Paper News Out Loud
By Alternate Reality Productions
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An absurdist news comedy that just might make you laugh. Come learn how the sun going supernova will impact your week and what to do if your children are magicked into cast iron skillets. Are you wondering how to put the ghosts in ghost peppers? We have the infusion recipe for you. There’s something for everyone on Paper News Out Loud.
||ExplicitEp. 31 I Write Recipes Not Tragedies||At night when no one else can hear, Diane sings. She sings for gooey, delicious, warm chocolate chip cookies to appear in front of her. When they don’t, she weeps. In this week’s episode, back and better than ever, Diane teaches us about the proud history of chocolate chip cookies. Then Florence reveals to a listener what the secret sauce is to making your own recipes after our podcasters check the classifieds. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-chocolate-chip-cookie-was-invented-by-accident-2013-3 Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Recipe Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/eb648011-b649-4b48-99d2-c57f1ad057fe This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||10/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 30 Close Encounters with Mars and Meal Prepping||Once upon a time, Mars loved Earth so much that they just couldn’t stay away any longer. They moved closer and closer until they gently crashed into the blue planet and destroyed all the life on it. Diane takes us on an intergalactic journey through the mind of Mars and why it is just so darn close. Then our podcasters help us pack and prepare for our trip to the Red Planet. And finally, Florence helps a listener who needs a little help packing lunch. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://mars.nasa.gov/allaboutmars/nightsky/mars-close-approach/ Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Plan-Weekly-Meals Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!||8/8/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 29 Flower Lemon Mango Power (and puppies)||In an alternate reality, M&Ms are called A&As. That reality is terrible and people who live there are sad. Florence teaches us about where our favorite candy brands (probably) got their names. Then Diane helps out a lonely listener who just wants a little puppy to love, but before that, our favorite podcasters teach us a delicious and tasty recipe. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: Http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/05/what-the-ms-stand-for-in-mms/ https://www.leaf.tv/articles/the-history-of-the-3-musketeers-candy-bar/ https://www.rewindandcapture.com/why-is-skittles-called-skittles/ https://www.thefactsite.com/2016/01/skittles-history-and-facts.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Love-Your-Puppy Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/7649c3ee-cb4a-4eda-9c8f-eef37ce5c728 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||7/25/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 28 Breaking! All! The! Records!||Guess which podcast just broke the world record for being the most informative podcast?!? Yeah, it wasn’t ours. Probably something put out there by NPR. Anyways, this week Florence teaches us all what we need to know about the Guinness Book of World Records and then some of the whackiest records out there. Then our podcasters bring storytime back again with the tale of a desert and a Tahoe. Finally, Diane gives us tips and tricks about how to break a world record of our own. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: http://www.businessinsider.com/weirdest-world-records-2015-5 https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/60/throughtheyears.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Into-the-Guinness-Book-of-World-Records Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! To support our cat and overlord, Maggie: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/434f01b7-8777-42c8-9395-df7e9b217ebb This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||7/11/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 27 The Galactic Naming Committee Presents...||It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Florence and Diane! Our favorite podcasters return after temporarily being lost in time and space with a whole new fount of knowledge to share with their best friends (you all). Diane explains the complicated mechanics of how plane work, and then reveals to us the long awaited results of The Galactic Naming Committee’s movement to rename the moon. We hear all the latest classifieds that were posted in the alley and Florence helps out a listener who is born to rule. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.explainthatstuff.com/howplaneswork.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Become-Prom-Queen Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/93ad5b88-36f6-41fb-a0b1-acbdb4622ec9 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||6/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 26 Ghost Ecology||Harness the Sun||5/29/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 25 Stars and Death: That's All Space Has to Offer||Humans allegedly swallow an average eight spiders while sleeping. More alarming, spiders swallow on average eight planets in one sitting when they grow to their full strength. Florence weaves us a web of space conspiracy theories. A very special (slightly deceased) guest joins our podcasters for an interview. And Diane has a trick or two up her sleeve on how to keep those nasty, eight-legged friends out of your home. This is Paper News Out Loud. Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Headline: https://science.howstuffworks.com/space-conspiracy-theory6.htm https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/in-space-only-italian-radio-operators-can-hear-you-scream?utm_term=.laAA1GYWKK#.vwk0z7PQvv Interview: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Anne-Bonny http://www.zimbio.com/quiz/CKvWoP5M9Bf/What+s+Your+Pirate+Name Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Spiders-Out-of-Your-House Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||5/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 24 Social Scrolling Through Fitbit Betrayal||This episode is dedicated to Wanda, the committed FBI agent assigned to monitor Diane’s activity. Wanda - You’ve been there for us through thick and thin, from inside our phone cameras to the very FitBit on our wrists. Thank you for your years of service. In this episode, Diane enlightens us to how technology is the new Big Brother. Several fresh classified ads blow this way. And Florence helps a listener who just can’t say no to social media. