Pilates machine, and “Gambling,” where the reader learns such helpful tips as if you don’t win the slot machine jackpot, don’t despair, just go to the roulette table. There’s also a smattering of serious issues—identity, homosexuality and gay marriage; inner beauty; and the dangers of labels and stereotypes—but DeGeneres handles each with humor: in “Babies, Animals, and Baby Animals,” she addresses the much-asked question of whether or not she and wife Portia de Rossi will have children (no, but she can tell which end of a baby you feed). Whatever the topic, DeGeneres’s compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new.

Customer Reviews

Funny but too short

The book wasn't really what I had expected. It was very noncommittal in the fact there was no real insight into Ellen's life...just funny little quips and analogies. I was hoping to read something "real"....this was not it! Kind of feel like I wasted my money. If I wanted standup comedy, I could tune into her tv show. I wanted to gain some insight into her as a person!

Already love it

Just got my email that my preordered book was ready to download. I'm sitting here reading it, full out laughing aloud. Cannot wait to read more!!!!!!! Ellen is so great!

Love it!

She's so funny! I couldn't stop laughing

Seriously...I'm Kidding
View In iTunes
  • $9.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Humor
  • Published: Oct 04, 2011
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • Seller: Hachette Digital, Inc.
  • Print Length: 256 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.5 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

Customer Ratings