By Monster Crush
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Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck, because our crypto-woo-ologist, Heaven-Leigh, has a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait, - er, bachelorette - Elly, survives is up to her. Who says love isn't without a few risks?
||CleanValentine's Day Special Episode - Is There a Fire in Your Pants or is That the VD?||A SECRET SURPRISE EPISODE NO ONE WAS EXPECTING! We are joined by two supremely sexy guests for a love fest, unlike anything you've seen before. For the first time, Elly can ask her potential dates a few questions. Shenanigans ensue. Thank you to our gue||2/14/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 18 - Let's Not Beet Around the Bush||VEGETABLES!! So, you wanted vegetables. You love corn, eh? YOU DESIRE CABBAGE? If so, maybe one of these tasty veggies will be what you're looking for. If you don't like vegetables, then perhaps this will reaffirm for you that you've made the right call||2/5/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 17 - I Bless These Dates in Africa||Three dates, one really big continent. Who stands a chance at finding love? One is an actual, literal god, so they do have that going for them. But the other could kill your enemies without even breaking a sweat. Priorities. Featuring: What Did Those An||1/22/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 16 - Someone to Keep You Warm||It may be getting cold outside, but these boys can keep you hot. They may not be able to control the temperature, and there is a chance you will catch on fire and maybe even die, but... you'll be nice and toasty. Featuring: Ears of Ice; Breakin' and Ent||1/4/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 15 - There is Nothing Mild About Captain Silver Booty||We travel across the world in search of love and the perfect temperature, looking high and low. These two are as different as can be, and although they may not be as famous as their cousins, there is a certain charm in anonymity. Featuring: Watch She-Ra||11/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 14 - This Love will Never go Extinct||What they all have in common: scales. What makes them unique: how many buttholes they have. These four bachelors have been waiting for that special person to come into their lives for a long, long time. CW: brief gore, and mention of hate crimes. Featur||11/15/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 13 - Spooktacular Love||We didn't plan this, but this is our 13th and SPOOKIEST of all episodes, just in time for Halloween! We recorded in an extra large, extra chilly room and there's a bit of echo, which only adds to the ambiance. Featuring: Layers of nightmare; Ghosts dru||10/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 12 - Cause Baby You Got What They Need||Someday, you're going to find someone who loves you for what's on the inside - your blood. It's wet n' wild, and you're full of it. Jackpot! [Redacted due to fear of legal repercussions] isn't the only sexy vampire in town, and four hungry fiends are ea||10/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 11 - Talk About a Total Failure||YOU ASKED FOR IT. Experiments gone wrong is this week's topic, and it comes with a lot of content warnings: Suicide, body horror, gore, sexual assault, drug use, kidnapping, abortion, miscarriage, murder, graphic language. Featuring: Brain parasites; Go||9/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 10 - Is This a Trick?||ELLY IS BACK - AGAIN! After a brief hiatus, your two favorite monster girls are back with a new batch of dates. No, your ears aren't playing tricks on you. Well, maybe - it could be any one of our bachelors. They are a wily bunch. Featuring: Bigfoot law||9/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 9 - W/Special Guest TheNobodynoo!||This week our guest, TheNobdynoo, takes Heaven-Leigh on a tour of the Middle East. This episode has everything: good bois, giant animals, and the murderous creations of God. What fun! Theme song by Seth David-Andrew Hubbard [Palmersmedic / Sender!] / Co||8/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 8 - w/ Special Guest Seth!||TAKE TWO on this special episode of Monster Crush! We are going on a tour of the United States with bachelors from Washington, Alaska, and Utah - a menagerie of potential loves. Featuring: A BRAND NEW THEME SONG, TTS (tech transmitted spirits), hot gran||7/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 7 - That's Shifty||Elly is back! Heaven-Leigh saved your listener's choice for her return, so the two get fluid as they talk shapeshifters. These ain't you momma's werewolves. Featuring: Advice on where not to put alcohol, surprisingly heated Titanic debate, spoilers for||7/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 6 - DnD Special Episode!||Elly is out of town, and so Heaven-Leigh is joined by a special guest; and this time, the tables have turned! Special guest Archmage Derek joins Monster Crush to talk Dungeons, Dragons, and Villians. Heads up: Heaven-Leigh is expecting a new microphone||7/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEpisode 5 - Drrrrty||Two exhausted girls got together one early morning to bring you whatever this episode is! We are going elemental this week with some down and dirty monsters to love. Featuring: The elusive fifth taste, biology, sexy dads, temperature troubles, extensive||6/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 4 - 'Til Death do you Hug||They're here, they're big, and they are going to hug the heck outta you! Only half of them are confirmed killers, which is a pretty good ratio for us. Featuring: A PSA on shorts, a PSA on cats, the evil hertz, bad academic skills, more about cats, black||6/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 3 - There's Something in the Water||We are back from our short and unexpected hiatus with a handful of new dates to sample! We went a little dark this episode as requested by listeners, so be aware that there is mention of body horror, sexual assault, child death, and murder. Join us as w||5/20/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 2 - No Scientific Testing to be Seen Here||This week we take a small tour of the United States to visit one suitor with five identities. Despite their different origins, they all have one thing in common: they are willing to risk it all for a chance at love. Five bachelors enter, but can any of||4/15/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDate 1 - What is a Cryptid? Plus: A Six Foot Vertical Leap||Elly's first date is a local boy that hails from her home country, England. He likes bangers and mash, clothes that are just tight enough to leave you wanting more, and terrorizing young women.||3/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
A lighthearted cryptid cast
Two friends invite you to a creepy take on the classic “The Dating Game”. This podcast is super sweet, friendly, and refreshing. I’m not always in the mood for creepy, moody stories, but Elly and Heavenly’s fun interaction feels like the best conversation you can eavesdrop on at a Starbucks. I look forward to this podcast with every update.
5 smooches out of 5
Full disclosure: I came into this show not even that keen on cryptids. But between the charm, wit, chemistry, and passion of the hosts, I now have both a wellspring of knowledge, and PREFERENCES about the date-ability of a range of the weird creatures hidden in the world.