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: [Ways Your Technology is Already Spying on You] (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-08/ways-your-technology-is-already-spying-on-you/8334960) Wikihow: [Take a Break From Social Media] (https://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Break-from-Social-Media) Music by Jake Harrison: [AtthisBeats] (https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats) [Look at our website with them eyeballs] (https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/) And check our the home of our new network: [Almost Better Network] (https://almostbetter.net/) If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||5/1/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 23 A Farmer's Market Renaissance Under I-80||Clip this coupon and save 60% on your next podcast listen. Don’t forget to check out our other weekly deals! Florence teaches us about the revival of the farmers’ market. Our podcasters take us on ear-pleasing journey with this week’s community art. And finally, Diane helps out a consumer who’s hitting the grocery store too often. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: [https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2013/08/7/meet-me-market-evolution-farmers-market] Community art: Why thank you, Rebecca! :[//www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/farmers-markets-68235529/] Wikihow: [https://www.wikihow.com/Save-Money-by-Shopping-Once-a-Month] Music by Jake Harrison: [https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats] Look at our website with them eyeballs: [https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/] And check our the home of our new network: [https://almostbetter.net/] If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! This podcast is powered by Pinecast.||4/17/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 22 Marshmallow Spring||Spring has sprung, and we couldn’t be happier! Complete with bunnies and marshmallows and Peeps, oh my! Florence brings the proud history of marshmallows and ...||4/4/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 21 Living a Lie: The Blue Moon Chronicles||A hug a day keeps the doctor and possibly demented spirits away! Diane teaches us some healthy tips and tricks. The podcasters read off the ...||3/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 20 Fitness Frenzy: Engage Your Core||At the end of the episode, we discover that our sweat was actually tears the whole time. That’s because this is our special edition fitness ...||3/20/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 19 Kicking Ass and Naming Stars||Watch the skies, traveler, for the contributions of women are visible in the stars. Diane starts us off by celebrating just a few of the ...||3/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 18 Botanical Bricks and Classified Kissing Tips||And to that I say, LEGO of the past and move into the future where toys are plant-based and life is good. Florence shares some ...||3/6/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 17 Baby Shampoo is Made from What Now?||I scream. You scream. We all scream. For ice cream fun facts provided to you from your favorite podcast provider! Diane takes us on a ...||2/27/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 16 Captivated by Youth and Aliens: An Insurance Guide||When the moon hits your eye like a big alien wayside, that’s amore. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it... Florence teaches us about ...||2/20/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 15 Ritual Galentine’s Card Making||Date Idea: Snuggle up on the comfiest surface in your home, crack open a bottle of grape soda and pour into two receptacles for drinking ...||2/13/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 14 Midwinter Holiday Break||If you listen to Paper News Out Loud on the third Wednesday of the Month and laugh exactly seven minutes in, spring will start early. ...||2/5/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 13 Ghost Pepper Pudding Festival||What’s blue and red and whispers tales of doom in our ears between breaths all over? It’s the moon, of course! Florence educates us on ...||1/30/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 12 Amazon Go to the Store||Lettuce take you on the shopping journey of your leaf. Diane brings up to speed on this modern era’s latest and greatest in shopping technology. ...||1/23/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 11 Candles Can Be Made Out of Anything (Citation Needed)||What burns longer: a red candle or a green candle? Neither! They both burn shorter. Florence guides us on an illuminating journey through the history ...||1/16/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 10 Hello, 2018 and Trolls!||We watched the sun rise on a new year. Hello, 2018! And what did we see? Trolls. Florence explains how we got our favorite phalange ...||1/9/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 9 Goodbye, 2017!||5...4...3...2...1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Can't wait to do this again in March. Florence shares some fun facts about our end of the year traditions. Both ...||1/2/2018||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 8 Santa Tells All||Have a holly, jolly podcast! Everyone’s favorite not-quite human guest stars on the show. No, not Bob Barker. It’s Santa Claus! And she has a ...||12/26/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 7 Snoplops in Retrograde||Shakespeare was actually an alligator who dressed up as a man to write plays and sonnets. At least that’s how the stories go. As of ...||12/19/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 6 Good Ole Flesh Bodies||You think you hear a chair creaking? That’s not a chair creaking. That’s just a recording of a chair creaking. Florence debates whether ingesting parasites ...||12/12/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 5 Ticketmaster: We Don’t Want Your Children||Before this episode, an old wife came and whispered all her tales to our newscasters before she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a ...||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 4 Plant Suit Riot||Want to hear a joke? Knock knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you want to hear a garden joke! Diane teaches us all how ...||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 3 The Comfort Zone||Hello, listeners. This is your favorite online product provider. We know you. We know when you’re sleeping. We know everything about you. *static noise* Sorry ...||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 2 Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows||We love you a latte. Wait, what? Is it too soon? False, it’s never too soon for pumpkin spice lattes. Florence and Diane wish PSLs ...||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitEp. 1 Netflix and Chill||What do Netflix, sea cows, and layer upon layer of makeup all have in common? They’re all in this episode, of course! Florence and Diane ...||12/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
Next big thing?
Hilarious, plus you have very genuine personalities and an abundance of cleverness. The episodes have a strong start and only get better as you go along. I feel like we’d get along really well if we met :) Can’t wait to see what the future holds for this podcast!
I was looking for something new and unique to listen to and I am so glad I found this podcast! These girls are hilarious and outlandish and I love it!
These two have such a great chemistry together! I think I found my new favorite podcast. The jokes are nonstop and the production quality is top-notch. I can't recommend this podcast enough!