Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique
By Pitney & Amelia
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We may be awful, but we're right! A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!
||ExplicitScum and Villainy||Amelia realized that Pitney's dog Joxer had been in several episodes (barking and snuffling and squeaky toys and whatnot) so she decided to bring her dog Spike into the room. Not necessarily the best idea, but it's his turn to be famous. Star Wars. We...||9/14/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitMore Than Music||The death of Chester Bennington affected Pitney more profoundly than he expected. He's attended memorials all over Texas (at the time of this recording, he had only gone to one) and has found the outpouring of love and support inspiring. We talk about...||8/31/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTowels, Ticks, and a Tosser||Pitney and Amelia discuss the proper way to fold a bath towel and make a bed. Do you go longways or crossways? Do your nice sides touch? Do you throw sixteen pillows on the floor every night? These things are important! Tick talk. We talk ticks. And...||8/18/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitToo Weird For The Ranch!||Pitney interviews Kerrville “Kerrverts” Iris and Marie. The joys of face and body painting (and the sorrows of using the wrong kind of paint), what gets you attached to certain events and draws you back year after year, and their weirdest memories...||8/3/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitToo Woo for You!||Sometimes little things can set off the strangest conversations! Amelia read an article to Pitney about Breatharians (idiots who think we're going to believe they never eat food and live instead off of "cosmic energy"), and then the discussion turned...||7/20/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitAin't No Douchebags Here!||Pitney is back from the Kerrville Folk Festival, where he had a marvelous time and interviewed a bunch of crazy Kerrverts! He shares his interview with Joel and Jordan, while he and Amelia interject from time to time with comments that take them off...||7/6/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Airport Report||Sometimes hip and happening means old-school and over. Why would Austin decide its airport needed to go back in time? And do the super-cool lack sweat glands? Pitney and Amelia question the sanity behind some weird new developments at ABIA. Then we...||6/22/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitInside the Bitchen Studio||What's Pitney's favorite word? What's Amelia's least favorite sound? This week, we took the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire, better known as that thing James Lipton does at the end of Inside the Actors' Studio. We learned some stuff about ourselves and...||6/8/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSmashes Thrashes and Hits - Our First Anniversary!||IT'S OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, YOU GUYS! :partyhorn: This is amazing. We can't thank you all enough for the support. So we decided to make you something: it's a clip show! If you're new to us, this episode is a bit of a sampler platter. If you've...||5/25/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTexas Frightmare Weekend Special||It's our Texas Frightmare Weekend Special! Come with us to the Hyatt Regency hotel in the DFW airport (seriously!) as we celebrate one of our favorite nerdy pleasures! HORROR MOVIES! First, as we enjoy delicious pints of beer in the hotel bar, we...||5/11/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitBag Those Toenails!||Omigod, like bag those toenails! Amelia desperately needs a pedicure, and we talk about how fabulous toenail polish is. Then Pitney shares a story you just will NOT believe about a crazy woman who showed up to a poolside potluck and changed his life...||4/27/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitFlorence Foster Jenkins||Who is Florence Foster Jenkins? Your new muse, that's who! Learn about this fascinating woman who sang her heart out despite being rather terrible at it, who became the toast of New York during the days of Toscanini and Caruso, and who inspired a...||4/13/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitAssorted Awesomeness||This week we're giving you a little of everything! We talk about a scary way women used to clean their ladybits, recurring dreams and nightmares, refusing to comply with dress codes, yelling at cake, Barbie's musical career in the 80s and 90s, and the...||3/30/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitDestroy That Mattress!||You have GOT to DESTROY that MATTRESS! Amelia is delving into the world of Hellraiser and Pitney helps her along on her journey, as they discuss what the movies are about, their obsession with Skinless Julia and that damn mattress, and the time Pitney...||3/16/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitMangia!||Pitney and Amelia are nothing if not gourmet! Listen as they share their love of experimenting in the kitchen and experiencing new cuisines, telling stories of how they learned to cook, sharing tips and recipes, and insisting on the French...||3/2/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitCheck Your Privilege!||Privilege. Many of us have it, and most don't understand what it is and get super defensive when the subject comes up. Amelia explains one kind of privilege that you probably have and she doesn't. You see, she's lefthanded, and life isn't as easy for...||2/16/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitHorror of Valentine's Day||Welcome to a Valentine's Day episode filled with utterly unromantic stuff! Amelia hates Valentine's Day. HATES. IT. Find out her many reasons, including one story of a Valentine's dinner date gone horribly awry! Then, speaking of horrors, Pitney...||2/2/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitSoft Sensuality||New year, new crap to complain about. People who set themselves up for failure with b******t resolutions. Our new President and his nonsense. Commercials that are so dumb they make us want to stab someone. Plus a story about Verity...||1/19/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Mafia? Fuhgeddaboudit!||Pitney explains his obsession with organized crime and mafia documentaries, and talks about his personal childhood encounters with mobsters and their shady dealings. Then Amelia jumps in with a quick story about the Worst Person in the World. ...