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This Is Not My Beautiful Life

A Memoir

This book can be downloaded and read in iBooks on your Mac or iOS device.

Description

ONE OF PUBLISHERS WEEKLY'S TEN MOST ANTICIPATED MEMOIRS OF THE SEASON

IF YOU THINK IT SUCKS TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU’RE THIRTY-SIX AND NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, JUST WAIT TILL THE DEA COMES KNOCKING (WITH THE IRS IN TOW): WELCOME TO VICTORIA FEDDEN’S LIFE.

When a squad of federal agents burst through her parents’ front door, Victoria Fedden felt ill-prepared to meet them: She was weeks away from her due date and her T-shirt wasn’t long enough to hide her maternity undies. As for the question of how to raise a child when you’ve just discovered that your mother and stepfather have allegedly masterminded a pump-and-dump scheme? She was pretty sure that wasn’t covered in What to Expect When You’re Expecting—and she really hoped that Bradford Cohen, the noted criminal defense attorney who famously waived his exemption on The Apprentice, would prove them innocent.

This Is Not My Beautiful Life is the story of how Victoria lost her parents to prison and nearly lost her mind. No one ever said motherhood would be easy, but as she struggles to change diapers, install car seats, and find the right drop-off line at pre-school—no easy task, when each one is named for a stage in the lifecycle of a f*cking butterfly—she’s also forced to ask herself whether a jump-suit might actually complement her mom’s platinum-blonde extensions and fend off the cast of shady, stranger-than-fiction characters (like the recovering addict who scored a reality show when he started an escort service for women) who populated her parents’ world.

A real-life Arrested Development that could only unfold in southern Florida, This Is Not My Beautiful Life is a hilariously funny and unexpectedly moving memoir of a just-functional family you’ll never forget.

From Publishers Weekly

Feb 22, 2016 – One morning, when Fedden is nine-months pregnant and living with her parents while her house is renovated, her life is completely upended. Federal agents turn up at the South Florida mansion and arrest Fedden's mother and stepfather on felony charges relating to penny stocks and wire fraud. Fedden, whose places a high priority on caring for her troubled family, details with unfailing honesty and humor the joys and meltdowns of the next several years, as she devolves into a stressed-out mother with postpartum depression. Meanwhile, her parents await trial dates. Motherhood for Fedden is harrowing rather than blissful, as she deals with a needy baby, a husband who's often on the road, and her struggles with self-worth. She finds it hard to value herself as a parent and woman despite having fought her way from dropping out of high school to becoming a writer and teacher with a graduate degree. Fedden's mother and stepfather, on the other hand, are straight out of a Carl Hiaasen novel: AARP-age criminals who take pride in having a couch that was used in a porn film, shop at Costco, and are friends with gigolos, Russian mobsters, and singer Michael Bolton, among others. When Fedden finally establishes boundaries with her parents and gives her mental health overdue attention, she gains back much of her self that she'd lost, proving that even when one is overwhelmed by the wackiest of surroundings, change and happiness are possible.
This Is Not My Beautiful Life
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  • $9.99
  • Available on iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, and Mac.
  • Category: Biographies & Memoirs
  • Published: Jun 07, 2016
  • Publisher: Picador
  • Seller: Macmillan / Holtzbrinck Publishers, LLC
  • Print Length: 336 Pages
  • Language: English
  • Requirements: To view this book, you must have an iOS device with iBooks 1.5 or later and iOS 4.3.3 or later, or a Mac with iBooks 1.0 or later and OS X 10.9 or later.

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