Maybe It's You
By Starburns Audio
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Who is this podcast for? Maybe It’s You. All of your problems, victories, fears, aspirations and even your fetishes have one thing in common… us. No Dummy, it’s YOU! With Amiira Ruotola and Greg Behrendt, co-authors of some snazzy best-selling relationship books that you might have heard of depending on your level of heartbreak.
||ExplicitSound Bath Envy (with Mary Lynn Rajskub)||Actress (24, Night School, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) and comedian Mary Lynn Rajskub join Amiira and Greg to talk about the shared relationship dynamic of a marriage of a magical thinker with a non-linear mind opposite a linear mind and what daily communication looks like… and how they hilariously still are puzzled by each other after a decade plus of marriage. Learning your person, how they are, how you are and what you both need then training yourself to identify it when it’s actually happening then practicing the appropriate acceptance, boundaries and actions to boost the fun and harmony in your home plus sound bath envy and the desperation of performing comedy.||11/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitHow To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking Part 2 - Moon Zappa||The singularly hilarious and mystic Moon Zappa joins Amiira and Greg to talk about all the different obstacles and pitfalls that we encounter in our marriage relationship. Part 2 of our deep dive into How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking where we discuss how we behave as badly as your family of origin, hang on to stuff even after an apology has been made because anger continues to come up, and how you can have total willingness and desire to get rid of something and STILL not be able to do it. The idea of looking to the past as proof that you can recover from adversity or trauma rather than looking to the past for injury. The avoidance trap of putting pleasure on your discomfort rather than digging deeper into the issue and that compromise isn’t meant to be taking turns being miserable. There’s a ton of funny and insightful information and conversation that will help keep your relationship thriving.||10/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitHow To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking Part 1||Amiira and Greg go into the conversations and real life advice that sparked the writing of our new book How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking, a preventative guide to keeping your wedlock out of deadlock. We’ve run the obstacle course and know all the hazards so we can warn you about all the traps you need to look out for. Includes a hilarious because it’s true excerpt from the How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking relationship conversations you need to have quiz, the ability to renegotiate things in your marriage and a sidebar about porn’s effects on how you view your partner. Plus they answer a listener question. Enjoy!||10/23/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWe Got to Fix It To Fix It (with Jackie Kashian)||Comedian Jackie Kashian (The Dork Forest & The Jackie and Laurie Show podcasts) drops by for an hourlong hilarious deep dive into family dysfunction, celebration and revelation, the joys of marrying the right person after you’re already a formed adult, the steep learning curve of the time we’re living in of sexual misconduct, racism, and human garbage as well as the great hope for self-correction in the future and those who choose to be on the right side of history.||10/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitCouples Therapy w/ Naomi & Andy||Engaged couple Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman from the Couples Therapy Podcast join Amiira and Greg to talk about marrying your lives, navigating each other’s parents, historical parent child dynamics that continually teeter on the line of infantilizing. The responsibility you feel towards your partner in the face of the familial loyalty and love triangle and how too much togetherness and enmeshment can potentially spoil your Couples harmony rather than strengthen it.||10/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Evaporation of Identity||Amiira and Greg discuss the erasure of identity that slowly seeps in with the monotony, structure and repetition of daily adult life. With responsibility and children comes the evaporation of spontaneity and adventure as your role changes to be of service to others before being of service to yourself. The disconnection from how you once defined yourself now that you’re in the environment of adult life. As well as a lively and revealing discussion of mental illness in marriages.