Attention HellMart Shoppers!
By Thoreau Smiley
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Attention HellMart Shoppers! is a twice monthly horror/comedy audio-drama. Join the staff of HelloMart, a big box super-store built on top of the gates of hell, as they battle the forces of evil in order to bring you the best customer service minimum wage can provide.
||ExplicitA HellMart Halloween 2018||The Pumpkin King has returned! Will he battle Jimmy to the death? Probably not.||10/28/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitI have a New Show!||Thoreau here! I made a new show! It's called 1994 and it's premiering September 17th, 2018, but for now here's the very frist teaser trailer! If you like HellMart I think you'll like 1994. It stars James Oliva, Jordan Cobb, Paul Miscavage,...||9/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitJuly Special: Chet and Danny Blow Stuff Up!||Independence day is approaching in Strickland and there's trouble in the basement. With special guest star Sarah Golding as Regional Manager Melinda Ashe. Follow us on Twitter @thehellomart Like us on Facebook at HellMart Podcast Go to...||7/12/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitScenes From A HellMart: Meat Cute||Attention HellMart Shoppers! We have a brand new Mini-Episode just for you! This tells the tale of (not so) young love in the meat department of HelloMart. We are also just dollars away from making our first Patreon goal. We briefly slipped past it in..||5/20/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanApril Announcement||Attention HellMart Shoppers! Hi everyone, Thoreau here. This is just a quick post to let you all know about two new things we've got going on in the HelloMart this month. First, we have an Easter Episode available for you to listen to. It’s a...||4/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 16: There's No Place Like Hell||SEASON 1 FINALE! It's the big showdown at the Hell Gates! Chet makes a choice, Jake has something to crow about and Daniel says stuff that makes people upset. Don't skip out early, the after credits teaser has a very special guest star, and...||3/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 15: Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My TV||After the big heist the gang is on the run. Chet reaches out to an old adversary, and Merle gets to go for a ride. This is the penultimate episode of season one. With guest star Paul Sating as Sherrif McCoy. Attention HellMart Shoppers! is Patron...||2/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 14: Jimmy's Eleven||Jimmy and his crew stage a heist. Chet also does a thing...kind of. This Episode features Jake Song as Security Guy 1, Laura Bramblette as Security Guy 2, and Jesse Hall as Security Guy 3. Help support the show on Patreon Attention...||2/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 13: Working Stiffs||Chet interviews some prospective employees and Daniel and Emily pay a visit to Billy Ray, the Leprechaun. Attention HellMart Shoppers! is listener supported. Go to OUR PATREON to pledge your support. For just $1 a month you can help us stay...||1/21/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 12 : Chet and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day||Chet deals with customers, employees, family, and his own shortcomings as manager. Please support us on PATREON! Go to http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers to get bonus episodes, early access to new episodes, Stickers, Wallpapers, Music...||1/8/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitA Cold Christmas In Hell||It's Christmas Eve and Emily arrives in town with no money, no job and a terrible apartment. Will a christmas miracle solve all her problems? Maybe she'll be visited by jolly old St. Nick! It's another holiday flashback episode and this one has...||12/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanHoliday Schedule Announcement||Attention HellMart Shoppers! Thoreau here! This is just a quick update on our schedule for the holidays and the remainder of season 1. Our Christmas special is coming Monday, December 18th, and will be the only episode released in December, and our...||11/26/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 11: Chicken Little Big Man||Daniel uncovers a nefarious scheme at the chicken farm, but is it too late for him to escape? We are entirely listener supported. Help support us and get great bonus content at http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers follow us on twitter...||11/20/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 10: All The Unborn Chicken Voices In My Head||Daniel struggles to make friends at his new job. Plus more chickens. We are listener supported! visit our patreon for tons of great bonus content! http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers follow us on twitter @thehellomart like us on facebook at...||11/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitChet's (Mini) Halloween Spooktacular! 3||Chet must face the Pumpkin Kng one last time...alone! Visit our patreon to see all the great bonus content available to you now! https://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers.com Follow us on twitter @thehellomart Like us on facebook at...