Bear Friend Tea Party
By Flowers of Disgust
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The world's ONLY podcast. Featuring the members of highly influential noise-pop supergroup, Flowers of Disgust talking about stuff and making noises, music and sounds.
||Explicit00028 Rooster||Giant Chewy SweeTARTS®, Snot & Tears: Stan Freberg (1926-2015), Inappropriate Things to Do with Those Pneumatic Tubes They Have at Banks, ...Who Said That??!||10/24/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00032 Businessman Pretending to Be a Train||Listener Emails, Corrections & Addenda Segment 1 – As Bees Bears in Honey Drown: Beekeeping Advice Segment 2 – Reciting Four Famous Speeches at Once Segment 4 – Predictions: Spice Girls Death Order Songs: Purple Rain On the Sunny Si||1/17/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00049 Naughty Ol’ Human Head Sitting There||2016 Halloween Spook-tacular||10/31/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00048 Trilobites Are Doin’ It For Themselves||Reminiscing about funny moments from past episodes of BFTP Great ppl w/ horrible hair Christopher Winter ad-libs the inner monologues of various animals by request||10/17/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00046 Monkey Versions of C-List Celebrities||Jeff Goldblums Throughout History, Dinner Party Gone Wrong Clichés!, How Many People Can We Name?||9/23/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00045 An Eternally Recursive Sequence Of Self Spawning Snoop Doggy Doggs||Ethics Panel: If you order water at a restaurant with self-service fountain drinks, is it ok to get the club soda? Can you put a lemon wedge in it?, Lesser Known Mnemonic Devices, How to Clean a Bathtub in Exactly 32 Steps, Reviews of movies haint none||8/28/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00044 Richard Dreyfuss in a Bear Costume||Reminiscing About People We Have Killed in Self-Defense, Nagging Question: Can You Really Make Gin in an Old Bathtub? Fake Toilet Parts Classic Ill-Fated Fast-Food Ventures: The Burger King Kingdom Show Notes: Is Richard Dreyfus still alive? How to make||8/21/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00043 People Posing as Colonel Sanders||Can Somebody PLEASE Explain Henry Rollins to Me???, How many randomly selected topics can I definitively settle in 60 seconds?, A Series of Controversial Statements, Pt. III, Classic Hip Hop Skits||5/11/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00042 How High are Your Roundhouse Kicks?||5 randomly selected topics in 5 minutes Slang Terms for Egg Nog Is Neil DeGrasse Tyson a member of the Harlem Globetrotters? Flowers of Disgust Ethics Panel: Duck Tales “Allowance Day” (1989) wherein Scrooge’s nephews trick him into thi||3/29/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00041 All About Duck Eggs||Is Mistletoe B******t?, Classic Hip-Hop Singles: Positive Ks I Got a Man (1991), 46 Euphemisms for Breasts, Ranked from Most to Least Appealing||3/14/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00039 The Age of Complex Sandwiches||Classic Ill-Fated Fast-Food Ventures: The McDLT, A Series of Controversial Statements Pt. II, 50 Fictional Horse Blitz Quiz, Pancakes V. Waffles.||12/20/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00026 The 1955 Where Everybody has Green Dicks||2015 Serious Episode. Serious Discussion: Dark Leviathan, by Henry Farrell, Serious Discussion: The AI Revolution: The Road to Superintelligence, by Tim Urban, Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners Delivered Flatly and without Emotion, Serious Discussion: Time||11/19/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00038 I’m Your DJ Now||2015 Halloween Spooktacular. What Be Spookin Ya? Spooky Soundscape, Classic Hip-Hop Albums: Hes the DJ, Im the Rapper (1988), How Many Ghosts Can We Name?||11/4/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00024 Not in a Basketball Mood||Lesser-known methods of egg preparation, Expounding on 10 random topics, Special Guest: Dr. Jonathan Bumpers||10/12/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00036 Human Teeth||What root vegetable am I thinking of?, Issuing sincere, heartfelt public apologies to Buzz Aldrin for disrespectful/combative tone of previous week’s special guest segment, Simultaneous Unrelated Discussions #, Jeremy Mullis from North Carolina quits||10/9/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00033 The Otis Hypotenuse||Reminiscing about dogs we have known, Slang terms for escalator, How many NES games can we name in 2 minutes, What are the rules of American Football?, Is this a Hall & Oates Song?