||10/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanTesting the Elasticity of Your Love||Amiira and Greg explore the idea of love elasticity. How much wear and tear can you put on your love before it stops snapping back? How far can you stretch your love before it breaks? In long term committed relationships (including friendships, romantic relationships, family) we can find ourselves withdrawing our thoughtfulness, consideration and attention from our partner, who once was our first thought, and giving it to elsewhere in the moment then expecting your person to just roll with it. Suddenly, you’ve built this new habit of taking your person for granted, being disconnected and even treating them poorly in favor of another person who is relatively meaningless in your world. Maybe It’s You listener email raises the discussion of conflict in the division of domestic labor and what roles gender, personality and position may play.||9/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTom Morello - Part Two||Amiira and Greg’s conversation with Tom Morello (Rage Against The Machine, Audioslave, Prophets of Rage) continues and delves into band dynamics being similar to a group marriage as well as the challenges that arise when making decisions as a band at the intersection of art, commerce and ego. Then switch gears into fatherhood with his own sons, discovering as an adult that he had three half-brothers in Kenya and developing strong relationships with them and how their new brotherhood bond built a bridge to his biological father finally becoming a part of his life. Finally, Tom challenges Amiira and Greg to a battle of the bands game!||9/18/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTom Morello - Part One||Tom Morello, (Rage Against The Machine, Audioslave, Prophets of Rage) join Amiira and Greg to talk about the glory and challenges of his adolescence as the only African American kid in his town and high school, how working at the Renaissance Faire is still the best job he's ever had, the other education he got at Harvard, having a change of heart about getting married and having kids, and the five problems you encounter in a band.||9/11/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWeddings, Breakups and Everything In Between||Greg and Amiira introduce new producer Land and discuss the difference in the pageantry of young couple weddings and the later in life weddings that are coming down the pike. In true How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking fashion Greg and Amiira relive their own wedding planning dilemmas that led to them having an engagement party where they staged a surprise wedding and Amiira’s struggle with vulnerability and anxiety at weddings and all the mistakes they made around their wedding. The reality of post wedding day depression, the brain scramble of when you and your person part ways in what moves you and the opportunity that lives within heart crushing breakups.||9/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanLive from Book Soup w/ Kelsey Cook & Kane Holloway||Greg and Amiira are joined by engaged comedians and podcasters Kelsey Cook (Self-Helpless) and Kane Holloway (Your First Time) at the How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking book signing at the infamous Book Soup on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. We get into the meat of bad proposals, conflicting fighting styles, control issues and boundaries as well as reading an excerpt from How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking and taking questions from the audience on Greg and Amiira’s first live Maybe It’s You..||8/28/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanLazy Communication||Amiira and Greg get into the guts of lazy communication plaguing your long term and most meaningful relationships. How we get into the habit of sacrificing the feelings of our significant others in favor of accommodating near strangers, how we enter a space with conversations that have already started in our head then land them on our bewildered partner with an unexpected punch of amped up and heavily laced energy to guarantee that everyone gets to feel bad now.||8/21/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanBeverly D’Angelo - Deep Dive Into Perryanity||Beverly D’Angelo (National Lampoon’s Vacation, Hair, Every Which Way But Loose, Coal Miner’s Daughter, Entourage, Simpsons) discusses her career as a misfit in Hollywood, seeking fulfillment rather than success, her obsession with Steve Perry of Journey as a gateway for the nostalgia of a time of innocence and seeking safety and her entrepreneurial idea for mobile therapy. Plus the bonus of close up magic with Handsome Jack!||8/14/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanAshley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon - Bachelor Stars Align||You know them from seasons of the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise, the vibrant, foxy and newly engaged Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon join Greg and Amiira to talk all things love under and outside of the microscope. Finding strength in their differences and incredible introspection these two reality stars were put on television to find love but developed their relationship off screen between seasons where they nurtured and protected their friendship and incubated an authentic romantic love. Plus we talk about wedding planning and the awkwardness of having to watch your fiancé’ date on television.