Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast
By Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter
To listen to an audio podcast, mouse over the title and click Play. Open iTunes to download and subscribe to podcasts.
A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast... with a twist! What do you get when two best friends, and horror movie fans, convince themselves that they would definitely be ‘the final girl’ at the end of the movie and never be the girl ‘running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door’? You get Kim and Ket Stay Alive… Maybe. Each episode, Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter choose a different horror film, and through very scientific (not scientific), totally indisputable (very disputable) methods, and amidst hilarious tangents about their personal lives, they determine whether or not they would be the ones to stay alive at the end.
||ExplicitEp. 28: Angel Heart: “The Tale of Dick Porter and the Wife Respecters”||Kim tells Ket about Angel Heart starring Mickey Rourke, Robert DeNiro and Lisa Bonet in honor of Arik’s birthday. The girls will coin a new term for that incredibly hot piece of male accoutrement with a very unfortunate name. They’ll also be introdu||2/20/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 27: My Bloody Valentine: “The Tale of FOMO at BoneCon”||Ket tells Kim about My Bloody Valentine (1981) starring Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck. The girls will recount their various reasons for Valentine’s Day-induced emotional scarring. They’ll take several trips to “BoneCon” and remind list||2/13/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 26: Hellraiser: “The Sexy Tale of Goop Body and British Shoulder Pads”||Kim tells Ket about Hellraiser starring Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins and Sean Chapman. Kim will barely be able to keep it in her pants over Skelefrank. Both Kim and Ket will try to say the name Larry in a sexy way… and fail… because the name is…||2/6/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 25: Annihilation: “The Tale of Bechdel Tests on the Jurassic Park Toilet”||Ket tells Kim about Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Ket will educate Kim on what she’s been missing in terms of the hotness that is Oscar Isaac. They’ll both educate all of||1/30/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 24: 47 Meters Down: “The Tale of MAJOR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES Under The Sea”||Kim tells Ket about 47 Meters Down starring Mandy Moore, Claire Holt and Matthew Modine. Listen, sometimes the cables that hold the cage, protecting you from surrounding sharks, and preventing you from falling 47 meters to the ocean floor, break. Someti||1/23/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 23: Exorcist III: “The Tale of Detective Burns”||Ket tells Kim about The Exorcist 3 starring George C. Scott, Ed Flanders and Brad Dourif. We’ll confront Kim about her budding schizophrenia… or possession. It’s unclear. Fabio will make an appearance as an angel. We’ll learn the science of poss||1/16/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 22 CAM: “The Tale of Fancy Girls Live in the DVD Store”||Ket tells Kim about the Netflix hit CAM starring Madeline Brewer, Patch Darragh, and Melora Walters. We’ll learn about Kim’s history of dating baby ghosts and Kim will teach us the recipe for her kid-friendly meal: spinach in milk. We’ll dive into||1/9/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 21 The Orphanage: “The Tale of Double Dings and Wooden Toys”||Kim tells Ket about The Orphanage starring Belen Rueda, Fernando Cayo, and Roger Princep. Kim will adamantly tell her that ‘double ding’ just isn’t gonna happen. Stop trying to make double ding happen, Ketryn! The girls will definitely get the the||1/2/2019||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 20 Black Christmas (2006): “The Tale of Baltimore County Mansion Brothels”||Ket tells Kim about the 2006 remake of Black Christmas starring Lacey Chabert, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Oliver Hudson. We’ll learn about ancient pagan winter solstice rituals, the anatomy of eyeballs, and brothel laws of yore. We’ll use a new vo||12/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 19 Krampus: “The Tale of National Lampoon’s Christmas Bullm’n”||Kim tells Ket about Krampus starring Adam Scott, Toni Collette, and David Koechner. We’ll learn about how Ket unsuccessfully attempted to seduce Adam Scott and how Kim and Ket have every intention of seducing Toni Collette. We’ll get a horror movie||12/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 18 The Babysitter: “The Tale of Intergalactic Cheerleaders in the Carport”||Ket tells Kim about The Babysitter starring Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, and Bella Thorne. Ketryn will be betrayed by Kim when she learns something about Kim’s past she’d never heard before. The girls will also learn that the award they won for the||12/12/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 17 Happy Death Day: “The Tale of Having Been There”||Kim tells Ket about Happy Death Day starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, and Ruby Modine. We’ll take a walk of success through Kim & Ket’s college days and learn that babies are RUTHLESS! Ket will have an emotional breakthrough as she “Ebenez||12/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 16 The Wicker Man: “The Tale of Icolas Age”||Ket tells Kim about The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, and Leelee Sobieski. We’ll learn that there is a time limit on how long you can leave liquor with the girls before it done gets drunk… but not as drunk as poor little freshman,||11/28/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 15 Halloween 2018: “The Tale of Trespantsing on The Queen”||Kim AND Ket tell their special guest Maya Stojan about the NEW Halloween (2018), starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer and Andi Matichak. Though she didn’t have experience with Halloween while growing up