||10/30/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitJimmy and Chets (Mini) Halloween Spooktacular 2||Guess who's back! Jimmy and Chet face the Pumpkin King again. Will it be a grim battle to the death? Probably not. Go to our Patreon to get extra episodes and tons of great perks and merchandise! http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers Follow us...||10/23/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitJimmy and Chet's Halloween Spooktacular!||It's 2005 and Halloween brings a visitor and a new employee. With special guest star Rhiannon McAfee! We are Listener supported! Visit http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers You too can get bonus episodes, early acces to new episodes and so much..||10/16/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanBig News!||Big News, Everyone! We are launching our PATREON! I love making this show. It's a true passion of mine, and I'd like to make as much of it as I can! That's where you come in! What do you get out of becoming a Patron? ...||10/9/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 9: Mommy's Little Monster||The gang is interviewed about the goings on at the store. Jimmy has a choice to make and Emily prepares for the joys of motherhood. Stay tuned, our PATREON launches in ONE WEEK! Keep up to date by following us on twitter @thehellomart Like us on...||10/2/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 8: Dante's Disco Inferno - Part II||Zombie Dance Party! Like us on Facebook! Follow us on twitter! Go to http://attentionhellmartshoppers.com. Attention Hellmart Shoppers! is a part of the Fatecrafters Network. We reccomend other high quality and entertaining Fatecrafters shows such as..||9/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 7: Dante's Disco Inferno - Part I||It's Sample Day! The store is extra busy, Emily deals with a delicate situation and it's a party in electronics! Please leave us an itunes review! Like us on Facebook! Follow us on Twitter! Visit our website at attentionhellmartshoppers.com. Attention..||9/4/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 6: Love Will Tear Us Apart : Part II||Jake feels like Chicken Tonight. Everyone else wants to get some Armando Ferrari and no one seems especially worried about the interdimensional pirate attack. Review us on iTunes, follow us on twitter, like us on facebook!||8/21/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 5: Love Will Tear Us Apart - Part I||The guys meet Valerie's fiance, who may not be entirely on the up and up and Chet bakes some cookies. Evil Cookies. Review us on itunes! Follow us on Twitter! Like us on Facebook!||8/7/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 4: The Phantom Shoplifter - Part II||The gang searches for the Phantom Shoplifter's hoard and have an unexpected meeting in the basement while Jimmy and Ruth deal with the murderous Leprechaun. Please consider leaving us an iTunes review, following us on twitter @thehellomart or liking...||7/24/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 3: The Phantom Shoplifter - Part I||Daniel and Emily are hungover after a night out and a customer is looking for a toy. Also there's a thing with a leprechaun. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter @thehellomart and review us on iTunes!||7/10/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 2: Chekov's Shoelaces - Part II||Daniel has an unfortunate phone conversation and spills a little blood. He may or may not find those shoelaces. Please leave us a review on iTunes and follow us on twitter @thehellomart||6/25/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEpisode 1: Chekov's Shoelaces - Part I||Daniel Richmond was living the good life in the elite world of New York finance when he took the fall for his firm's dirty dealings. Now he's out of jail on work release and he has to figure out how to make it at HelloMart, a big box store in the...||6/25/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSeason 1 Trailer||Daniel Richmond was living the high life in Manhattan when he was convicted of a few dozen counts of securities fraud and some light treason, but he served his time. In fact he's out of prison early and enrolled in a work release...||5/21/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTeaser||Join the adventures of the staff of HelloMart, a big box super store, unfortunately situated above the gates of hell. These retail wage slaves battle the forces of evil while bringing you the best in minimum wage customer service.||4/20/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
This show is edgy and funny! So many easter eggs! Give it a listen if you enjoy things like Hello from the Magic Tavern, A Scottish Podcast, Atheist Apocalypse, Audioblivious Productions.
Awesome dark comedy
This will be one of those podcasts that will always brighten your day. It's hilarious, while also addressing (if comedically) the soul-draining work that can happen at a retail store. Great sound design, wonderful intro, and I'm looking forward to more in the future. Try it out!
Heard about on Reddit
Great voice acting and a funny story. Hope there's more.