||10/7/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00037 Larry Bird’s Penis||Slang Terms for Pogo Stick, Talking Smack About Barnyard Animals / Surprise Quiz: Korean TV Drama or B******t Thing I Made Up? A Series of Controversial Statements||9/24/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00031 A Decorative Confectionery of Tiny Balls||I Dont Like Kettle Corn and F*** You if you Have a Problem with That, I Hate All Public Radio Comedic Programming, Who Heres Driven any Funny Vehicles? Songs: Horse Standing There, The Hucklebuck||7/15/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00029 John Hughes’ Ring Cycle||Correct Way to Play Air Saxophone, How Many Daves Can We Name? The Philosophical Problem with the Whole Left Shark Meme, Classic Cartoons of the 80s and 90s: Disneys Adventures of the Gummi Bears||6/29/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00022 The True Prophet of the Abrahamic Tradition||2014 Christmas Special. Are Christmas Novelty Songs B******t? Fake Addresses. Name that Santa. Most Insipid Christmas Song. Plus various Christmas favorites performed poorly.||5/27/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00027 Oversized Inexplicable Green Hat||Classic Hip-Hop Albums: The Fat Boys’ “Crushin” (1987), How many Steves can we name?||4/23/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00025 Build that Machine into an Anthropomorphized Chair||Members of Metallica in order of importance, Distinctions between Slime, Grime and Sludge, Bad Things Bout the Boy Scouts, Imperial Measurement System in the US (Seriously, what the f***?).||4/15/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00021 A Gresham’s Law of Cookies||Are holiday cookie exchanges b******t? Sensual, sexual or erotic? 10 minutes of buzzing noises after a 4 count.||3/10/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00020 The Jefferson Abacus||Classic Hip-Hop Albums: The Chronic, Thats Showbiz!, Is The Constitution B******t?, Bears or Bees?||3/1/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00023 Generally Confused about This Whole Turning-into-a-Gun Thing||Listener “Emails”. If all the beards had a fight, who would win? Horrible people with great hair. Talking about a ham that looks like Alf. Most sexual Transformer. Funniest integer.||1/26/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00017 Handheld, Messy and Bigger than Your Head||Whats Up with Science? Can somebody PLEASE explain David Bowie to me? Who heres been to the moon? Cats, the musical. Several whimsical notions.||12/8/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00019 A Bloody Elk Carcass Stuffed with Bonbons||Halloween Spook-tacular, Blowing bubbles at weddings: cute or incredibly stupid? Shonen Knife, What is B******t about Piñatas these Days. Purchasing Glue in Bulk, Piñatas, Cannibal Corpse, Piñatas, Which VHS tape am I about to hold up?? Piñatas.||11/4/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00018 William Howard Taft||What famous fat person am I? Wholly unmotivated verbal abuse. Who is the funniest U.S. President?||10/28/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00015 I Got No Problem with Tarts||Pie; Who wants to give me, personally, a job; Sneaking Out of the Hospital Clichés; Sexy, Sensual or Erotic?||10/8/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00016 What I Don’t Like About ZZ Top||Spontaneous Unmotivated Verbal Abuse, ZZ-Top, Favorite Web Comics, Slang Terms for Helicopter||9/18/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00014 Extremely Depressing Temp Work||Soul-crushing jobs, relationships with women, music theory, mopeds, motor vehicle registration.||8/23/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00012 Horseshoe F***ing Crab||Top 10 least historic animals, Bear Friend Tea Party catch phrase search, Pretzels: Chips or Crackers? Plus Nick Cave, strangling birds, Dudes with Attitude and various unnecessary cat anecdotes.||7/16/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00011 What Would Happen if You Drove a Train Underwater?||What would Happen if you drove a train underwater? Judge Jon Gibson: That thing about collaborating with MC Hammer. What’s happened to the Bobcat Bite?? Let’s all mute our headphones for 13 minutes and record audio completely independently||6/13/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00009 The Pumpkin was Made of Straw?!||What are our spirit animals?, Judge Jon Gibson, Hilarious visual gags [The Harlem Globetrotters], Hay vs Straw, etc.