||1/5/2017||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitChristmas Extravaganza!||Happy Holidays! This week, we talk about family traditions and how families come up with their own special way of celebrating Christmas. Trees, fancy or no? Or both? Does Santa wrap presents? When do you open presents? There's a lot that goes into a...||12/22/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWicca, Please!||We've gotten some questions about Wicca lately, so we decided to answer them. Pitney teaches us, in a nutshell, about the Wheel of the Year, about rituals and spellwork, and about the duality of deity. Amelia does her best to keep up. (If you...||12/8/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThankful||Happy Thanksgiving! It's been a weird year, but there's always something to give thanks for, right? We thought it would be fun to talk about some of the more unusual things we're thankful for, things that continue to bring us joy every day! And...||11/23/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitThe Road to Happiness||What a week, huh? We swear it's a coincidence that we're putting up a podcast about being happy during a week when a lot of us are so miserable. But Amelia DID change her mind about calling this episode "Get Happy, Stupid!" so we all won, in a way. ...||11/10/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitFriday, Our 13th: The Halloween Special!||It's our 13th episode, and it's Halloween! Our favorite holiday by far. The sights, the sounds, the scares, all of it! We tell stories of our glorious party days of the past and the complications of putting scary decorations on a "murder...||10/27/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitFear the Satanic Bouillon!||We LOVE horror movies. A lot. And this is the time of year when regular people are in the mood for horror, so we got to chatting about horror movies through the decades, and how they often tend to reflect the times! When we get to the 1980s,...||10/20/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitDon't Miss Our Halloween Special!||Don't miss our Halloween Special, airing October 28th!||10/16/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTed Nugent Sucks!||We're a little all over the place this week with bits of silliness and seriousness. Trusting your gut. Bathing in a public hot tub. Mister Diskette and his quest to see Xena's boob. Listener email! And another tale of the Worst Person in the World. ...||10/6/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitGender: Non-Binary 101 part 2||As we continue our conversation about gender, we talk about tone and attitude in interactions, particularly on social media, and whether or not people are truly willing to learn from each other. In other words, s**t gets real. Like, really real. ...||9/22/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitGender: Non-Binary 101||(Get it? 101? Binary? Aw. come on.) We've been talking to each other about gender for a while, and thought it was time to share our thoughts. Listen to two cisgender folks get super nerdy about word definitions and analyze the hell out of them, and...||9/22/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWild About Harry||Pitney and Amelia discuss getting rid of "stuff" and why Pitney is an expert purger and Amelia is sentimental as hell. What we collect and why. Some musical samples of Amelia's super famous relative you've probably never heard of. And stories about...||9/8/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitTOILET RAT!!!!||in which Pitney has an unexpected visitor||9/2/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitVaseline||A discussion of unguents, balms, and salves takes an odd turn. Then things get dirty. NSFW. We mean it. Oh, and we introduce yet another new character! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! Questions? Comments?...||8/25/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitCottage Cheese on Lettuce Leaf||(Sorry about the slightly odd audio...sounds at times like we're broadcasting from space!) The food like Mom used to make, the food Pitney really shouldn't have been eating, and the wonders of chicken nivernaise. Our biggest boy crushes from the 70s....||8/11/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitFinding Left of Center||Listen in as two non-experts talk about politics in America. As we admit that while we believe it’s important to listen to those on the other side of an issue, we don’t always do it. As we talk about how the way you approach people who disagree...||7/28/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitA D Wee of Augusta!||Were you a weird child? Come with us as we reminisce about why we were the weirdest kids we knew. Then we continue down the weirdness track, discussing the joys of cussing, fake pregnancies, and some really odd compliments we've received. Questions?...||7/14/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit4 Finding Your Tribe||We discuss Pitney's experience at the Kerrville Folk Festival, and how important it is to find your tribe, especially when you don't quite fit into the larger community. And we open the mailbag, answering our first listener question! Questions?...||6/30/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit3 Nostalgia, Homophobia, and GTFO||Coincidentally, during the week following the horrific Pulse nightclub massacre in Orlando, we had already planned to post this episode that features a frank discussion about homophobia and the ugliness we lived and witnessed during our formative...||6/14/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||Explicit2 Pros and Cons of Cons||What Pitney and Amelia love the most about conventions||6/2/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
||ExplicitWelcome to Our World!||Step right in to the Bitchen Boutique||5/26/2016||Free||View in iTunes|
This podcast is like listening to those bizarre conversations you used to have at two in the morning with your best friends. Pitney and Amelia are lots of fun... the only drawback is that I wish I were in the room having the conversations with them!
These two crack me up! It's great to listen to people who have known each other for so long goof around and reminisce. The story about their ex-friend in the third episode to insane.
They will make you smile!
Their stories will make you laugh hysterically. Pitney and Amelia have a way of telling their life stories that make you feel like you were there. These two are original, fun and hilarious! Every episode is even better than the last--they knock it out of the park.