Kim and Ket Stay Alive... Maybe
By Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter
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A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast... with a twist! What do you get when two best friends, and horror movie fans, convince themselves that they would definitely be ‘the final girl’ at the end of the movie and never be the girl ‘running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door’? You get Kim and Ket Stay Alive… Maybe. Each episode, Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter choose a different horror film, and through very scientific (not scientific), totally indisputable (very disputable) methods, and amidst hilarious tangents about their personal lives, they determine whether or not they would be the ones to stay alive at the end.
||ExplicitEp. 18 The Babysitter: “The Tale of Intergalactic Cheerleaders in the Carport”||Ket tells Kim about The Babysitter starring Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, and Bella Thorne. Ketryn will be betrayed by Kim when she learns something about Kim’s past she’d never heard before. The girls will also learn that the award they won for the||12/12/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 17 Happy Death Day: “The Tale of Having Been There”||Kim tells Ket about Happy Death Day starring Jessica Rothe, Israel Broussard, and Ruby Modine. We’ll take a walk of success through Kim & Ket’s college days and learn that babies are RUTHLESS! Ket will have an emotional breakthrough as she “Ebenez||12/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 16 The Wicker Man: “The Tale of Icolas Age”||Ket tells Kim about The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, and Leelee Sobieski. We’ll learn that there is a time limit on how long you can leave liquor with the girls before it done gets drunk… but not as drunk as poor little freshman,||11/28/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 15 Halloween 2018: “The Tale of Trespantsing on The Queen”||Kim AND Ket tell their special guest Maya Stojan about the NEW Halloween (2018), starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer and Andi Matichak. Though she didn’t have experience with Halloween while growing up in Switzerland, we will learn that Maya’s rut||11/21/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 14 Train to Busan: “The Tale of Baby’s 1st Zombie Apocalypse”||Kim tells Ket about Train to Busan, starring Gong Yoo, Jung Yu-mi, and Ma Dong-seok. Kim will try her hand, yet again, at scaring her cyber date, Adam. We’ll get a sneak peak at the girls’ new infomercial and learn where zombies stand on gun control||11/14/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 13 The Purge: Election Year: “The Tale of YOU BETTER HAVE EFFING VOTED”||Ket tells Kim about The Purge: Election Year, starring Elizabeth Mitchell and Frank Grillo… not Jon Bernthal. Depending on the results of OUR election, this telling will either be a tale of what we narrowly avoided OR a survival guide of what’s to c||11/7/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 12 Trick ‘r Treat: “The Tale of Burpsmap and Princess Wilkens”||Kim tells Ket about Trick ‘r Treat, starring Anna Paquin, Brian Cox and Dylan Baker. As usual, they will refer to exactly none of the characters by their correct names and they’ll focus ONLY on the most important plot points. They’ll take a visit||10/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 11 Suspiria: “The Tale of the Velvet Walls”||Ket tells Kim about Suspiria (1977), starring Jessica Harper, Stefania Casini, and Flavio Bucci. We’ll get decorating tips like velvet’s not just for couches and how to give your houseguests seizures! We’ll also confirm that wine IS medicine (Ket||10/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 10 Halloween: “The Tale of Blue Oyster Tacos||Kim tells Ket about Halloween (2007), starring Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, and Scout Taylor-Compton. We’ll find out how many times the girls can manage to bring up tacos while discussing brutal murders by an evil psychopath. We’ll introduce a new||10/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 9: Ginger Snaps: “The Tale of Helicopter Ketryn”||Ket tells Kim about Ginger Snaps. starring Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle and Mimi Rogers. We’ll find out how Ket can’t pick bad movies even when she tries and takes pity on Kim’s faulty picker. We’ll learn about how Kim doesn’t believe in||10/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 8: The Killing of a Sacred Deer: “The Tale of a Sacred Sponge Bob”||Kim tells Ket about The Killing of a Sacred Deer, starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Farrell, and Barry Keoghan. We’ll find out how Kim faired as her own viewing partner. We’ll listen to Ket literally die of laughter (she’s a ghost now) and who Kim and||10/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 7: Deliverance: “The Tale of Burt Reynolds’ Arms”||Ket tells Kim