in Switzerland, we will learn that Maya’s rut||11/21/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 14 Train to Busan: “The Tale of Baby’s 1st Zombie Apocalypse”||Kim tells Ket about Train to Busan, starring Gong Yoo, Jung Yu-mi, and Ma Dong-seok. Kim will try her hand, yet again, at scaring her cyber date, Adam. We’ll get a sneak peak at the girls’ new infomercial and learn where zombies stand on gun control||11/14/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 13 The Purge: Election Year: “The Tale of YOU BETTER HAVE EFFING VOTED”||Ket tells Kim about The Purge: Election Year, starring Elizabeth Mitchell and Frank Grillo… not Jon Bernthal. Depending on the results of OUR election, this telling will either be a tale of what we narrowly avoided OR a survival guide of what’s to c||11/7/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 12 Trick ‘r Treat: “The Tale of Burpsmap and Princess Wilkens”||Kim tells Ket about Trick ‘r Treat, starring Anna Paquin, Brian Cox and Dylan Baker. As usual, they will refer to exactly none of the characters by their correct names and they’ll focus ONLY on the most important plot points. They’ll take a visit||10/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 11 Suspiria: “The Tale of the Velvet Walls”||Ket tells Kim about Suspiria (1977), starring Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, and Flavio Bucci. We’ll get decorating tips like velvet’s not just for couches and how to give your houseguests seizures! We’ll also confirm that wine IS medicine (Ket||10/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 10 Halloween: “The Tale of Blue Oyster Tacos||Kim tells Ket about Halloween (2007), starring Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, and Scout Taylor-Compton. We’ll find out how many times the girls can manage to bring up tacos while discussing brutal murders by an evil psychopath. We’ll introduce a new||10/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 9: Ginger Snaps: “The Tale of Helicopter Ketryn”||Ket tells Kim about Ginger Snaps. starring Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle and Mimi Rogers. We’ll find out how Ket can’t pick bad movies even when she tries and takes pity on Kim’s faulty picker. We’ll learn about how Kim doesn’t believe in||10/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 8: The Killing of a Sacred Deer: “The Tale of a Sacred Sponge Bob”||Kim tells Ket about The Killing of a Sacred Deer, starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Farrell, and Barry Keoghan. We’ll find out how Kim faired as her own viewing partner. We’ll listen to Ket literally die of laughter (she’s a ghost now) and who Kim and||10/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 7: Deliverance: “The Tale of Burt Reynolds’ Arms”||Ket tells Kim about Deliverance, starring the late Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox. We’ll find out if Kim murders a date that she thought was standing her up. We’ll learn about banjo boy, how to scale the cliffs of insanity, and||9/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 6: The Open House: “The Tale of Horror from 2-5 on a Sunday”||Kim tells Ket about The Open House, starring Dylan Minnette and Piercey Dalton. We’ll find out if Ket has improved her staying alive skills. We’ll learn about Kim’s cyber date, with a Horror Movie virgin, and what to wear to a black tie bedtime. M||9/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 5: The Skeleton Key: “The Tale of How you do the Hoodoo that you do”||Ket tells Kim about The Skeleton Key, starring Kate Hudson, Peter Sarsgaard, Gena Rowlands and John Hurt. We’ll learn why Kim and Ket have brainwashed all their friends into mispronouncing the French word for ‘five.’ Kim will decide she’s NEVER||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 4: I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House: “The Tale of the Hanging Chair”||Kim tells Ket about I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House, starring Ruth Wilson, Paula Prentiss, and Bob Balaban. We’ll also get Part 2 of Kim’s date with Batman and remain utterly confused. Kim will officially announce her vendetta towards||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 3: An American Haunting: “The Tale of Sassy and The Patriarchy”||Ket tells Kim about An American Haunting, starring Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, and Rachel Hurd-Wood. We’ll learn that Ket can always find a reason to get feisty about feminism, Sissy Spacek’s new nickname, and whether a killer cast and being ba||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 2: The Boy: “The Tale of the Magic Towel”||Kim tells Ket about The Boy, starring Lauren Cohen, Rupert Evans, and James Russell. We’ll learn about Kim’s date with Batman and whether he was, or was not, a serial killer. Did she even watch the movie? We’ll find out which of the girls is more||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 1: Green Room: “The Tale of Dirt Bag Band and Butt Boy”||Ket tells Kim about Green Room, starring the late Anton Yelchin, Patrick Stewart, and Alia Shawkat. We’ll learn about things like where their love of horror movies began, who their watching partners will (and won’t) be, how to duct tape an arm back||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
Such a great idea!
This is a totally novel show. I've never heard a podcast like this before and it's so much fun. Kim and Ket are pretty funny and charming, too. Taking the talk about a horror movies genre and making it interactive. Hell you could play along at home.
These ladies are very funny & have made a great game to play along with them. Even a wuss like me can enjoy horror films now! I love sharing this podcast with new people. Plus they have cute merch
I just found out about KKSAM Podcast through Fangorias IG page and I love it! I’ve been telling my friends and family about the podcast since it’s what I’ve been looking for especially being a fan of horror movies but I also feel that even if you’re not a fan of horror you should still listen cause Kim and Ket are hilarious!