How Can I Say This...
By Beth Buelow
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The “How Can I Say This…” podcast offers tips and advice for real-world communications challenges, such as difficult conversations, conflict, giving and receiving feedback, negotiating, and other situations where what you say and how you say it makes a difference. Your host is Beth Buelow, PCC, founder of ZOPA Consulting and author of “The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.” As a credentialed professional coach, she’s spent the past 10 years offering support to entrepreneurs and leaders, holding space for them to explore their strengths, fears, and very often, their communication challenges. Beth’s also a trained mediator and loves finding the “Zone of Possible Agreement” (ZOPA!) in any situation that comes her way. She’s hosted The Introvert Entrepreneur Podcast since 2010. In every episode of "How Can I Say This...", you’ll find ideas about how to handle your communication conundrums; tips on feeling more confident and comfortable with conflict; opportunities to learn from real-life situations through questions shared by listeners; and ultimately, gain skills and techniques for dealing with sticky situations at work and home. Of course, we can’t be all talk and no action; each show will end with an invitation to try a particular technique or approach that came up in the episode. Episodes will feature listener questions, as well as expert guest interviews and contributions. The scope of conversation will evolve over time… we’re open to seeing where this goes. Thanks for joining us on the journey!
||CleanBarbara McAfee, Using Your Full Voice||Watch your tone… it’s advice we’ve all received at some point, most likely when we were children and saying, “I don’t want to” to a parent, or “give it back,” to a sibling. As adults we still have to watch our tone, as how we say something is as important as what we say. Tone takes on new meaning, not just the attitude, but the pitch and timbre. How can we be powerful communicators by using our words and our tone? How you convey your message is just as important as the message itself. Voice Coach Barbara McAfee teaches us how to powerfully express ourselves using our full voice. Barbara McAfee is a voice coach, singer/songwriter, keynote speaker, and author who merges lessons from 12 years in organization development with the transformational power of sound. Her book, Full Voice: The Art & Practice of Vocal Presence, is based on her 25+ years as a voice coach, supporting people from many professions in learning how to access the full power and expression of the voice in service to their work and relationships. Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. More resources and information at howcanisaythis.com||11/14/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanKwame Christian, Compassionate Curiosity||There are times when we feel stuck in our communications, that no matter what we say or how we plead our case, we make zero headway with the other person. We’re so fixated on what we need and want, we forget to consider the other person and their needs and wants. What are some ways we can turn that around and create a situation where everyone gets what they need? This episode features my lively conversation with guest Kwame Christian, who offers us some awesome insights on how to connect on a meaningful level with someone – even a 2-year old! – and have a persuasive conversation. Kwame Christian is Director of the American Negotiation Institute, where he puts on workshops designed to make difficult conversations easier. As an attorney and mediator with a bachelors of arts in Psychology, a Master of Public Policy, and a law degree, Kwame brings a unique multidisciplinary approach to the topic of conflict management and negotiation. He’s the author of Nobody Will Play With Me and his TEDx Talk, Finding Confidence in Conflict, was the most popular TED Talk on the topic of conflict of 2017. He also hosts the top negotiation podcast in the world, Negotiate Anything. He’s also been a repeat guest on my other podcast, The Introvert Entrepreneur; links to those shows can be found on the page for this episode at howcanisaythis.com.||11/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanYour Questions: How to Stop Rambling||When I get nervous, I can talk… and talk and talk and talk. It’s really embarrassing sometimes, and I don’t know how to stop myself once I get going. I’m sure the other person is bored to tears or wishing I’d just shut up already. But I can’t help it. Or can I? Is it possible to gracefully stop our rambling and get the conversation back on track? In this episode, I respond to a listener question about what to do when you find yourself talking too much, as well as start an exploration of what really gets in our way when we’re having difficulty being in conversation with someone we disagree with. I also share an insight from Alan Alda about the importance of empathy in conversation. Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. More information at www.howcanisaythis.com||10/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDerek Pratt, Tips for Neighbor Conflicts||It doesn’t matter if they’re down the hall or across the street: being in community with other people can be hard work. We’ve probably all experienced a noisy neighbor or inconsiderate coworker who doesn’t seem to be aware of how their actions affect others. How do we address those problems with the people we live and work with in a way that doesn’t make things worse? My guest is Derek Pratt, founder of 4ward With Progress Inc. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at www.howcanisaythis.com.||10/23/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanYour Questions: Negative People, Protecting Colleagues||There are times in most relationships when we’re faced with one of two situations: we feel a need to protect ourselves, or we feel a need to protect someone else. Every once in a while, especially when it comes to giving feedback, those two things can happen at the same time! How can we act in a way that establishes boundaries while still being kind? In this episode, we take a look at two listener questions: dealing with negative people and sharing difficult feedback with a colleague who’s having personal issues. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information and resources at howcanisaythis.com.||10/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanYour Questions: Creating Closure from a Distance||In an ideal world, relationships that end would do so clearly and with no loose ends. Each person would walk away feeling like they’d tied a nice neat bow on the matter. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and endings can be messy and feel incomplete. What do we do when we are left with lots of loose ends and no one to help us tie them up? In this episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into a listener question about how to find relationship closure alone when it’s not possible to do it together. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. Learn more, submit your questions, and subscribe at howcanisaythis.com||10/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanEp008: Veronica Cravener, Determining Your Interests and Wants||We’ve all found ourselves in arguments where we reach a stalemate. Neither person seems willing to budge on what they need, and frustration builds instead of goes away. After all, what I want is what I want! Isn’t that what I’m arguing for? Well, it turns out there’s more at stake than what we think. And one way to get past the frustration is to find out what that is. What are some ways we can get at what really matters in a disagreement? In this episode, I’m joined by mediator Veronica Cravener, who provides insights about what gets in our way in difficult conversations and how we can best share our needs, wants and interests with others. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. Learn more at howcanisaythis.com||10/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanGrace Judson, Empathy in Conversations||There’s a time and place for everything, and that includes emotion and intimacy. Most of the time it’s clear when we can show emotion and wear our heart on our sleeve. But sometimes, especially in professional environments, it can be more challenging to know how to respond when a clear need for empathy presents itself. We want to connect as human beings while still respecting boundaries. What’s a healthy way to walk that line with people we care about? Leadership Coach Grace Judson joins to me to discuss this and more. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information and resources at www.howcanisaythis.com||9/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanYour Questions: Friendship Challenges, Generational Differences||How can we offer our perspective in a thoughtful way that doesn’t put someone on the defensive? In this episode, we’ll be looking at some listener questions about telling it like it is to someone you care about, intergenerational conversations, and lopsided friendships. Submit your question and find more information about this podcast can be found at howcanisaythis.com. Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC.||9/18/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanArden Clise, Tricky Feedback, Establishing Boundaries (Ep005)||I welcome etiquette consultant Arden Clise to the show, and together we respond to listener questions on giving and receiving sensitive feedback, as well as how to establish boundaries when you value your privacy.||9/11/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanCinnie Noble, Navigating Conflict and Passive-Aggressiveness||Conflict coach Cinnie Noble joins me in conversation about what constitutes healthy and unhealthy conflict. We also offer some perspectives to a listener that's dealing with passive-aggressive behavior.||9/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanYour Questions: TMI, Unsolicited Help, Releasing a Client||This episode features listener questions about how to gracefully exit a client relationship, tell someone their help isn’t needed, and extract yourself from a TMI conversation.||9/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanLaurie Helgoe, How to Handle Bullies and Narcissists||Psychologist and author Laurie Helgoe joins me to talk about dealing with bullies and narcissistic types. We also respond to listener questions about someone who won't take "no" for an answer and how to connect with others as an introvert.||9/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanBridging Political Divides with Kern Beare||In this debut episode, we jump right into the fray with a conversation about how to bridge the political divide when you're talking with someone who thinks very differently than you do. My guest is Kern Beare, founder of Pop the Bubble, an initiative born in the wake of the 2016 election. After taking a cross-country “conversation road trip” with his son Will to better understand the source of our divide, Kern created a workshop called “Difficult Conversations: The art and science of thinking (and living) together.” He’s been traveling the country leading the workshop since October of 2017.||9/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
Grateful for this space of curiosity and courage
So needed in this world a space for conversation where we learn and grow together with our differences and our similarities. Very grateful to Beth who has an amazing skill in creating that welcoming, curious, and encouraging conversational space. Looking forward to more!
Everyone should listen to this!
If you want to learn how to talk to people who are completely on the opposite site of the spectrum (political, religious, etc), then listen to this podcast. Lots of valuable information on how to engage people from a place of curiosity, compassion, and a genuine desire to learn about their truth, without compromising your beliefs. As we seem to grow further apart as a nation, this podcast is timely and relevant.
A great, timely subject!
I have followed Beth for years and am always so impressed with her warmth and compassion, laser focus on a subject, conscious communication, gentle curiousity, and kind openness. She hits it on the nail again with this new podcast - we can all learn how to listen and learn from eachother, especially in these unsure times.
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