about Deliverance, starring the late Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox. We’ll find out if Kim murders a date that she thought was standing her up. We’ll learn about banjo boy, how to scale the cliffs of insanity, and||9/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 6: The Open House: “The Tale of Horror from 2-5 on a Sunday”||Kim tells Ket about The Open House, starring Dylan Minnette and Piercey Dalton. We’ll find out if Ket has improved her staying alive skills. We’ll learn about Kim’s cyber date, with a Horror Movie virgin, and what to wear to a black tie bedtime. M||9/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 5: The Skeleton Key: “The Tale of How you do the Hoodoo that you do”||Ket tells Kim about The Skeleton Key, starring Kate Hudson, Peter Sarsgaard, Gena Rowlands and John Hurt. We’ll learn why Kim and Ket have brainwashed all their friends into mispronouncing the French word for ‘five.’ Kim will decide she’s NEVER||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 4: I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House: “The Tale of the Hanging Chair”||Kim tells Ket about I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House, starring Ruth Wilson, Paula Prentiss, and Bob Balaban. We’ll also get Part 2 of Kim’s date with Batman and remain utterly confused. Kim will officially announce her vendetta towards||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 3: An American Haunting: “The Tale of Sassy and The Patriarchy”||Ket tells Kim about An American Haunting, starring Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, and Rachel Hurd-Wood. We’ll learn that Ket can always find a reason to get feisty about feminism, Sissy Spacek’s new nickname, and whether a killer cast and being ba||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 2: The Boy: “The Tale of the Magic Towel”||Kim tells Ket about The Boy, starring Lauren Cohen, Rupert Evans, and James Russell. We’ll learn about Kim’s date with Batman and whether he was, or was not, a serial killer. Did she even watch the movie? We’ll find out which of the girls is more||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 1: Green Room: “The Tale of Dirt Bag Band and Butt Boy”||Ket tells Kim about Green Room, starring the late Anton Yelchin, Patrick Stewart, and Alia Shawkat. We’ll learn about things like where their love of horror movies began, who their watching partners will (and won’t) be, how to duct tape an arm back||8/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
Finally, a horror movie situation where I can keep the lights on!
These two have a way with comedy and critically bringing to the surface the tropes if the horror movie genre.
Finally, a way I can keep up with the pop culture references of horror movies and be able to sleep at night.
Fantastic and hilarious
Actresses and entertainers Kim Burns and Ketryn Porter designed a movie podcast in which one takes the other through a movie only one of them has seen to determine whether they would make the same choices as the characters and die like, “some big breasted girl, who can't act, who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door.”
Their first episode has some rough sound and the ladies are finding their footing with their premise and their performances, which is pretty good already because they’re clearly good friends with energetic banter. You find this arc with nearly every podcast, and they’re doing what most do not by putting a voice out there to begin with, which I envy and admire. But in short order, and in barely a over a dozen episodes, the show becomes a well-oiled machine. Their riffing with each other and their commentary on the movies becomes more defined and just tighter all around.
They develop in-jokes and nicknames for characters in the movies that I can already see adorning T-shirts at live shows (Put me down for a Burpsmap shirt!) like How Did This Get Made or James Bonding. It also reminded me of the many episodes of Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier’s podcast, Smodcast, where kidbear Kevin Smith spends two hours passionately describing a movie to a passively interested Scott. This podcast modified the concept by adding structure, an interactive element and TWO passionate hosts.
I’m so glad I gave this Podcast a shot after their Instagram account gave me a follow. Personally, it brought me back to being the only boy in a house with my mom and sister and their female friends. When we talk about diversity in the world currently, a show like this is where the rubber meets the road. Women talk about things differently than men do, which means they see things men don’t and you’re only hurting yourself shutting yourself off to a different perspective or way of communicating. Especially communicating passion. And the passion here is for kickass horror movies!
Pretty goldang fun
Having a kick listening to the antics on KAKSA...M. A novel concept delivered with vim, vigor, and vitality. Someone needs to turn this into a board game!!