||8/7/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanJennifer Armstrong - Sex and the City and Us||Jennifer Armstrong, author of Sex and the City and Us, drops by to discuss the cultural impact of female aspiration and the breadth of relationships and behaviors explored through the characters and storylines of the the much celebrated and groundbreaking Sex and the City. Shining the light on their own marriage proposal as well as Jennifer’s and Carrie Bradshaw’s, Greg and Amiira delve into the expectations and realities of your evolution both personal and as a couple when marriage is on the table.||7/31/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanThe Mormon & the Methhead - Crisis, reinvention and intimacy.||Aaron Woodall and Jessa Reed of the Mormon and the Methhead podcast join Greg and Amiira for a deep dive into the experience and expectation of growing up in the Mormon religion, self-discovery through meth use, climbing your way out of isolation, failed marriages, fear of rejection and the dynamics of mastering vulnerability.||7/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanPaul Gilmartin - Horseshit and Fear||Paul Gilmartin from the Mental Health Happy Hour podcast joins Greg and Amiira to take a deep dive into the difficult conversations that you have to have to achieve true intimacy, how we plant landmines in our relationships in the first five years that will explode later on, recognizing that the shared reality of a relationship morphs with time and fractures, and the fall out of growing up in an emotionally invalidating household. It’s a good one people!||7/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit19: Maybe It’s Mail #2||The revealing (and puzzling) truth of Amiira’s family dynamic through a text chain about salad. Greg and Amiira answer listener email about dating and making a connection. Producer Yusong discusses his experience with dating apps and struggles with bei...||7/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit18: Dan Freedman - Being your own moderating force.||Our friend Dan Freedman joins us to talk about being a single father after the unexpected death of his first wife, having to be your own moderating force as both the disciplinarian and the paternal figure, being alone in making all the parenting decisi...||7/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean17: Karen Kilgariff - Who’s going to wet themselves?||Karen Kilgariff the hilarious comic and My Favorite Murder co-host joins Greg and Amiira to discuss how self-doubt, insecurity and descending voices cripples owning your own ambition, black out dysfunctional drinking days with a crew of comedy greats a...||6/26/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit16: Why We Write Books||In a very special Maybe It’s You, Greg and Amiira flash back to their roots when Greg was a stand-up comedian and Amiira a music business executive when they were first dating and became writing partners. Together they revisit their path to becoming re...||6/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit15: The Art of Appreciation and F*** All Y’all with Jackie & Paul||Greg and Amiira’s favorite long time married couple, Jackie Harris and Paul Greenberg, discuss marrying above your paygrade, how your sense of self affects the health of your marriage, too much and not enough togetherness, having genuine appreciation f...||6/12/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit14: Menship||Travis Clark joins Greg and Amiira to discuss the struggle to match viewing schedules with your mate, having your insecurities triggered by your spouse and male friendship. Long time friends,Travis and Greg were forced into an inorganic work friendship...||6/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit13: Send Nudes||Greg and Amiira discuss modern dating and the challenge to meet people outside of social media platforms. What Tinder dating is like for an introvert like producer Yusong. Amiira is tempted to mess with the “wrapped" sports car she keeps encountering t...||5/29/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit12: Psychic Slow Mo||Amiira’s visit to a psychic is hijacked by Greg's energy. Laura House joins Greg and Amiira to talk about the difference between love and fear based people, her recent engagement, slow motion breakups, ignoring information to stay in unhealthy relation...||5/22/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit11: Tara Strong/Love, Safety and Disintegrating||Amiira & Greg talk to the wonderfully talented actress Tara Strong (Teen Titans Go!, My Little Pony, Fairly Odd Parents) about still crushing on your spouse after twenty years, knowing your calling at an early age, always having the hunger to learn, e...||5/15/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit10: Maybe It’s Mail||Amiira and Greg answer emails from fabulous listeners. (Keep ‘em coming! You send them, we’ll answer them.) As if that wasn’t enough,producer Yusong finally gets dragged into the studio and giant bonus - Amiira and Greg’s daughter True takes teen emoti...||5/8/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||Clean9: Janet Varney - The Allowance of Self||Amiira and Greg are joined by the star of Stan Against Evil, Janet Varney, to chat about reaching next level comprehension and awareness in your relationship, the personal behavior revelations from watching the Crown, and the “Pillow Incident”.