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Shame

Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem

This book can be downloaded and read in Apple Books on your Mac or iOS device.

Description

An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame—often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism—that offers a new, positive route forward

Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us—about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.”

Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, author Joseph Burgo argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem.

Richly illustrated with clinical stories from Burgo's 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.

From Publishers Weekly

Nov 19, 2018 – While shame is at least a small part of everyone's life, it can be a source of empowerment for change, writes psychotherapist Burgo in this approachable book. Instead of minimizing feelings of shame and self-hatred, he argues, readers should embrace these emotions. Burgo believes that people can be liberated by finding joy in sharing painful stories with others, setting realistic expectations for personal goals, and acknowledging the aspects of shame that may never change. He considers case studies from his 35 years of practice and builds a composite profile of personality types he's seen (such as narcissists, addicts, shut-ins, and pleasers), and shares some of his own struggles dealing with shame. Relying on and heavily referencing the work of Andrew Solomon and Bren Brown, he also uses different metaphors and charts in order to help readers see the various ways shame may be working in their lives and learn how it can be used to create pride instead of pain. Exercises at the end of the book will also help readers build self-awareness and avoid perfectionism (with an emphasis on setting and meeting goals and taking pride in one's accomplishments). Using insight from his own career and other current work in psychotherapy , Burgo dispels the myth that shame has to be toxic.
Shame
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  • $14.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Self-Improvement
  • Published: Nov 06, 2018
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Seller: Macmillan
  • Print Length: 304 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: This book can only be viewed on an iOS device with Apple Books on iOS 12 or later, iBooks 1.5 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

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