Miss Gender (video)
By Jay Frosting
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Best friends for years, Jay Frosting and Ashley talk about what it's like as Ashley figures out how she goes about transitioning from one gender to another. Discussions include how Ashley came to realize she’s transgender, coming out to parents and other family members, mulling over how to handle things at work, and simply trying to get the hang of being a woman.
|1||CleanVideoGenerally Hopeful (s02e13)||After Ashley's wobbly visit with her parents over Independence Day weekend in which her parents carelessly outed Ashley to her brother's parents-in-law, Ashley came to realize that her parents weren't using her pronouns when she wasn't around.||1/31/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
|2||CleanVideoAre Things Getting Better? (s02e12)||Ashley went to see her parents over Independence Day weekend. Her brother Adrian, and his wife and parents-in-law were also there, so Ashley felt some reassurance that even if her parents weren't any better with her name and pronouns,||8/23/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
|3||CleanVideoMom and Dad: Still Doofuses (s2e11)||Ashley chats with Jay about visiting her parents in December. They didn't use her birthname during the trip, but they didn't call her Ashley that often, either. Worse, it seems as if her parents are putting on an act while she's around -- because after...||2/13/2015||Free||View in iTunes|
|4||CleanVideoSo Many Trips! (s02e10)||Ashley and Jay talk about Ashley's travels over the last few months, including the family reunion she attended in July, her brother's wedding in August, and her dad's 70th birthday in October. - Her extended family at the reunion were super accepting,...||12/31/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
|5||CleanVideoAshley’s New Face (s02e09)||Ashley gives Jay all the details about her recent trip to Argentina for her FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) with Dr. Di Maggio, and the amazing help she got from her friend Andrea (on Twitter @ButtermilkPecan) while recovering and getting settled in ...||6/2/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
|6||CleanVideoWinterfamilytime 2013 (s02e08)||After a promising visit with her parents over Thanksgiving, Ashley felt somewhat optimistic about seeing them in December, but since there'd be fewer allies in the house, she worried her parents would backslide into the wrong name and pronouns. -||1/30/2014||Free||View in iTunes|
|7||CleanVideoThankful||After Ashley sent a second letter to her parents about using her correct name, she realized that they would probably just fall back to calling her Snooks all the time, a childhood nickname. She decided that if her they called her Snooks the next time t...||12/15/2013||Free||View in iTunes|
|8||CleanVideoImmovable Object||About a year ago, Ashley sent her parents a letter asking them to call her Ashley. At the time, she left open the possibility that her parents could still call her by a childhood nickname sometimes, Snooks-Pooks.||7/1/2013||Free||View in iTunes|
|9||ExplicitVideoThis Is No Good||Ashley visited her parents at the beginning of winter. Over her previous visit for Thanksgiving, she had heaps of support from visiting relatives, but this time Ashley had fewer allies -- mostly just her brother,||1/24/2013||Free||View in iTunes|
|10||ExplicitVideoThanksgiving Too||Even though Ashley's name change has gone through, she's wasn't sure whether it would make any difference when she visited her parents over Thanksgiving. It turns out, Ashley's cousins, aunts, and uncles seem to have become all the more supportive,||12/21/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|11||CleanVideoName Change Day||After having filed her paperwork and heaps of waiting -- among other steps -- Ashley's court date for her name change finally arrived. Ashley goes over the happenings that day and how things played out, including her game plan for getting out of bed by...||9/14/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|12||ExplicitVideoNo More Ms. Nice Girl||Ashley had been trying to remain patient with her parents' refusal to use her new name or correct pronouns, hoping that they'd come around on their own. In a letter she sent them a couple months ago, she sternly asked them to call her Ashley and decide...||8/6/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|13||CleanVideoThe Letter||Ashley has waited for months for her parents to start using the name Ashley instead of her birth name, but they won't, so she tries to explain her request again in a carefully worded letter. Unfortunately, the letter doesn't go over well and her parent...