||5/1/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanMandy Stadtmiller/Unwifeable||Amiira & Greg talk with Author & Comedian Mandy Stadtmiller about her new memoir “Unwifeable”, personal boundaries and lack thereof, historical triggers, the energy shifting magic of clapping and the unsung importance of directing your sexual energy an...||4/24/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanChristine Taylor (Amiira’s BFF and Husband Therapy Sesh)||Amiira’s best friend Actress Christine Taylor (Brady Bunch, Dodgeball, Zealander, Arrested Development) joins in the conversation about relationship intruders and the Girl’s Best Friend/Husband dynamic that challenges the modern relationships.||4/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanDoctor Weirdness and Great Expectations||Greg and Amiira discuss the pressure that marriages collapse under when the spouse is expected to be everything to each other and the weirdness of knowing your doctor just banged the pharmaceutical rep or seeing your doctor out of context in real life....||4/10/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanComment Cards and Quarterly Review||This episode Amiira gives Greg a quarterly review and reads his comment cards, change in dynamics from when the dad was the head of the family and revolved around to him to the kids being the central focus, what Greg and Amiira’s dads were like coming ...||4/3/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanI'm Deciding How You Feel||This episode we talk about Greg and his family’s dog show, Greg and Paul both have had similar shifts where they no longer like what they do but feel like they’re too far into it now, feeling antisocial in your middle age, victim of unrealistic expecta...||3/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanMoon Zappa (Throuple)||This episode we cover Collateral damage and the butterfly effect in relationships, talk about Moon & Greg going on a date, Amiira and Greg’s first date, Moon and her ex-husband and Moon goes to a tantric sex workshop and realizes she’s a nightmare to b...||3/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanThe Peace Of Resistance||This episode we cover resistance and going to see Hamilton, the sliding scale of injury and resentment, butterfly effect and collateral damage in relationships.||3/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||CleanIt's also us.||This episode we cover writing relationship books, Being talked out of things you like, looking for validation, Amiira going to a lecture about raising kids in a porn addicted world, men’s midlife crisis, disparity between a couple in a marriage where o...||3/19/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
These podcasters have changed my life!
I discovered It’s Called a Breakup Because it’s Broken searching for fun audiobooks at the Beverly Hills Public Library in 2005, thinking I had it all together with my romantic relationship and hoping I’d never have to read a book like that. Flash forward a few weeks later when my bf asked me to take “a break.” Wow. I realized that relationship was broken and decided to listen to the audiobook. It totally changed my life. I changed my life after taking all of the suggestions that these two brilliant and hilarious people offered me and the world at large. I had so many dating issues it was insane, I was always falling for people that were “just not that into me” and making excuse after excuse.
Now 13 years later I’m happily married to an available man and ecstatic to discover that these two phenomenal people, Amiira and Greg, are still helping others with their frank, hilarious, vulnerable and intelligent advice. I can relate to their musings about relationships and marriage and I am grateful that they are so transparent and humble, making their struggles seem so normalized.
One last bit of praise— I’m a psychotherapist now and I find myself quoting their book/Greg’s books frequently to my clients and encouraging them to read them. I think the breakup book utilized a lot of CBT therapy, as well as 12 step principals and humor, the combination of which is so incredibly helpful to me and others! In any case, I love these guys and I wish them nothing but continued success in their relationships and in their careers!
Keeping it real...
It's refreshing to hear two lovely people who are open, honest and real. I look forward to the new episode every week. Greg and Amiira are not afraid to take off the rosy-colored glasses and discuss some of the challegnes that many couples face but are too afraid to talk about. Love the couple and the podcast!
My boyfriend wanted me to listen
I started listening because my boyfriend wanted me to and I am glad that I have. There are a lot of eye opening moments that I like and since I love him and view him as my future husband I like to think I need to mentally prepare myself for the long haul. I’m definitely more Greg and he is definitely more Amiira and we laugh about that. Anyway, thanks you two for doing this! I would just like more of Paul and Moon because Paul’s prospective on marriage was very rational and eye opening. Love your guts!