||5/16/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00008 Realism, Liberalism, and Constructivism in Contemporary International Relations Theory||Just why is it that basketball is so humorous? Who Among Us Can Name The Most Fictional/Non-Canonical Smurfs? Realism, Liberalism, and Constructivism in Contemporary International Relations Theory What Are Some Podcasts More Enjoyable Than This One?||5/5/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00007 And the Doctor was Nicholas Cage All Along||Mansplainin, Surprise Attack Fun-Time Tea Party Extreme Quiz Zone, That sweet periodic table my girlfriend and I drew on my bathroom wall. Also bra-sizing, various songs, jokes and stuff.||4/21/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00006 Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch||Topics: Jobs where it’s not appropriate for the person doing that job to be overtly sexy Is it cool when airplanes crash? What’s up with the space program anyway? What’s Going on with our Band? (Upcoming Releases, Summer Tour rumors?) S||4/11/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00005 A Persistent Droning Noise||A mercifully brief episode of Bear Friend Tea Party featuring a persistent droning noise, some ambient jams and impromptu covers of “Dixie Flyer” and “Last Night on the Back Porch”. Topics Include: Domain Hijacking Job Interview D||3/25/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00004 Alley Cat Thinkin’ About FIsh||Topics Include: Best and worst time-travel movies and time travel generally, F****n Geese, am I right?, Lets take turns saying humorous words, Rattle Me Bones!||3/10/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit00003 Easy Listenin’ Music||Topics Include: Whither American monetary policy in the Janet Yellen era? What’s the difference between Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck? BFTP Podcast metadata quandary! Snot and Tears: Phillip Seymour Hoffman Also, Surprise Attack Fun-Time Tea Party||2/19/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean00001 Clay vs Walnut Cat Litter||The episode that started it all. Episode 00001 was plagued with technical difficulties and missing a major player. Topics include “Clay vs Walnut Cat Litter”, and other instant classics.||1/15/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
I am on this podcast, It’s ok.
I am on this podcast and I download it every week to boost our numbers. Likewise, I am giving this podcast 5 stars to promote it so we can get some sweet sponsorship deals and stuff. I can’t, in good conscience, recommend listening to this podcast, but I highly recommend downloading it and leaving a positive review.
This podcast is pretty ok, as far as non-Star Trek related podcasts go. I think you, personally, would enjoy it. The hosts are very informative about a wide range of topics for which they occasionally even prepare in advance, and their banter is consistently endearing. Whether you are a die-hard Flowers of Disgust groupie, or just a casual fan of noise, or just a fan of Die Hard, you should totally check it out.
The Choice Is Yours
Okay, let’s be frank.
A lot of people out there do NOT want you to listen to this podcast. And they’re going to spin all kinds of crazy, desperate lies to turn you off. They’ll probably say this podcast is “self-indulgent” or “mediocre” or “too long.” They’ll talk about its shoddy production values, its tiresome and inexplicable running jokes, its interminable musical interludes. They’ll do whatever they can—anything—to make you feel like a hayseed and a rube for even thinking about listening.
And don’t kid yourself: if words aren’t enough, they will take action. They are organized , they are determined, and they have resources beyond anything you could possibly imagine. If you choose to listen to this podcast, in the face of all the forces arrayed against it, you will almost certainly lose your job and all your earthly possessions. Your family and friends will abandon you. You will be homeless, an outcast, cursed to wander the back roads, living in the shadows. And after all that, might they even resort to physical violence? Don’t think for a moment that they wouldn’t.
So, all that is on one side of the scales. And on the other? Only this: Bear Friend Tea Party might—just might—be the single greatest podcast in the history of human civilization. It might help you while away a lonely hour. It might make you giggle. It might, occasionally, make you think. Is that enough? Could any podcast, however mind-blowing, be worth the pain and heartache that a seat at the Bear Friend Tea Party will invariably bring?
I can’t tell you that. It’s a decision you have to make on your own. All I can do is advise you to think, long and hard. Before you click that “subscribe” button, ask yourself: is it worth it?