||6/22/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|14||ExplicitVideo7 Questions||Ashley answers 7 Questions for the we happy trans project, such as who's been most supportive of her transition, changes she'd like to see in the world, and how she's helping to make those changes. - Jay asks how Ashley's new coworkers are accepting o...||4/1/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|15||ExplicitVideoSupport Groups||Ashley is frustrated by her parents' lack of acceptance, and suggests that instead of emphasizing her new happiness to them, she could instead explain how bad she'd feel if she had to return to her life before transition.||3/16/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|16||ExplicitVideoThe T Word||Ashley teaches Jay about the nuances and changing meanings of some of the more hurtful slurs directed toward trans folks, with help from GLAAD's transgender glossary of terms. - Jay asks Ashley to elaborate on what she means when she says she's "alway...||2/29/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|17||CleanVideoAccept? Yes. Condone? No.||Ashley's father seems to view her gender therapist as a sort of puppet-master (puppet-mistress?) pulling Ashley's strings, even though Ashley switched from individual counseling to group support. Ashley's parents say that they accept what she's doing,||2/15/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|18||ExplicitVideoWinter Family Time||Ashley visits with family and friends during the yuletide season and her parents obstinately use the wrong name and pronouns for her, creating confusion among some guests. For Ashley, it's like insisting on using a woman's married name even after she s...||1/31/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|19||ExplicitVideoLaid Off||Ashley gets laid off, inferring through the business-speak that it was a means for the company to cut costs. She and Jay discuss searching for a new job now that Ashley is presenting as female full-time, but Ashley expresses doubts about whether she ca...||1/23/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|20||ExplicitVideoThanksgiving||Over Thanksgiving, Ashley's parents reveal that they still misunderstand her transgender status, claiming that she's cross-dressing and that she's making her coworkers uncomfortable. Her parents also wonder if Ashley's gender therapist is putting ideas...||1/16/2012||Free||View in iTunes|
|21||CleanVideoSexytime||Jay figures it's time to ask Ashley about sex and romance as a trans woman, asking her about underwear preferences, whether she ever finds panties arousing, and the added complexities of a trans woman dating lesbians. For instance,||12/31/2011||Free||View in iTunes|
|22||CleanVideoCatcalling||Ashley gets catcalled and wolf whistled at while entering Target and feels a little apprehensive, but also feels a little pleased. Jay asks if her mixed feelings are unique to transwomen or if they're common among all women. -||12/15/2011||Free||View in iTunes|
|23||CleanVideoClothes & Shopping||Jay asks Ashley if she had considered wearing a wig until her hair had grown out to a length that she felt was more feminine. Ashley answers a question from a viewer about her views on men wearing women's clothing as she was growing up,||11/30/2011||Free||View in iTunes|
|24||CleanVideoCall Me Ashley?||Ashley talks about her parents’ recent visit and how she asked them to consider calling her Ashley rather than her birth name. - She also recounts the reprimand she received from her employer for using the bathrooms matching her gender presentation ra..||11/21/2011||Free||View in iTunes|
|25||CleanVideoTransition Day Makeup at 8x||Ashley attached her Flip camera-sized camcorder to her shower door (with a Gorillapod flexible tripod) and recorded her makeup routine the morning of her transition at work through the reflection in an adjacent mirror. Then, among the editing process,||11/16/2011||Free||View in iTunes|
Outstanding and fun
What if your best friend suddenly announced he or she thought their gender at birth should have been different?
This intensely personal story, told in a relaxed conversation, gains much from the long-term friendship of the two folks behind this show. Though both were still finding their podcasting feet in the first episode, by the second, Ashley is revealing her journey with honest charm and Jay is providing a shining example of the kind of supportive—while still curious and sometimes perplexed—friendship we should all be so lucky to have.
I'm looking forward to years of this fascinating dialogue on gender, body, and how we make ourselves who we are.
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