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Ettin News

By Ettin News

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What if Dear Abby and Dear Prudence were a giant two headed monster?" We (Violet & Petunia, the ettin) answer questions and give advice on topics such as: "What exactly constitutes a town, and why exactly does that not enclude basically anything monster owned and operated?" "What are your thoughts on necromancy as a renewable source of minions?" "Is that screaming coming from *my* basement?" Other points include: The bias inherent in non-monster produced bestiaries. Bridging the gaps between adventurers and monsters, in the hopes of curbing some of the more reckless murder. The best way to cook via murder hole.

Customer Reviews

Unbiased review

Finally, a voice for all us monsters! Violet and Petunia are an ettin on a mission. What that mission is...I'm not exactly sure, but it comes with a sprinkle of humor, vicera, and cooking suggestions. Definitely give these guys a listen!


This podcast is absolutely hilarious and this review is in no way biased by the fact that I'm married to one of the hosts.

Monstrously good

They say two heads are better than one. In this case (whoever they are), they're definitely right. The basic structure of the show is a lot of fun. You've got a two-headed giant (an ettin) dispensing life advice, reading announcements about the fictional town where they live, and generally discussing what life is like for the monster community in their fantasy setting.

Some of the stories/questions/announcements/topics are written by the hosts to set the tone of the world in which Violet and Petunia live, including several bits that develop over time. For instance, there's Karen, the pretentious passive aggressive Brownie (like, the fey, not the dessert) baker. Though she does bake desserts. Or Nestor, the wizard who was a total jerk to Violet and with whom Petunia TOTALLY doesn't hang out.

But many of the topics are user submissions, in the style of newspaper announcements or Dear Abby advice questions, obituaries, etc. Submit questions about how to date a werewolf, dragon fashion, speciesism, or what seasonings to use on delicious goblin meat. Many of the questions and stories are posed from the point of view of monsters and/or the adventurers that hunt them down in a typical Dungeons & Dragons-style universe.

There's nothing quite as satisfying as hearing a story or question you've personally submitted get ripped to shreds, made fun of, and thoughtfully and insightfully considered on air by a two-headed giant.

Ettin News
View in iTunes
  • Free
  • Category: Comedy
  • Language: English

Customer Ratings